


A Betrayal of Trust

by Gold_Vermillion



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dead Baby Bogart, F/M, Family, First War with Voldemort, Friendship, Homophobia Induced Disownment, Humor, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, James Potter Lives, Lily Evans Potter Lives, M/M, Marauders, Past Domestic Violence, Past Torture, Past War Related Trauma, Past torture is not described in detail, Post-First War with Voldemort, Torture, Torture is clearly signposted and can be skipped if it bothers you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-01-23 17:31:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18554476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gold_Vermillion/pseuds/Gold_Vermillion
Summary: Opening scene: the Potter’s house, Godric’s Hollow on the evening of the 31st of October, 1981. Everyone in the wizarding world knows what happens next. Except, in this time and universe Lily Evans Potter has her wand…Meanwhile, Sirius is acting very strangely. Remus can't work out why...





	1. The Secret Secret-Keeper

**Author's Note:**

> Warning (ish):
> 
> Lily is fairly badass in this story. I try to write her as true-to-life as the many badass women in my life, i.e. as well as being awesomeness personified and loving to boot, Lily sometimes makes mistakes, fights with her husband, takes risks she possibly shouldn't, and is occasionally unreasonable. 
> 
> I mention this because it seems to be the aspect of my writing that the most people take issue with - and here I was, thinking it would be the referenced homophobia and torture that would upset readers...
> 
> So, you have been warned. I hope you read the story anyway, I'm quite proud of it. (And a little bit in love with Lily - and Rem too, if I'm honest... no one seems to have a problem with him, though for some reason). 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read this so far and given me feedback and encouragement xx
> 
> Special thanks to everyone who's left comments, kudos and bookmarked my fic - you have a special place in my heart xxx

Part One

 

In the end it was the bogart that saved them. Although, to be honest, Lily hadn’t been overly impressed by finding it at the time. I mean, which young mother doesn’t want to discover, at 7 pm while trying to run a bath for her progressively more tired and grumpy one year old son, that a shape-shifting bogey impersonating her greatest fear has moved into the bathroom cabinet. The fact that Lily didn’t have her wand and that her greatest fear appeared, unnervingly, to be the corpse of her darling one-year-old Harry, still, blue-grey, and lifeless, did nothing to improve Lily’s overall mood. Swearing under her breath, in a way she had promised to give up now Harry was starting to talk, Lily ducked quickly upstairs to retrieve her wand, in order to deal ruthlessly with the unwanted household horror. She had just successfully fished her wand out from where it had fallen between the clothes dresser and the bed and was heading back out of her and James’s bedroom when she heard the front door shatter.

Lily was down the hall and at the upper landing of the stairs before she even had time to process a coherent thought. She slowed, instinctively hiding behind the door-jam, body angled and alert - after three years of regular combat as a member of the Order of the Phoenix, slipping into battle mode was frighteningly easy. Lily edged forward, wand out, and peered down the flight of stairs at the splintered gaping hole where the front door had been. Just then James pelted out of the living room, wandless, and skidded to a stop, frozen with horror. Standing in what was left of the door frame was Lord Voldemort himself, wind whipping his robes, skin wax-like and distorted, his glowing red eyes locked with those of her husband, his mouth twitched into a cruel smile. Voldemort had not seen Lily.

James shouted “Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off…”

Before James had even finished speaking Lily acted, firing a defensive charm that sent her husband flying backwards into the wall and clear (just) of the green killing curse Voldemort fired at him a fraction of a second later. Voldemort’s curse hit the mirror, which shattered and refracted a defused curse back into the room. A shard of it hit Voldemort in the chest and he staggered - buying Lily the heartbeat of time she needed in order to re-train her wand on the man who had come to murder her husband and son. “Avada Kadavra” she screamed and felt the wild joy of it flow through her wand arm, leaving her body like poison. You won’t kill, maim and torture anyone else I love, ever - she thought, as the green light of the spell hit her attacker full in the face. Lily had never thought she truly had it in her to kill someone, but as she watched Voldemort, the man who had caused so much hurt and killed so many, crumple in what was left of her doorway, all she felt was vicious joy. But then the explosion hit. Lily was thrown backwards as the whole wall closest to Voldemort was blasted into rubble.

Minutes later, Lily was crouched next to James’s crumpled body, working fast. Harry, judging by the healthy crying in the room next-door, was fully alive, well and conscious. But James wasn’t. Lily had removed the rubble that was crushing his lower body, stemmed the bleeding from the gashes in his side and arms, and had repaired enough broken bones to be sure that he was able to breath and wouldn’t bleed out from broken legs. However, the refracted Avada Kadavra that Voldemort had shot had hit James and she couldn’t work out what the damage was. Although, to her great relief, he was still breathing. Lilly had never even heard of an AK causing damage but not killing someone - but then she supposed James hadn’t received the full force of the curse and her knowledge of healing was limited. “If you die on me James Potter, I promise I will kill you” Lily hissed leaning over her husband, feeling his chest and looking for any obvious signs injury. She felt something hard and flat in her husband’s shirt pocket. James’s two way mirror, the one he used to talk to Sirius. Sirius, their best friend, Sirius, the trainee healer and Sirius, one of the only fucking people who could come into their house to help her, because of the useless fidelius charm on the place would still keep her friends out, even though it had somehow allowed their arch-enemy in. Why on earth had she not thought of Sirius before. Lily flicked open the mirror.

“Sirius, Sirius Black. Fucking PAD FOOT.”

Sirius’s face swam into focus in the little contact mirror in her palm. “Lily? What the…?” Sirius paled.

“Voldemort just appeared in our house in Godric’s Hollow. He’s dead but James…” Lily faltered for a second “oh God, just get here will you? If we get through this I am going to fucking kill Peter fucking Pettigrew”. Sirius straitened and nodded once “OK” he said “I’m on my way”.

 

* * *

 

Remus Lupin lent back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, he fort the urge to rock the wooden chair onto its back legs as he stretched, reminding himself he was no longer a teenager, even if his (very adult) curse-breaking work was spread all over his old desk, reminding him alarmingly of the homework he had used the desk to complete during school holidays. Living with his parents again after all this time was giving him flashbacks, Remus decided, that was all. And it was probably best not revisit his youth in a way that could potentially leave him spread-eagled on his bedroom floor. His Mum might hear and that would extremely embarrassing. So instead Remus twisted in the chair, stretching out his cramped back and looked around his small, tidy and sparsely (but comfortably) furnished room. Apart from the desk, there was a narrow bed next to windows with full length blue and yellow pastel curtains, a slightly faded quilt and a rag mat lay next to the bed, covering the smooth tongue-and-groove board flooring. Apart from that, the only other furnishings were an old carved oak wardrobe and a magnificent bookshelf that stretched as high as the ceiling and covered nearly the whole of one wall. Before moving back with his parents a few weeks ago, Remus had barely slept in this room since he came of age - he and Sirius had moved in together so soon after leaving Hogwarts. Naturally, his mother had removed most of his teenaged trappings years ago, but even so the room still felt like it belonged to his sixteen-year-old self. He wasn’t sure what his parents had used the room for while he was away - although he suspected his mother had used it for storing things and possibly doing her sewing in. However, as she had banished him to the living room, suitcase and all, until she had a chance to tidy it up, Remus couldn’t be completely sure. All things considered, his parents had been very good about him turning up unannounced a little under a month ago, asking to move back home. They had even put up with his sketchy explanations about why he had suddenly had to move out of his ‘friend’s’ flat, without too many questions. Remus had never been entirely honest with his parents about the exact nature of his and Sirius’s relationship. It seemed ridiculous really, that his parents didn’t know about the most important relationship of his adult life. But when he and Sirius first moved in together Remus had avoided the topic, not being sure how to explain bi-sexuality to his extremely old-fashioned parents. He had only dated girls before and his parents already knew Sirius as one of Remus’s best friends. He was scared. He was worried his Mum and Dad would think Sirius had somehow turned Remus gay - or that Remus’s girlfriends hadn’t been genuine relationships but merely cover for a closeted son. He hadn’t wanted the scandal, the guilt or the pity and it had been so easy to pretend he and Sirius were just flatting together. After all, isn’t that what best friends in their early twenties usually do? And once the first lie was told, the idea of broaching the topic became more and more awkward as time wore on and Remus had never found the ideal minute to have the conversation… So now he found himself dumped after seven years and his parents had no idea. He could still tell them, he guessed. But now said relationship seemed to be over, or at least on hold, it hardly seemed to be an appropriate time to explain. Who knows, the next person Remus was dumb enough to fall for might be appropriately female and he might never need to talk to them about it. That said, he dearly wanted to be able to talk to his parents about the break-up. Maybe he would even be able cry about it, to rage at the unfairness of the situation and how much he didn’t understand what was going on in Sirius’s crazy brain. Remus hadn’t had anyone to talk to about any of it at all - Lily and James were in hiding and any other friends Remus might at one point have been comfortable talking to about relationships with were either estranged or dead. Remus winced. He tried really hard never to think about all the people he had known and loved who had died. It hurt too much and he had a job to do. There would be time to grieve properly after the war. At least he still had his family. Remus sat very still, listening to his parents conversing quietly in the living room below, the Wizarding Wireless a quiet hum in the background, and he knew he didn’t have the heart to tell them about his sordid love affair. He was holding on to normality so hard that he was terrified that it would shatter in his hands at any moment. He didn’t have the strength to hold the illusion of normality and talk about Sirius. His parents deserved normal. Hadn’t he caused them enough pain for one lifetime? What with being a werewolf, unemployed and a member of the (quickly dying off) Order of the Phoenix. Surely having to confront their son’s both gay and tragic love life was one worry he could spare them - however much it hurt him to hide it.

It was at this point that a huge shaggy silver dog patronus leaped bodily through the wall of Remus’s room and landed crouching on the rug. The voice of his possibly-ex-boyfriend emitted from the dog’s mawl:

“Remus, I have been an idiot. The Potters have been attacked and James is badly hurt. I have brought them to our flat. Please come, fast”.

The dog disappeared in a swirl of mist and Remus swore, rage rushing over his body like a physical thing, as though he had stepped into a lake of anger. Only Sirius would have the nerve to call on him for help out of the blue, like the last three weeks hadn’t even happened. Like they had never even argued. Rumus noted bitterly that Sirius had also referred to the building they had lived in as ‘our flat’ again, too - not ‘my flat’ like the last time they had talked. But it was also clear that Lily, James and Harry were in trouble. So with a huge effort, Remus took a deep breath and pushed down his rage, forcing it into a small, hard, containable ball in the pit of his stomach. Standing briskly, he fumbled for his travelling cloak while racking his brains for thinking a plausible lie to tell his parents to explain why he needed to go out this late in the evening. Of cause Remus was going to help the Potters - some things were more important than domestic rows and heart-ache.

 

* * *

 

Remus apperated neatly onto the doorstep of Sirius’s London Flat. He tapped a pattern out quickly on the door and waited a heartbeat before it was opened a crack. Lily peeped out at him, her wand pointing directly at his chest.

“Moony” she said “what did you say the night I told you James and I were getting engaged?”

Of cause. She wanted to check it was really him - not a Death Eater impersonating him using polyjuice potion. Remus flinched slightly but replied

“I said “Oh no! James is going to be completely insufferable - he’s been sure he would marry you since we were 13.” OK, my turn. Lily, where were we the night you told me about your engagement?”

“Here, in this flat” she replied - Remus grinned.

Lily threw open the door and threw a one-armed hug around him - Harry was on her left hip and she was wearing, well, not much to be honest. Just a baggy T-shirt, no bra and a pair of fairly see-through pajama pants. Remus blushed. Lily glanced down at her clothes as though just noticing them.

“Oh, right. Yeh, well we were getting ready for bed when Voldemort showed up. I haven’t really have time to change since.”

“Voldemort was in your house?!” said Remus, agast. “But how… Sirius didn’t… he couldn’t have told…” stuttered Remus panicking

“No” Lily cut in quickly “It’s OK Moony, Sirius had nothing to do with it. Peter was our secret keeper. He’s the bastard who told” she gave Remus a searching look “I thought you knew we had switched?”

Remus shook his head slowly, stunned. He had no idea.

“Well” said Lily finally “I guess it’s an evening for unpleasant surprises all round” she gave him a rye grin.

Remus stepped into the house. Sirius was kneeling on the floor next to an unconscious James. Remus’s heart skipped - and it wasn’t just James’s poor health that was making him feel panicky.

“Have you checked it’s really Sirius?” he asked.

Lily frowned. “No, I just kind of assumed. He had James’s mirror and was able to get into our house despite the fidelius”.

“It’s OK Rem. Just ask me something” said Sirius without looking up.

“OK. What was the last thing you said to me?” said Remus.

Sirius frowned, before replying heavily “Remus, I love you. But get the fuck out of my house.”

Remus nodded “It’s him”.

“Sirius!” Lily was shocked.

“Yeh, well. I never said it was my finest hour.” Sirius replied, still hunched over James, not looking at either of them. Remus made a little disapproving noise in the back of his throat and Sirius glanced up, catching his eye.

“Moony, I’m sorry. I really am. I can talk to you about it later. You can yell at me and everything, I promise. But right now I’m trying to make sure Prongs doesn’t die”.

“OK, understood.” said Remus stiffly. He and Lily joined Sirius, kneeling on the floor next to James. “What happened?” said Remus in a much softer tone.

“Long story” said Lily “here, hold Harry for a minute would you? I want to help Pads first before I explain.”

Remus nodded gently taking the sleepy boy, rocking him and lightly rubbing his back in a soothing, slow circular, well practised way. Harry settled sleepily into his shoulder - Remus smiled, the little boy still knew him, even after his time away. Lily shuffled close to her husband, wand in one hand, the other working quickly over his prone form, finally resting lightly on James’s left collarbone. He seemed to settle a little and breath more evenly with both her and Sirius there. Lily smiled and relaxed just a fraction. She looked up at Remus.

“OK, I’m going to explain. Listen carefully, because I think it’s going to have to be you who tells Albus. We desperately need help but I don’t think I even have it in me to summon a patronus, let alone deal with Dumbledore on a mission, I’m just so bloody knackered”.

Remus nodded, “No problem.”

An hour later and Remus was cradling a sleeping Harry while Albus Dumbledore paced the flat. Lily and Sirius had taken James to St Mungos as soon as Dumbledore had managed to ensure there were enough friendly healers present to take care of them. Usually The Order tried not to use the hospital, as the Death Eaters had infiltrated every public institution, even St Mungos. But in the end they had decided it was more dangerous for James to stay away than for him to go. Albus hadn’t really wanted Lily to accompany James, he would have preferred Remus to go, so that Albus could quiz Lily in detail about the attack. Unfortunately for Dumbledore, Lily had had other ideas. The greatest wizard alive he may be, but even Dumbledore wasn’t fool enough to tell Lily Potter she couldn’t accompany a critically injured James to a potentially Death-Eater infested hospital. Taking on and beating Grindelwald at his full strength paled in comparison when measured against arguing with an irate Lily, in Remus’s personal opinion. So Albus was left to glean second-hand information from Remus until such point as James was stable enough for Lily to risk leaving his bedside. Dumbledore stopped pacing and faced Remus, piercing him with his x-ray like gaze.

“So what you are telling me, is that the Potter's asked for Peter Pettigrew’s assistance with their fidelius charm and he was their secret keeper, not Mr Black?”

Remus nodded “Apparently Sirius suggested it as a kind of double bluff. He though Peter would be less likely to be suspected and targeted by the Death Eaters. Sirius was the obvious choice of secret keeper after all - everyone knew he was James’s closest friend and Sirius is a highly accomplished wizard. Where as Peter was less well known and far less skilled magically.”

“Mr Black said that did he?”

“Hmm. He did. Modesty was never really his strong suit…”

“And Mrs Potter confirmed this?”

Remus nodded.

“And neither of them had told you of this before tonight?”

Remus scowled “Correct. Sirius neglected to pass on that relevant detail before this evening”.

There was a short but awkward silence before Dumbledore continued “So Peter must have diverged the secret of the Potter’s safe house to Voldemort?”

“Presumably. Unless there’s another way of breaking a fidelius charm of which I am unaware” Remus replied “but we’ve known for some time that someone close to us was a spy, ever since the Potter’s mission was ambushed last month. Looks like now we know who” said Remus, his voice dripping venom and disgust.

Dumbledore tented his fingers, tips together, and gazed momentarily into space.

“So Voldemort turned up at Godric’s Hollow earlier this evening?” he asked.

“That’s right. Around 7 o’clock according to Lily. They were just about to put Harry to bed.”

“Did she describe the attack?”

“Yes” Remus launched into a detailed description of Voldemort’s attack, Lily’s heroic defence of her family, the following explosion, and James’s injuries. Dumbledore listened attentively and when Remus had finally finished, he nodded briskly.

“One last question Remus. Did Lily mention what had become of Voldemort’s body?”

Remus looked at him blankly. “No, she didn’t. I think she was a bit distracted by trying to save James’s life to be honest. I guess it must still be at the house. Possibly under quite a lot of rubble, judging by Lily’s description of the explosion.”

Dumbledore nodded once.

“Very well. That is quite enough information to be getting on with. Thank you Remus.”

“Will you be returning to Hogwarts now?” Remus asked, almost hopefully - he was so sleepy.

“Presently” replied Dumbledore “However, first I think it would be wise to collect Voldemort’s body. I will ask Minerva to assist me, on the of-chance that the Potters receive any more unexpected guests.” Remus nodded. Who knew how many Death Eaters the scumbag Pettigrew had told.

“On the topic of company” Dumbledore continued “I think it would be prudent to have another Order member stay with you and Harry tonight, at the very least until either Sirius or Lily are able to return. With that in mind, I have asked Sturgis Podmore to report to this flat as soon as he is able.”

Remus groaned. Podmore wasn’t exactly scintillating company at the best of times and the thought of spending a full night with him was unappealing to say the least. “Is that really necessary? After all, I’m here and the flat is well warded.”

“As was the Potter’s house at Godric’s Hollow. I flatter myself, it may have been even better warded than here” Dumbledore replied, mildly. “I trust you are aware of Voldemort’s interest in the boy?”

Remus was well aware that Voldemort knew of, and believed, the bewildering prophecy that predicted little Harry would be the one to defeat the Dark Lord - this was why the Potters had gone into hiding in the first place. However, Remus refrained from pointing out that a more accurate prophecy might have warned Voldemort against crossing stroppy muggleborn red-headed mothers. Instead he replied evenly

“You think that the Death Eaters will still be interested in the prophecy given the, err... current situation?”

“I think it would be unwise to assume otherwise”.

Remus pulled a face. “Very well. Company for me it is then. Do you know when Podmore is likely to arrive?”

“Shortly, I expect. I will wait here with you until he does.” With that Dumbledore sank gracefully down on to the settee.

“Remus” he said, eyes suddenly alight with something like a wild joy “unless I am very much mistaken, I believe we may have finally won.” Remus stared at Dumbledore speechless. He had been so focused on James, that the full impact of what had happened to Voldemort and the effect this would have on the war they were fighting had escaped him.

“You don’t think the Death Eaters will just re-group under a different leader?” He said hesitantly, after a moment’s contemplation.

“Possibly. But somehow I think not. The Death Eaters have never had a clear second-in-command, Voldemort would not have allowed it. However, we shall soon see.”

Remus didn’t have a reply to that. Could it be that after years of grim battle, with the odds against them ever increasing and their colleges in arms ever diminishing, that the war had finally been won tonight? As glorious as the thought was, it made his head spin. What would a world without war look like? It had been so long that Remus didn’t even know if he remembered.

“I guess we will” he replied finally, nodding slowly into space.


	2. St Mungos

Lily perched on the edge of a visitor’s chair in James’s ward at St Mungos, bouncing a grouchy Harry on her lap. Neither of them had managed much sleep the night before - although Harry had slept more than Lily had. She and Sirius had been at the hospital until James had stabilised, around four in the morning. One of the other Order members - an off-duty nurse - had relieved them after that, promising to wait with James until morning visiting hours. They had got back to the flat to find Remus asleep in an armchair with Harry curled up on his lap, and Sturgis Podmore smoking like a chimney in the kitchen. Lily was glad to see that Remus had banished Podmore from the living room - she didn’t want her son to breathing that muck. Lily and Harry had ended up sleeping in the double bed with Sirius, after a short but heated conversation which Lily had lost (“For God’s sake Lily, do you know how many times James and I have shared a bed - and I’m hardly going to grope you”). Remus had moved from the armchair to the settee. Apparently, he and Sirius still weren’t talking - the stupid gits. Lily was supposed to have had a sleep in, but she couldn’t settle, so had joined Remus when he headed into St Mungos around eight. Even at that early hour the news of Voldemort’s death had spread - they had nearly been mugged by a number of over-excited medi-wizards as they arrived. All of them wanted to hug and congratulate Lily - though how they knew of her role in Voldemort’s demise was anyone’s guess.

The ward was quiet this early in the morning. There were four other patients in the same room as James, but they seemed to all be still asleep, white curtains drawn protectively around their old-fashioned brass beds. Hospitals made Lily uneasy. They reminded her of sitting in muggle wards at her parents’ death beds, while she watched the strong, vibrant people she loved slowly fade. At least St Mungo’s smelt better than NHS hospitals, she thought, a mix of sage and lavender with a hint of lemon, as opposed to the omnipresent reek of muggle disinfectant and boiled bed-linen. And this was a different kind of hospital visit, Lily reminded herself sternly. James wasn’t going to die. The medi-witch she had spoken to this morning had said that James had made outstanding progress during the night. He had even regained consciousness and had been asking after her. Lily was going to be allowed to talk to him in a minute - right after the on-duty healer had finished her morning checks. Lily couldn’t wait.

James’s healer twitched back the bed curtain and beamed at Lily, who was already on her feet, Harry perched on her left hip. The blue-clad woman moved briskly across the room and, to Lily’s great surprise, grasped Lily’s free hand in both of her own. She had an olive complexion, soft wavy brown hair and kind eyes.  “My husband was muggle-born” she said to Lily conspiratorially “he was killed by Death Eaters in a targeted attack on his work-place last year”.

Lily flinched, “Oh, I am so sorry…”

The healer raised a hand, stopping her mid-sentence. “I’m so glad it was you who got He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in the end” she said “it will mean so much to my daughter that a muggle-born defeated him. She’s going to Hogwarts next year - you know how some of the students are about half-bloods…”

Lily nodded mutely. She certainly did. The healer hugged her and then said, looking slightly embarrassed “I wouldn’t be able to get your autograph, would I? For my Emi?”

“Oh, yes, certainly” said Lily, very taken aback. The healer produced a quill and scrap of parchment, which Lily signed, blushing.

“Thank you” she said “I better let you visit your husband. He’s looking much better this morning. You should be able to take him home before too long”.

Lily hurried towards James’s bed. True to her word, Abigail Abbott (their fellow Order member and off-duty nurse) was still with him. She stood as Lily approached. “I’ll be off now” she said brightly and then, before Lily could respond she grasped her by the shoulder and said far more quietly “you brave, cleaver, magnificent woman.”

“I just did what any of us would have” said Lily. Abi shook her head knowingly and gave her a quick, one armed hug. “See you in a bit. Hopefully out of hospital” she said with a wink “I have a feeling there will be a few celebrations over the next couple of days, what with one thing or another…” Abi chortled.

Lily finally managed to reach James’s bedside. He was awake and grinning, glasses lopsided, hair even more of a tousled mess than usual, with a thin cotton hospital blanket wrapped around his scrawny frame. He had never looked more stunningly handsome. Lily stooped over James, kissing his cheek. “Hello darling” she said softly. James reached up and turned her chin, kissing her full on the lips. The lent together, faces close.

“Hello my gorgeous, brave, amazingly wonderful wife.”

“More like your exhausted, anxious and ungracefully frazzled wife” said Lily leaning back into her chair, smiling tiredly.

“Well, I would hate to think you could manage to save both mine and Harry’s life, and finish off the most evil wizard in Britain to boot, and not even raise a sweat” said James earnestly “because that kind of superhuman ability would be frankly terrifying. I’m going to have enough trouble trying to live down being married to the saviour of the wizarding world as it is”.  

“Don’t you start” said Lily “do you know how many people I had to fend off this morning on my way here? I hate to think what it’s going to be like over the next few days - I think I might have to go into hiding”.

James laughed “You’ll cope. You never know, fame might grow on you.” Lily snorted sceptically and rearranged her grip on Harry who was trying quite hard to worm his way out of her arms. Unfortunately, he was alarmingly good at evading restraint and took the opportunity of his mother’s movements to wiggle free.

“Da!” said Harry enthusiastically, making a valiant attempt to climb onto the bed.

“And how is my beautiful boy!” said James, grinning at Harry.

“Oi you” said Lily, grabbing her son “you can’t climb on your father. He’s sick.”

“Oh, let him up” said James wistfully “I’d love a cuddle”.

“And what will the healers say when they discover I’ve let my one-year-old romp all over my half-dead husband?”

“That I’m looking much improved from having spent some quality time with my son” James pleaded.  

Lily laughed.

“Oh, alright. But if he’s rough, he’s coming straight back down”. She lifted Harry gently onto the bed next to James. Harry chortled and tried to grab his father’s glasses. James dodged, pulled his son in for a quick hug, before removing his glasses so an excited Harry could try them on. Harry was burbling a story to James in baby-ese, but Lily could only make out one or two words - “foo” and “cilrem” seemed to feature prominently.

“Did you and mummy come by the floo?” James prompted.

“Ba-foo” confirmed Harry. “Ba-foo mnpl cilrem”

“That’s right” said Lily, with a flash of comprehension “We came by the floo with Uncle Remus, didn’t we love?”

“Cilrem” said Harry happily. “Cilrem, Cilris, Cilbee” he pattered.

“Uncle Remus, Uncle Sirius and _Aunty_ Abi” Lily corrected.

“Cilbee” said Harry adamantly, as though the idea of having an Aunty anyone was completely absurd.

Lily laughed. “OK darling. But only Uncle Remus came with us by floo. Uncle Sirius is sleeping, and Aunty Abi’s gone home.”

“Moony’s here?” asked James quickly.

“Yeh, he is” Lily replied “He’s just gone to fetch us tea from the cafe. We both thought we could do with a little fortifying after how little either of us slept last night.” Lily glanced up towards the door “Speak of the devil...”

“And he shall appear” finished Remus, walking into the ward and flashed the three of them a quick smile. “No wonder I could feel my ears burning” continued Remus, as he walked towards them carrying two gigantic glazed-ceramic mugs.

“Where’s mine?” said James, in mock-wounded tones.

“Oh no you don’t” cut in Lily “if you want hot beverages you’ll have to petition the nurses. Besides, our need is greater than yours. We were awake half the night. You, on the other hand were completely out for the count. I know. I was there.”

“Very true” said Remus “we spent the night worried sick about you fighting for your life. You, on the other hand were merely doing the fighting and - as Lily says - were also completely unconscious. It hardly warrants the same level of sympathy.”

“Touché” said James grinning “I guess I’ll just have to wait for the hospital tea trolley then”.

“Quite right” said Remus, with a smile that barely twitched the corners of his mouth, but made his eyes brighten and sparkle. He handed James his cup. James took a mouthful.

“How are you Prongs?” said Remus, pulling a second chair up next to Lily’s.

“Much better, thanks to everyone’s ministrations” said James handing Remus back the rest of his tea “although apparently the rebounded curse did dire things to my circulation. Attacked the artery walls in some way. If it hadn’t been for Lil and Pads I would have been a goner for sure. As it was, it took a team of healers half the night to repair the damage. I think they gave me nearly every potion known to modern man and a few known only to modern witches. It’s done wonders for my digestion, I can tell you. I confidently predict that I will have upset bowel motions for the next month at least.”

“Pleased to hear you’re keeping us up-to-date with all the vital news.” said Remus dryly “I doubt I could manage to make it through the day, were I ignorant of the state of your bowels”

“I live to serve” said James mimicking Remus’s deadpan tone. “All in all, I’m actually doing very well” he continued “Now my arteries have stopped trying to collapse I’m practically a new man. Unfortunately, the healers find my company so scintillating that they want to keep me in for the next couple of days, on the pretence of making sure there are no complications, but after that I should be free to go. Although, quite where I’m going after that is something Lil and I might have to discuss. Obviously, we won’t be able to go back to Godric’s Hollow.” Lily took his hand, comfortingly

“Don’t worry about that now” she soothed “we’ll work something out”.

James nodded before looking up at Remus “Thanks for putting Lily and Harry up while I’m in here” he said “it’s a real comfort to know they’re with friends”.

Remus winced “I’m afraid your thanks is mis-directed. As much as I would like to take the credit, it’s actually Sirius who has had the pleasure of hosting your family, not me” he said, “I moved back in with my parents a while back.”

James started slightly and gave Remus a concerned frown “So you and Padfoot are still fighting, then?”  

“So it would appear” said Remus, dourly.

“What’s up, Moony?” said James concerned “It’s not like you two lovebirds to have a serious falling out. Brief, pig-headed, passionate and fiery arguments - yes - all the time. But you haven’t gone this long in separate houses since you were, what, 16?”

“15, actually” said Remus, glumly. “We spent almost all of the summer holidays between sixth and seventh year at your place, if you recall.”

“So what’s the argument about?”

“Beats me” said Remus “you’d have to ask Sirius. He’s the one who said he wanted a break.”

“OK” said James seriously “I will”. James looked into space, turning the new information over for a minute, as though trying to work out the solution to a puzzle. Finally, he shook his head slightly,“Don’t worry Moony,” he said gently, “whatever it is, it will work itself out. Sirius can be a tempestuous, irrational git on occasion, but his heart’s in the right place. And he really loves you.”

“Thanks Prongs” said Remus “I hope you’re right”.

James lent over and patted Remus’s knee. “Trust me on this one” he said “from someone who knows you both better than anyone”. Remus gave James a weak smile and nodded.

Just then Harry, who was becoming progressively more bored with adult conversation, decided to leaven the atmosphere by flipping over in the bed and kicking his father lovingly in the nose.

“Ouch!” said James,

“Harry!” scolded Lily,

“Come here, tyke” said Remus, scooping up the fractious boy “how about you and I give your parents some quality time together and see if we can work out how to bewitch one of the portraits in the hallway into singing nursery-rhymes?”

“Cilrem wand!” said Harry. He loved wands.

“Yep.” said Remus “Uncle Remus will need his wand for portrait bewitchment” he carefully retrieved said wand, one-handed, from within the sleeve of his robes “But if you’re going to take part in marauder like skulduggery, you had better start calling me Moony.” He gave James a wink.

“Cilmooy” said Harry eyeing Remus’s wand covetously.

“I guess I can settle for Uncle Moony to start with” conceded Remus, as he and Harry headed for the corridor.

Lily smiled after the pair of them.

“I’ve missed Remus so much” she said.

“Me too,” said James “me too.”

 


	3. Lupin Cottage

Lily was the only one of Remus’s close friends that Mrs Lupin ever really approved of fraternising with her son. Mrs Lupin thought that James and Sirius were a bad influence. You couldn’t blame her really, what with all the pranks, stunts and semi-dangerous bravado both Padfoot and Prongs had been infamous for at school. Not that Remus and Peter had been any better behaved - but they had been quieter and less regularly caught. Mrs Lupin hadn’t minded Remus being friendly with Peter, either, Lily remembered. But Peter didn’t count. Counting Peter would involve thinking about Peter and that would never do. All four of them had spent the last fortnight trying really hard not to think about Wormtail at all, as if by shear collective will they could wish their erstwhile friend into non-existence. Stranger things had happened, thought Lily as she kissed a mostly-asleep James and Harry goodbye.

 

Last night had been the full moon and Lily was going visit Remus at Mr and Mrs Lupin’s place, to see how he was recovering. The boys had spent the night in a remote patch of forest in the South-West of Scotland. Remus had offered to find somewhere safe to transform for the moon alone, as James had been so unwell. As a young man, Remus reminded them, he had usually spent moons alone and only the moon before last he had spent magically confined in his parents’ cellar - he would have been happy to do so again. But Remus hurt himself terribly when he had to transform into a werewolf alone and, after two weeks recovery, James was feeling well enough to spend a night gallivanting around Scotland, magically transformed into a stag, in order to help out a friend. Lily thought he had quite enjoyed it, actually. Even Sirius had come. Although, from what James had said, Sirius had spent less than a few minutes in Remus’s company as a man, preferring to avoid confrontation and conversation altogether by transforming into a dog as soon as they had apparated into the forest. Lily loved Sirius. He was James’s best friend and he had been there for them and always would be there for them, for Lily as well as James, through whatever joy or hardship they faced. But Sirius could also be a complete tosser. Paradoxically, Sirius was quite capable of being both a heroically loyal friend _and_ a complete tosser. The two didn’t negate each other. In fact, both Sirius’s personas appeared to be alarmingly compatible. Which, she supposed, was how he managed to be both completely loving and completely cruel to Moony, with an ease that made Lily feel vaguely sick. After all, Lily also loved Remus.

 

Lily straightening her robes. She had just apparated neatly onto the pavement directly in front of Mr and Mrs Lupin’s small, tidy cottage. It had been so long since she had last been here, but the house looked exactly as it had done nine years ago, the first time she had seen it. Lupin Cottage was a two-story stone building with a slate roof and an immaculately beautiful garden. Unlike many wizarding households, this house could easily have been mistaken for a muggle building when viewed from the outside. Lily had been extremely jealous of Remus for a long time after her first visit during the summer break. It was only the second wizarding home she had ever seen and the first time she had lived any length of time with a wizarding family. Unlike most of her friends from Hogwarts, Remus not only lived in a muggle area but their house was close enough to Lily’s parents that she was able to get there via muggle transport, even though she’d had to catch a coach, so she had been allowed to come and stay. The Lupin’s house was nothing like Hogwarts, it was homely and normal yet also deeply magic. It was the first time Lily had imagined being fully comfortable living as a witch outside of school, she could see her magical and muggle sides complementing each other in a place like this. It was thrilling and Lily had desperately wished her own home was exactly like Lupin Cottage. Even after all this time, she kind of still did.

 

Lily pulled up a chair next to Remus’s bed, all the time assuring Mrs Lupin that she was fine and turning down second helpings of tea, cake and cream scones. Mrs Lupin had insisted on force-feeding her afternoon tea before letting her in to see Moony. Lily hadn’t really minded.

“We must stop meeting like this” Lily said brightly, as Remus wincingly adjusted himself to sit against the head of the bed “or soon hospital visits will be our only social contact”.

Remus chuckled “I hear they’re becoming quite the rage. All the best people meet at sick beds” he replied.

“But we’ve never been the best people” said Lily.

“Speak for yourself!”

Now Lily laughed “Remus Lupin, ever the martyr to the latest fashion” she rolled her eyes - Remus would be caught suffering for fashion about as quickly as James would be caught sitting quiet and sober at a party for more than about five minutes. Remus laughed. He looked awful. His skin was grey, his eyes had huge dark circles under them, and his joints were puffy and red, and they made him wince whenever he moved. Lily had forgotten how sick Remus was after the Moon.

“How are you?” Lily asked gently.

“Never better.”

“Don’t Rem.” said Lily sharply “Stop trying to fob me off with polite bollocks. You look like death.”

“Cheers” said Remus. Lily waited. Remus inspected the ceiling for a minute, thinking.

“It’s been alright” he said finally “I mean,” he continued quickly when Lily frowned “alright for after a Moon. It’s never very pleasant. I’ve got the usual - fatigue, achy joints, muscle spasms, stiffness and so on. But the three of us had a good time last night - I didn’t hurt myself.”

Lily nodded “That’s good” she said before fishing around in her bag for a minute “I’ve got something for you” she continued, retrieving two small brown glass, cork stoppered jars “Sirius asked me to bring them - he says this one helps with the joint pain” she held up the left jar “ and this one is for muscle aches” she nodded towards the right jar.

 “How nice of him” said Remus coolly.

“You mean to send them with me, rather than bringing them himself?” said Lily “He’s being a complete git. What did you expect?”

“You can say that again” said Remus.

“Don’t worry. I will” said Lily darkly “You know, I’m pretty sure all this is because he feels guilty.”

Remus looked at her quizzically “What’s he feeling guilty about?”

“No idea. James talked to him about it - they had an enormous argument actually, reading between the lines. But whatever it is he must have sworn James to secrecy because James won’t tell me anything. You know what the two of them are like…”

Remus nodded. No one knew better.  

“However, I can make a shrewd guess as to the general theme, even if I don’t know the details” Lily continued “My guess is that it’s to do with whatever it was you argued about just before we went into hiding. Yes, I know you argued. It’s always bloody obvious when you two have had a spat. Anyway, my guess is that Sirius was in the wrong about something fairly big and he knows it. He can’t talk to you about the fight without apologizing for being in the wrong...”

“So he’s avoiding me so he can put off having to apologize.”

“Yeh, well it would fit.” Lily concluded.

Remus groaned and put his head in his hands.

“I told you he was being a git” said Lily, brightly.

“Remind me why I ever dated that idiot” mumbled Remus.

“Because you fancied the pants off him. Or at least, so I’m told…” said Lily, slyly.

“It’s all a vicious rumour.”

“You keep telling yourself that, sweat heart” said Lily, patting Remus’s shoulder.

“You know the one thing that doesn’t fit though,” said Remus after a while “is the fight. We fought about Aelia Prince.”

“You fought about Sirius’s fighting partner?” said Lily.

“Yes, you know that after the incident with the McKinnons we had our suspicions that Prince was a spy.”

Lily nodded. She had James had thought so, too. The Order had responded to a distress call from the McKinnons about six months earlier only to find the entire family dead. The Order members called to the scene had then been ambushed there by Death Eaters. The house had been fully warded so who ever had broken in would have needed insider information. Prince had been dating Marlene McKinnon and had disappeared with one of the Death Eaters. Most had assumed Prince had been the informant.

“Well,” Remus continued “Sirius was sure that Prince was innocent. We fought about it several times, but the worst was not long after your family went into hiding. I was so cross with Sirius, I told him that he was being naive, that he wasn’t prepared to doubt Prince just because he liked her. Then I asked him how much he had told her about you and James.” Lily flinched. “So you basically accused him of passing information about us to a spy?” she said.

Remus ran his fingers through his hair “It gets worse” he said “as you can imagine, Sirius was furious. Asked me if I was accusing him of betraying his friends. I said I never thought he would knowingly do so, but he had a habit of being quite loose lipped with people he slept with. That’s when he ordered me out of the flat.”

“Oh Rem” Lily moved close to her friend, taking his hand “you thought Sirius was cheating on you with Aelia? But… I mean, well… she’s a woman and Sirius has never seemed particularly interested in women…”

“I know. He never really has - and none of us had more opportunity…”

Lily laughed despite herself - Sirius, wealthy, famous, clever and very handsome, had been viewed as something of a heart-throb with many of the witches at school.

“But there was something different about Prince” Remus continued “She and Sirius were so close.”

“Fighting pairs tend to be” said Lily, reasonably.

“True, but even so. She was closer to Sirius that I’ve seen him with anyone outside of you and the marauders. And we’re family. After the McKinnons’ murders Sirius changed. I thought it was shock and grief at first, but somehow it was more complicated than that. He became distant, almost avoiding me, and sometimes he would come home after telling me he had been on a mission and I could have sworn he smelled of her…”

“Do you still think they were together?” asked Lily.

“No, I don’t. I was being a paranoid, jealous git. If Sirius had been cheating on me, he would have told me when I asked him - not thrown me out.” Lily nodded - it was true. Sirius was honest to a fault.

“And that” said Remus “is why Sirius still not talking to me doesn’t make any sense.”

“How so?”

“Because it wasn’t him who was wrong about any of this - I was. Peter was the spy and, as far as I know, Sirius wasn’t having an affair…” Remus had turned his face away, trying to hide the tears that had welled in the corner of his eyes.

“... and Sirius copes with other people being wrong quite well” Lily finished for him, gently.

“Hmm... Well if you can call teasing the other person mercilessly and expecting them to eat umbel pie for all time coping well…” said Remus raising one eyebrow and giving Lily a wobbly smile.

Lily snorted.

“But yes,” he continued “Sirius isn’t one to hold a grudge against a friend, so long as everyone is very clear that he was the one in the right.”

“Well,” Lily said “whatever happened, I’m sure it will blow over eventually. You two were meant for each other.”

“You think?”

“I know” said Lily. Remus squeezed her hand.

 

Lily unstopped the jar that contained the joint-salve. Remus had finally regained his composure and they needed a change in conversation. “Give me your hand” she said to Remus “I’ll rub some of this into your joints for you.”

“You don’t need to do that. I can manage” said Remus, embarrassed.

“Rem, I want to. I hate seeing my friends in pain. Please let me.”

Remus gave her a long look, then nodded. Lily picked up his hand, spreading ointment across the knuckles, down each finger and along the upper part of the palm, where the crease of his fingers met the spread of his hand. Lily massaged each joint in careful, gentle circles. Remus closed his eyes. Lily could almost feel him relaxing a little, letting go. She smiled. Lily worked like this for some time, the two friends sitting in companionable silence.

“James is talking about us possibly moving into his parents old house” said Lily, eventually.

“How do you feel about that?” Remus asked, eyes still closed.

“Worried.”

“How so?”

“Well,” Lily thought for a minute “I guess I’m worried about how James will cope. He hasn’t been back to the house since his parents died.” Mr and Mrs Potter had been killed by Death Eaters not long after James and Lily’s wedding. James had been understandably distraught. Lily hadn’t really known her in-laws that well, but she knew they had been extremely loving parents to James. Their house was full of his memories of them.

“I guess it’s something he always had to face eventually” said Remus.

“True. But cleaning up your parents’ house is different from moving back in”.

“True, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that it is significantly more traumatic.”

“Maybe not” Lily hadn’t thought of it like that. She was quiet for a minute.

“But James isn’t the only thing you’re worried about, is it Lil?”

“Damn your sharp, Rem” said Lily with half a smile “I’ve been trying to convince myself that it _is_ the only reason. But I guess if I’m being honest it’s not.”

Remus gave Lily a knowing grin.

“Do spill” he said.

“Well, I haven’t really got it completely straight in my own head yet” said Lily “but I think it worries me slightly that it’s James’s house, not our home.”

“You feel like your opinion won’t count as much as James’s. That you’ll lose some control over your living environment?”

“Yeh, I guess. Like I would be living as a guest in the Potter’s family home. Is that stupid of me?”

“No, it’s not. It’s understandable. But James would also hate you to feel like that - have you told him?”

“No, not yet. But you’re right, I should talk to him about it.” Lily was quiet for a moment “I think it’s more than just that though” she continued “I think it’s the idea of moving full stop that frightens me”.

“Is Padfoot that good a host?”

“Hardly” Lily laughed “I mean, he is an excellent host. But the flat’s small and it’s crowded with the four of us and it’s difficult to stop Harry getting into everything.”

“Such as?” Remus looked amused.

“You have no idea” said Lily “I caught him in the booze cupboard yesterday.”

“The one to the right of the sink?”

“The very same.” said Lily “He had just extracted a rather large and expensive bottle of firewhisky. I hate to think what he would have done with it if left to his own devices”.

“The little alcy” Remus was properly laughing now “mind you, with the father and godfather he’s got...” he dissolved into helpless giggles. Lily rolled her eyes, smiling indulgently.

 “So even at the risk of Harry’s sobriety, you’re still worried about leaving” said Remus eventually, wiping his eyes on the corner of his shirt.

“Yeh, I kind of am. I think…. It’s crazy but…” Lily looked away.

“Go on” said Remus gently “I can cope with crazy.”

“I think that moving out of the flat will mean I finally have to confront the fact we’re not moving back to Godric’s Hollow” said Lily steadily “and the reasons why we're not moving back.”

“I guess you don’t just mean the huge hole in the wall there” said Remus.

“No, I don’t” Lily's eyes were sparkling with unshed tears “I have nightmares” she continued quietly “I have nightmares of what might have happened if I hadn’t… if we hadn’t…” she was properly crying now. Remus sat up in bed and indicated that Lily should sit next to him. Lily did and Remus wound an arm around her.

“I was so happy, when I killed him” said Lily “all I could think about was how I was stopping him from hurting James and Harry.”

Remus rubbed her back.

“It feels so wrong to have felt happy about killing someone. Even…” Lily paused

“Even Voldemort” finished Remus.

“Yeh, even Voldemort. Like I should have felt bad about it. Like I should _feel_ bad about it…”

“You did what you had to do” said Remus gently “killing him was the only way to stop him. You couldn’t have captured him, he was too strong. And if you hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed you and James and Harry. It was self-defence.”

“I know, but…”

“But nothing. You’re allowed to feel happy about saving your son and husband. He never would have felt bad for a second about killing you.”

“But doesn’t that make me as bad as him?”

“Oh Lily” Remus hugged her “No. Not ever. You don’t have it in you to be as bad as…” Remus paused, searching for the right words. Finally, he said “You’re not evil for having killed him Lily, not evil for not feeling bad about it. You’re just human.”

“Rem?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you help us to move to Potter Manor?”

“Naturally. I was always intending to help you move, where ever you moved to.”

“I mean, would you mind saying with us for a bit when we first move in?” Lily looked at him searchingly “You don’t have to if you don’t want. If you would rather stay with your parents… It’s just I think it would be easier if I had someone else with me who hadn’t grown up in the place…”

Remus smiled at her protectively “I think my parents could probably manage without my grumpy presence for a week or so.” Lily hugged him.

“Thanks” she said.

 


	4. Potter Hotel

One week later Remus was standing in the kitchens at Potter Manor trying to work out if the steak he was cooking was medium or rare. As he liked his mostly raw, this wasn’t usually a problem he had to contend with. James had joking-not-jokingly banished Lily from the kitchens after she had her first (and only) major meltdown of the day. The kitchens were set up to be used by house elves and didn’t have anything that even remotely resembled the muggle-style appliances Lily was used to. A glorified potions lab without even an oven, he believed had been Lily’s exact turn of phrase. It wasn’t quite true, there was a wood burner fired oven. However, both men were wise enough not to challenge Lily when she had worked up a head of steam and, with discretion being the better part of valour, Remus and James were cooking dinner while Lily went to pick up Harry from the Tonks’s place where he was being baby-sat until they could make at least part of the house child-friendly. Apart from the kitchen debacle, the first day of the Potter’s move had gone remarkably smoothly. Potter Manor was a converted Victorian muggle farm-house that the Potters and bought and done up sometime in the mid-to-late 1800’s. The inside of the house had been magically expanded and included ten bedrooms, a dining room, drawing room, study, laundry, cellar and a huge kitchen. What had been a muggle family chapel had been converted into a small ballroom for parties, and the old stables now served as a small owlery, a workshop/broom storage area and a domestic potions lab. As Mr and Mrs Potter had mostly lived at Order headquarters during the war, Lily had never actually seen the family estate before today. She had coped very well with how enormous and distinctly magical the house was, although she had dubbed the Manor ‘Potter Hotel’, much to James’s hilarity and general approval - his parents had always loved a house-full of guests. James was also coping very well with returning to his family home. Although he had decided not to go into the three family bedrooms that had belonged to his parents, Sirius and himself until later, as they were particularly painful. However, the advantage of living in a house the size of a small hotel was that there were plenty of other rooms to choose from, some of which even didn’t have doxie infestations (always a plus). So far, they had tidied up two bedrooms, the drawing room and the kitchen, which meant there was living and sleeping space for everyone. Eventually Harry would need a room, too. But for now he was going to sleep in a cot in James and Lily’s room - both parents were feeling particularly protective after the attack and neither really wanted to sleep in a separate room from their son.  

“How’s the meat going?” asked James, from over the top of the pot of potatoes he was attempting to mash.

“I think it’s done.”

“Excellent. I’ll set the table then.” James beamed. The sound of Lily playing some kind of hide-and-seek game with Harry filtered through from the direction of the drawing room. Remus had an overwhelming sense of being fully at home. Contented.

“Shall I go tell Lily she’s allowed back in then?” he said to James, who was setting one end of the large table in the corner of the kitchen.

“I suppose you had better” said James “I think banning her from dinner would be ill advised… although it would mean more for us” he said with a wink.

 

“So what are your plans now that you’re officially out of hiding?” Remus asked James. It was a while after dinner and the men had decided to start a game of crib while Lily put Harry to bed. James shuffled the cards for a minute before answering Remus’s question

“Well, obviously we have to get this place in order first. But when that’s done Lil’s talking about studying again part time, to complete her Auror training.”

Remus laughed “I would have thought she’d have had enough of dark witches and wizards for one lifetime.”

James winced.

“Tell me about it. I wish she would reconsider and choose a safer career to be honest” he confessed.

“What, the mighty Prongs is advising his wife not to take risks?” said Remus with a wicked grin “I never thought I would see the day.”

James aimed a kick at his friend around the side of the coffee table.

“Oi” said Remus, dodging.

“You know very well that _Lily_ taking risks is way scarier than _me_ taking them” said James.

“I bet Lily just loves that” said Remus, raising his eyebrows “She gets to stay out of harm's way while you have all the fun - that conversation must have gone down well. I’m quite surprised I can’t see the marks.”

“Yeh, well” said James rubbing his nose “that would be because we haven’t had it. And we won’t either - so don’t you dare tell her, Moony.”

“Or what?”

“Or I will set a tickling hex on you so bad your eyes will water for a month.”

“Might be worth it…” Remus dodged another kick “I’m kidding Prongs. Your secret is safe with me. At least until I can think of a good enough bribe to blackmail you with…”

“Tosser.”

“Nothing you wouldn’t do for me, my old friend” said Remus with a grin.

James finished dealing and picked up his cards.

“So,” Remus continued “How about you Prongs? Are you settling down for a life of leisure or do you have work planned as well?”

“Nothing definite planned as yet” said James “but I’m sure something will come up. You know me, I’ve got to have something on the go - I hate leisure.”

Remus laughed.

“So how about you, Moony?” James asked, “What are you planning on doing with your time now you’re not as busy saving the wizarding world as you once were?”

“Not sure” said Remus “but I have been thinking of approaching Gringotts about the possibility of working as a curse breaker. I picked up quite a bit of experience during the war and goblins can be more open-minded about my personal health issues than many wizards.”

“They’d be mad not to have you” said James.

“Thanks Prongs” said Remus “but unfortunately there’s a lot of madness out there. That said, the main concern I have about asking at Gringotts isn’t being turned down - that can happen to anyone - it’s that they might employ me but require that I work outside of the UK.”

“Why’s that?” said James “I mean, we’d miss you, but it would be kind of fun to travel. Curse breakers get to go to some pretty amazing countries.”

“I kind of had a few things I want to do here, that was all.” Remus replied.

“Is it about Sirius?” Said James, gently.

“No” said Remus “well, at least, not entirely. During the war I…”

Remus stopped talking abruptly, whipping around to face the hearth, where the flames had just turned bright green. Someone was arriving by floo. As one, Remus and James reached for their wands as a spinning figure appeared in the flames before tumbling onto the drawing room hearth rug. There, kneeling in front of them, hair rumpled and face white as death, was Sirius Black.


	5. An Important Disclosure

“Padfoot!”

James was at Sirius’s side in a couple of bounds, his wand still half-heartedly trained on his friend’s sprawled out figure. Sirius looked awful. His clothing was muddy and ripped and one side of his face was bruised and bleeding. He also appeared to have hurt his leg, because instead of standing after his tumble from the health he merely rolled over and looked up at his friends.

“Sirius” said James “what was the first prank we pulled together at Hogwarts?”

But Sirius ignored him, instead he looked over to where Remus stood, frozen on the spot.

“Moony,” he said, “please don’t go.”

Remus was white and his wand-hand trembled.

“Please” said Sirius “Don’t go. I have something to tell…”

“Answer James!” said Remus with quiet urgency. Sirius looked like he was going to object, but Remus raised a hand.

“It’s OK. I’m staying. But for the love of all goodness Sirius, answer James’s question - we need to know you’re really you.”

“First prank Pads” prompted James “at school together. What was it?”

Sirius looked up, as if noticing James for the first time.

“Mary McDonald’s hat.” he said at last “we charmed it to turn her hair green. It was quite childish though, definitely not one of our best.”

“True” James had lowered his wand and was crouching beside his friend “but even so it did take her two days to work out why the counter-charm she was using to fix her hair-colour wouldn’t take. And she looked very dashing in green...”

“Sirius!” Lily had just walked into the room “what the hell happened?!”

“I apparated a bit too close to a group of skinheads near my flat in London. They objected to the length of my hair and my dashing demeanour. At least I think so. Although possibly it was merely that I was alive, and they were board. It was a bit tricky shaking them off without using magic - but I managed. I should have cleaned myself up before taking the floo here I suppose, but I was in a hurry.”

Lily and James helped him off the floor and onto the sofa. James healed the bruising on Sirius’s face with a flick of his wand. He made to investigate the injury to Sirius’s leg as well, but Sirius waved him away.

“Later Prongs” Sirius said, “after I’ve said what I came here to say.”

James sat down reluctantly and motioned for Sirius to begin.

“Remus, I'm so sorry. I really wanted to tell you this a long time ago, but I couldn’t because of the unbreakable vow I made to Acanthis.”

“You _what_!?” Remus was perched on the furthest-away armchair looking like he was fighting between the urge to smack Sirius and the equally strong desire to throw up on the carpet.

“Who the hell is Acanthis and what kind of idiocy possessed you to make an unbreakable vow?” he said.

“Acanthis is Aelia’s younger sister” said Sirius “and I made an unbreakable vow so that she would trust me. It’s a long story.”

“Sirius” Remus’s face was as pale as the knuckles on his clenched fists “aren’t Aelia Prince’s family all either blood purists at best or Death Eaters at worst?”

“Ahh, yes. As a matter of fact, that is true” said Sirius looking shifty “and that’s actually why Acanthis didn’t trust me, her being an ex-Death Eater and all.”

“An ex- _what_ ” spat Remus “I’m sorry, but are you telling us that risked your life making a vow that would kill you if you broke it, so that someone who had sworn allegiance to _Voldemort_ would trust you?”

“It only sounds mad if you say it like that though” said Sirius in what he clearly hoped were reasonable tones “there were really good reasons for wanting her to trust me. But like I said, it’s a long story.”

“Well hurry up and spit it out then” said Remus “...and Sirius, this better be fucking good.”

“It all started with the McKinnons” Sirius began “Aelia and I had headed over to their place so she could see Marlene before we started our shift. Marlene had left something in Aelia’s flat - I forget what exactly - and Aelia wanted to return it. It was hardly the first time, Marlene left things behind at Aelia’s a lot. Typical absent-minded horny lovebirds the pair of them. Mind you, I guess it must have been tricky for them with Marlene still living with her parents. So we both rock up to the place, but when we arrived the house was weirdly quiet. I remember it sounded strange, a muffled quiet, like you get sometimes after heavy snow - but we still didn’t click. It wasn’t until we reached the house and…” Sirius tailed off, stumbling for the right words to describe something horrific.

“You found the McKinnon’s had been murdered” said James gently. Sirius nodded “Yeh... they had been… ah well, um... the who family were dead… and…” Sirius swallowed and blinked a couple of times “...and it was pretty grim. Aelia coped really well, considering who had been killed and the… ah, state... the bodies were in… she and I both sent Patronuses with messages to the Order and to anyone we were worried might stumble over the scene - you know, friends and family and so on. We were about to check the rest of the house when the whole place started cracking, at least 15 Death Eaters must have apparate into the area around the house. Aelia and I stunned four or five of them strait off. I was running for cover, and to gain a better vantage point for fighting, when I realised Aelia wasn’t with me. Instead she’s stopped stone still right in the middle of everything, staring at one of the the Death Eater’s we’d stunned. Their mask had slipped slightly when they fell and Aelia was staring at the little bit she could see of this Death-Eater’s face. I yell at her to get a move on, the other Death Eaters were coming for us and we had to fight, but all she does is run to the stunned Death-Eater with the slipped mask, grabs onto their arm and apparates away. That must have been about the time you three arrived, because right after that one of the bastards set up an anti-apparition ward over the whole area. As you know, I didn’t have time to think about anything after that - the four of us were too busy trying not to die while we waited for backup - but the next day I couldn’t stop thinking about the moments just before Aelia disaparated. The way she had looked just before she fled, like something had shocked her, like she had suddenly understood something and knew she had to make a choice. Don’t get me wrong - I was very angry with her, but still I couldn’t believe she had betrayed me in that moment. Everyone thought Aelia was the spy who had betrayed the McKinnons, even Dumbledore, but there was something about the whole thing that felt wrong. But if Aelia hadn’t betrayed the McKinnons, why did she leave? I couldn’t work it out, it made so little sense. And then I remembered Regulus.”

James gave Sirius a quizzical look “I thought your brother died, Pads?”

“Yeh, he did” said Sirius “Stupid git” he added. “Because Aelia isn’t the only Order member who has Blood Purist family at best and Death Eater family at worst, is she? I also have that dubious honour. Turns out I’m also not the only one who had a misguided younger sibling.  Aelia had sixteen-year-old little sister, who she suspected of having been pressured into joining Voldemort. It occurred to me that if Aelia’s sister had been the Death Eater she disappeared with, it might explain a lot. It also occurred to me that if Aelia _had_ kidnapped her sister, they both were in quite a lot of trouble. Voldemort isn’t known to take kindly to his Death Eaters disappearing in action, whatever the reason, and as most of the Order believed that Aelia had betrayed the McKinnon’s she could hardly rock up to headquarters and ask for help - even if the person she wanted help for wasn’t a known Death Eater. So, if I was right, it meant that Aelia and her sister were in hiding, trying to avoid being discovered by both the Order and the Death Eaters. Not an enviable position.

However, all I was going on was a hunch and even though I was pretty sure I was right, I didn’t want to suggest my theory to anyone without proof. I thought that most of the Order would assume I was making excuses for Aelia out of loyalty for my ex fighting partner, because I couldn’t accept she was a spy. Even Remus seemed to think I had her wrong.”

“Padfoot, I’m sorry…” Sirius cut short Remus’s apology with a curt gesture.

“It’s OK Moony - I understand. Believe me, I have more far more to be ashamed of than you do.”

Remus gave Sirius a quizzical look, but he let his friend continue. _  
_ “I started to think carefully of any places Aelia had mentioned that could possibly be used as a hideout. When you’re stuck on lookout duty with someone for twelve hours at a stretch you get to know them quite well - boredom is a wonderful conversation lubricant - so I managed to come up with plenty of potential places. It must have been about the sixteenth site I investigated before I found anything, though. Even then, it wasn’t much - just a deserted camping fire and a flat area where two people could have slept. But the ground around the old fire pit smelled like Aelia. Not just her either, another person has also been there, a person with a similar scent, as though the two were related. I can only smell people like this while I’m a dog - as a man I wouldn’t have noticed. I couldn’t use the site as proof without admitting to being an illegal animagus, but I was now sure that I had been right, for whatever reason Aelia was in hiding with one of her family. I wanted to talk to Moony. Remus has an acutely accurate, wolfy sense of smell all the time - I thought if I could take him to the campsite, we might be able to work out more about Aelia’s visit there. I was about to head back to our flat when I remembered something Aelia had said about a holiday to Summerset she had been on in her teens. The place she described was almost identical to the one I had found the camp site in; it was near the ocean with access to woodland and to caves for shelter. I thought it couldn’t hurt to check out the place before I went home, just on the off-chance there was another deserted camp site. I apparated as close to the place as I could and started checking the shore-line for sheltered, hidden away places good for camping. Then a stunning hex came out of nowhere and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back on a sandy floor, quite near a small campfire, with my hands and feet magically bound. Someone had also cast a disorientation hex on me and I had no idea where I was.

Aelia was in hiding with her sister, and it was the pair of them who had stunned me. I had been right to think that the Death Eater she escaped with was her sister. Neither of them had any interest in hurting me though, just a keen desire not to be found by anyone from the Order. Acanthis had been forced to join the Death Eaters and had no particular loyalty to them. Aelia was trying to help her escape to France. It’s easy enough to apparate into France if you’re close enough to the Channel, but Acanthis still would have needed to stay in hiding. Voldemort hasn’t got the strength in France that he has in the UK, but he has enough supporters there that it wouldn’t be safe otherwise. Neither Aelia or Acanthis knew anyone in France and neither of them speak French, so formulating an escape plan was proving tricky. Aelia asked me if I would sound out Dumbledore to see if he would do a deal - Acanthis could give Dumbledore information about the Death Eater’s organisation, if in exchange he would help her go into hiding in France. But Acanthis was having none of it, saying that she didn’t trust me. She wanted to oblivorate me and keep trying to work out a plan on their own. So I offered to make an unbreakable vow. I promised that I would speak to Dumbledore on their behalf and that I would not tell any other person, without their permission, until Acanthis managed to move safely to France.

“So Acanthis is in France now?” asked James.

“Yes, she is. When I explained the situation to Dumbledore, he managed to find them a safe house.”

“As fascinating as this is” said Remus, rubbing the point on his forehead just above the bridge of his nose “I don’t see why you needed to tell us this so urgently that you couldn’t wait to patch yourself up after being assaulted by a pack of skinheads”.

“True” said Sirius his face pale and drawn “but I’m not ashamed of what I’ve told you so far.” Sirius avoided looking his estranged-partner in the eye as he continued “Acanthis also told me the information she knew about Voldemort and it caused me to make a few very unfortunate mistakes. I felt I should let you know as soon as I could.”

The three friends stared tensely at him, their fear palpable.

“As I said before, it all comes back to the McKinnons in the end” Sirius continued “We all got it so wrong. We thought an Order member had betrayed Marlene’s family, but it was her six-year-old sister Alice instead. The Death Eaters put her under the imperius curse so she would pass on information, then they killed her with the rest of her family to cover their tracks. Despicable, but extremely efficient.” Sirius gave a hollow laugh and rubbed his eyes “Do you remember how long after the McKinnon’s murder it was before Dumbledore told you both that there was a spy?”

“About a week” said James “I remember that he mentioned that the McKinnons had possibly betrayed by the same person who was watching us - we were supposed to be meeting Marlene for a job that evening. That’s why we were able to respond so quickly to your call”.

Sirius nodded “The night before Dumbledore told us your family was in danger was the night I spoke to Aelia and Acanthis. When you told me about the spy, it occurred to me that perhaps Alice wasn’t the only one who was betraying people she loved because she was under the influence of an imperius curse” Sirius looked Remus full in the face for the first time since starting his story “Remus” he said “I’m so, so very sorry…”

“You thought….” Remus had gone from pale to a sick-white,

“That you were imperiused…” said Sirius, gently.

“And a spy” spat Remus.

“I was a fool, Rem” said Sirius “but even as a fool, I knew you wouldn’t spy on your friends from your own volition.”

“Well, that explains a lot” said Remus, his anger icily restrained “like how you stopped talking to me about anything important…”

“Moony” Sirius flinched.

“And why you smelled of Aelia,”

“Moony, you know we never... she’s just a friend...”

“ _And_ why you switched to Peter as secret keeper without telling me. Pity you couldn’t spot a real spy isn’t it. Too sure it was your werewolf boyfriend…”

“ _Moony_!”

“Don’t you dare ‘Moony’ me!” Remus was quietly, smokingly, terrifyingly furious “I can’t believe you Black. Not only do you have the temerity to suspect me of being so dunder-headed as to allow myself to be imperiused, like a _six-year-old girl_ , but you also have the gall to come and tell me so.” Remus stood “I’m sorry Lily” he said coolly “but you and James will need to sort out your domestic affairs without me for a while” he turned to go.

“Remus, I still loved you” Sirius looked desperate “I always loved you, even with the fighting. Even when I was afraid you had been cursed.”

“Funny way you have of showing it, then.”

Remus gave Sirius an appraising, but unimpressed, look before turning on his heal and leaving the building. He disapparated on the Potter’s lawn. Sirius made to stand and follow him, but James stopped him.

“He needs some space Pads. Best not follow tonight.”

Sirius slumped on the sofa. He looked broken.

“Well, this has been quite a night” said James lightly “Lily, would you mind fetching a pair of my pyjamas - I want to patch this old dog up and get him to bed. I think everyone has had enough excitement for one evening”.


	6. What Counts

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Dumbledore's office: 11 pm, 2 hours after Sirius's disclosure._  

“I’m sorry, Mr Lupin, I understand your distress, but I am afraid I am unable to tell you the whereabouts of Miss Aelia Prince.”

Dumbledore peered serenely over his half-moon spectacles at Remus, as though his reasons for being obstructive were both self-explanatory and regrettably unavoidable. Remus glared back at his old Professor and decided he hated him, just a bit.

“But I need to talk to her” Remus insisted, “and I’ve done so much for you. I’ve faced death unquestioningly on your orders countless times, I’ve lived as a spy amongst werewolves for months on end at your behest, and I’ve always bent quickly and obediently to your every request, without question. Surely you could grant me such a small favour. All I want is to meet her.”

“You did all of those things for the war effort, not for me” said Dumbledore, mildly.

“But it was on your orders. You know I can be trusted. Please, Dumbledore - my partner, the man I love like a husband, turns up and tells me he risked his life to save a known Death Eater and that he thought I was a spy. Whether he believed me to be imperiused or not, he still thought I was a traitor. Sirius, who trusted that his fighting partner was on our side when everyone thought she was against us, still couldn’t bring himself to trust me. I need to understand. I really need to talk to Aelia.”

Dumbledore looked at him steadily, his expression full of sympathy. He was sorry for Remus, but he wasn’t going to help. Remus hated him.

“Remus, not only would I trust you with my life, I have done so on many occasions” said Dumbledore simply. “I also never believed you to be imperiused, or a spy” he continued. “However, unfortunately in this case it is not my trust in _you_ which is the sticking point, but rather Aelia Prince’s trust in _me_. I promised her I would not tell anyone of her location.”

“So you’re not going to help me then” said Remus, defeated.

“My dear boy, I never said that” said Dumbledore, eyes sparkling “and unless I am very much mistaken, I am still able to help you without breaking my faith with anyone.”

“But you just said…”

“I said I was unable to tell you Aelia’s current location. However, I never said I wouldn’t help you to meet with her.”

“But how can I meet her if I don’t know where she is?”

“By telling her where _you_ are and asking her to meet you there, naturally” said Dumbledore, smiling. “I would recommend that you remain here for a while, for that purpose. I think Miss Prince may feel safer if she is meeting you here than she would feel meeting elsewhere. It will require you to stay the night, however.”

“Um, sure” said Remus, stunned.

“That’s settled then” said Dumbledore, clapping his hands together and smiling at Remus benevolently. “Bobkins, may I have a word?” There was a loud crack and a particularly old and wrinkly house-elf apparated into the principal’s office, he (she?) had a narrow spindly frame and enormous, crinkly ears that looked for all the world like bat’s wings.

“Hogwarts’ Chief House-elf Bobkins at your service, Professor Dumbledore, sir.”

“Bobkins, would you be so kind as to show Mr Lupin here to one of the guest rooms. I assume we have one that will be serviceable - or shall he wait in the staff room while one is prepared?”

“Bobkins has the room prepared already, sir. Ever since Mr Lupin is arriving here so late, sir.”

“Thank you Bobkins, I see you have been brilliantly efficient as ever.”

Bobkins beamed, before turning and giving Remus a little bow “If you would come this way Mr Lupin, sir, Bobkins will show you to your room.”

Remus followed, too stunned to say anything except a murmured thanks to both Bobkins and his old professor.

 

_Potter Manor, Lily and James’s Bedroom, eight hours post-disclosure._

 

Lily woke around five in the morning, curled up warm against James in their four-poster. Harry was still sleeping (thank God) but Lily was now wide awake. She snuggled in closer to James, thinking that maybe if she went back to sleep very quickly Harry wouldn’t wake. That kid’s knowledge of her sleep rhythms were uncanny. As she snuggled into her husband’s shoulder, James rolled towards her, brushing her hair away from her face and kissing her lightly on the temple. Lily sighed inwardly. If James was awake at this hour that definitely meant he was worrying, which meant he would want to talk, which meant no sleep for her. Damn.

“You awake, too, hon?” said James, winding his arms around her. Lily leaned into him, her face resting on the soft, flat part of his shoulder, just under his collarbone.

“Yeh, I am now” she replied, “You fretting about Sirius and Remus?”

“A bit” James conceded - which usually translated as _‘yes I’m worried sick and haven’t slept so far all night’_.

 “Oh darling” she stroked circles on James’s chest through his nightshirt “the two of them are adults. I’m sure they’ll work things out.”

 “It’s just that I don’t think I’ve seen Remus that angry before” James continued “well, not since the Sirius nearly got Snape killed when we were still at school - and Moony didn’t talk to Sirius for over six months after that…”

“Sirius nearly got Severus _killed_?!” Lily hissed “You never told me…” She took a deep breath “Actually, you know what, I don’t want to know. Not tonight anyway” said Lily, in the resigned voice she reserved especially for discussing the Marauder’s past exploits “So the last time Remus was this angry he stopped talking to Sirius for six months. But they were both really young _and_ they made it up in the end. Surely with added age and maturity they’ll manage to work something out again, right?”

“Maybe you’re right...” James sounded unconvinced “it’s just… well it’s kind of a big deal to have accused your partner of being a spy.”

“It’s kind of a big deal to convince your best friends that it’s a good idea to make someone who’s spying on them their secret keeper. Yet you, Sirius and I are still on speaking terms.”

“I never really thought of it like that…” said James.

Lily rolled her eyes - typical James. Sirius had persuaded them to risk the lives of their entire family, but it never occurred to James that he should be cross about it.

“Are you mad at Sirius too, then Lil?” said James, correctly interpreting her silence.

“Hmm… mad is a strong word” said Lily “I feel exasperated and a bit cross. Maybe even a little disappointed.”

“He meant well.”

“Sirius always means well. It doesn’t mean he always acts well. Did he even tell you he suspected Remus?” James was silent “I thought not” said Lily “Sirius can be extremely arrogant on occasion.”

“True,” said James “but since Mum and Dad died, he and Remus are the only family I’ve got.”

“Since _my_ Mum and Dad died you and Harry are the only family _I’ve_ got” snapped Lily “and because of Sirius’s bad advice I almost lost you.”

“Oh Lily” James held her more tightly “I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget how scary that evening must have been for you” he soothed.

“Must be nice, to be able to forget that” said Lily shortly. Then more gently “I couldn’t have saved you without Remus and Sirius’s help, though. I know you three really love each other. But you all loved Peter, too. Loving a person doesn’t make them faultless.”

“Lil, none of us are faultless. But not all of us are traitors.”

“How do you tell the difference, though?”

“I don’t think you can. I used to think you could, but since Peter… I guess you just have to have faith.”

“It scares me, and I hate it.”

“Yeh, it scares me, too. But it doesn’t scare me as much as the thought of living in a world where I can’t trust my friends. Love and trust may not be very rational emotions, but I need them to function.”

Lily laughed quietly and kissed him “You’re such a soppy git.”

“Yeh, but you knew that when you married me” James kissed her back. “I’m sorry I didn’t include you and Harry when I was talking about my family - obviously you’re my most important family. I just wasn’t thinking.”

“Do you ever?”

“Very occasionally…”

“It’s OK, I knew what you meant. I was just cross.” Lily wrapped her arms around her husband.

“I love you” she whispered.

“Love you, too.”

 

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, disused teacher’s office, thirteen hours post-disclosure._

 

Aelia Prince stepped into the office where Remus was waiting for her and gave him a guarded smile. She was a tall, slender witch with high cheekbones, a prominent nose and jet black, glossy hair. She had a clear, coffee-coloured complexion and her face was speckled with fine freckles. Rumour had it that Aelia was descended via her Egyptian maternal grandmother to one of the most ancient wizarding families in the world. Remus had no idea if it was true. He did know that she had been one of their best fighters during the war and that she was quick-witted and clever. Remus also thought that Aelia was exceptionally beautiful. A fact that may have contributed to his doubts around Sirius’s fidelity, Remus realised guiltily. He stood to meet his guest.

“Aelia, thank you so much for coming to meet me with such short notice” Remus shook her hand in both of his “please take a seat” he gestured to the comfortable furniture he had transfigured out of school desks and chairs briefly before her arrival - they were now small padded armchairs and an antique coffee table that was topped with tea and biscuits, courtesy of Bobkins & co.

“Thank you, Remus” said Aelia, settling onto one of the armchairs and arranging her bottle-green robes “it was no bother. I’m not currently working, so it breaks the daily monotony a little if I’m honest. Not that I wouldn’t have been happy to meet you anyway, of cause” again, the guarded smile “may I?” she gestured to the teapot.

“By all means.”

Remus perched on the armchair opposite her, while Aelia poured them both tea.

“Albus tells me that you wish to talk to me about Sirius.”

Aelia gave Remus a long, steady look. He swallowed, mouth dry - now it came to it he wasn’t sure how to begin.

“He really loves you, Remus” said Aelia, gently “it hurt him dreadfully having to keep secrets from you on our behalf. Please don’t be too angry with him. He saved Acathis’s life by helping her to escape - I am eternally indebted to him.”

“I’m not angry with him for that” said Remus “I was at first, but now I understand.”

“But you _are_ still angry with him?”

“Yes”

“Why?”

Remus rubbed his face, unsure how to answer the question. Somehow it seemed childish to say he was angry because Sirius had trusted Aelia more than he had trusted Remus.

“Is it jealousy, Remus?” Aelia prompted gently “Sirius told me you were frightened that he and I were sleeping together” she explained, giving Remus a long, kind look. “I promise we weren’t. Sirius and I are close friends, but we have never been romantically or sexually involved. Nor have we any interest in becoming so.”

“Why?” said Remus, lamely.

Aelia raised an eyebrow.

“Well, we’re both gay for a start. So not really each other’s type.”

“No, sorry” corrected Remus “I mean, why are you so close? Why does he trust you so much?”

“It’s not unusual for fighting partners to be close” Aelia said, her tone still kind “You have to work together as a team and Sirius and I have saved each other's lives on a number of occasions. Not to mention having witnessed friends die together…” Aelia looked away for a minute, her expression carefully blank.

“I’m sorry, I was tactless” said Remus gently, “of cause it’s natural for people who have been through so much together to be close. We all ended up being close-knit within the Order in the end. But there was something special about you two - I’ve never seen Sirius behave like that around anyone except James.”

“And you” Aelia touched Remus’s knee “you two are amazing together. You bring out the best in him, even more than James does.”

Remus shrugged - he didn’t believe her. He had accepted a long time ago that although he was Sirius’s partner, James was his best friend. Sirius sparkled when James was with him.

Aelia sat back in her chair and looked at Remus appraisingly. Remus squirmed and sipped his tea, avoiding her gaze. Whatever his plan had been for this conversation, this hadn’t been it. He tried to think of something to break the silence but, as ever, Aelia beat him to it.

“I think” she said at last “that Sirius and I understand each other well because we’re quite alike in a lot of ways.”

“Really?” said Remus stunned “but Sirius is mischief personified and you’re… I dunno… not…”

Aelia properly laughed at that - it was the first time she looked truly at ease since she arrived.

“You always were a one with words, Rem” she giggled “I guess it’s true that Sirius and I have different personality types. That’s not really what I meant though when I said we were alike - I meant that we have very similar backgrounds. We’ve both been disowned by our parents, for starters. Not to mention that we both were brought up in wealthy, bigoted families with blood-purist tendencies and we both became disenchanted with those prejudices and fought back against them in our own ways.”

“Your parents disowned you for being pro Muggle rights?”

“No, my parents disowned me for being gay. I think they could have forgiven me my stance on Muggle rights, as distasteful as they found them. But nice girls from pure-blood families simply don’t go around kissing other women in public, and they certainly don’t refuse to get married off to some eligible pure-blood bachelor. No husband, no nice little pureblood grandchildren, you see.”

“Oh Aelia, I’m so sorry - I never knew…”

“It’s OK Rem, it was a long time ago. I’ve come to terms with my parents being bigoted gits. Fortunately, I have other family members who are less obnoxious.”

“Well, having obnoxious parents is certainly something Sirius would relate to - from my limited experience of Orion and Walbura Black.”

“Hmmn… yes, they certainly sound like charming individuals” said Aelia, with a small ironic smile.

“So how did you become interested in Muggle rights then?” Remus asked, curiosity peaked.

“My older brother was a squib and my favourite Aunt married a muggle” Aelia replied.

“ _Was_ a squib?” Remus queried.

“He died in the war” said Aelia, shortly.

“I’m sorry” and Remus really was.

“A lot of people died in the war” Aelia shrugged.

“Still though, you lost your brother…”

“Yes, and my soul mate” Aelia looked away again “can we not? I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Of cause, I’m sorry” Remus touched her knee lightly. Naturally Aelia was still cut up about Marlene - Remus kicked himself. He really was hopeless sometimes.

“So your favourite Aunt married a muggle then?” Remus tried to steer the conversation back on to what he hoped was safer ground.

“Yes, Aunty Eileen was always very open minded. It’s a pity Uncle Tobias was such a waste of space.”

“Aelia! I thought you were pro-muggles!”

“I _am_ pro-muggles who don’t hit their wives” said Aelia seriously.

“Crap” said Remus embarrassed “I’m sorry. Your poor aunt. I guess wizards don’t have a monopoly on being abusive gits.”

“No, unfortunately they don’t” Aelia agreed.

“Are your Aunt and Uncle still together, then?” Remus asked.

“No, Aunty Eileen finally divorced the bastard a few years ago” Aelia grinned “I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“So you two are still in touch then?”

“Oh yes,” said Aelia, still smiling “I’m actually living with her and Severus at the moment.”

It took a minute for what Aelia had said to sink in, then it clicked. He looked up at Aelia, appalled.

“Wait a minute - you’re living with Severus, as in Severus _Snape_?!”

“Didn’t you know we were cousins?” Aelia looked entirely unperturbed at Remus’s look of horror.

“But he’s a Death Eater!” said Remus.

“No, actually, he’s not” said Aelia calmly “he changed sides and was spying for us by the end of the war.”

“How can you be sure?” said Remus, disbelievingly. Acathis and Regulus were one thing, but Snivilus had always loved the dark arts and all that blood-purity rubbish - Remus couldn’t believe he could have changed so much.

Aelia gave him an appraising look “How can you be sure I didn’t betray the McKinnons” she said at last.

“Because Sirius said you didn’t” said Remus so quickly he surprised himself by the honesty of the statement, then after thinking a minute “and you would never have hurt Marlene.”

“So you don’t think I know my cousin as well as Sirius knows me?” Said Aelia, it was a statement not a question. “Or perhaps that Severus isn’t capable of loving someone on our side as much as I loved Marlene?”

Remus was quiet. Aelia had a knack for pointing out when he had his foot in his mouth - it wasn’t a talent that he particularly appreciated.

“As much as we wanted it to be about good and evil while we were fighting the war Rem, it never really was” said Aelia, at last. “Voldemort’s philosophy was evil - about as evil as it’s humanly possible to get - but many of the people who were following him weren’t. Just like many of the who people fought against him weren’t perfect beacons of virtue. You of all people know that - what with all the anti-werewolf sentiment you had to put up with from our side.” Aelia rubbed her forehead, she looked tired “I think in the end many of the Death Eaters would have gladly left Voldemort to rot if they hadn’t been so afraid of him. He was a cruel leader. But Severus was one of the few who actually did - he was brave, Remus.”

Aelia looked at Remus, her eyes were dark-chocolate black-brown and deep with emotion.

“He was brave” she continued “and he’s my family and he loves me. In the end, family matter. The people who love you really matter. Believe me, I’ve lost enough people through both death and disownment to know.”

Remus didn’t say anything. There wasn’t really anything to say to that. Aelia stood and, sidestepping the coffee table, she hugged him. She was very strong for someone so slight and was almost as tall as he was. Remus held her like she might break in his arms.

“Sirius really loves you, Remus” Aelia said, finally stepping out the embrace “and he’s still alive. Don’t let your pride and your ego eat away at the time you have together.”

Aelia moved away from him, she stretched one hand toward the door before turning to him and saying “The time we have with the people we love is finite. Don’t waste it. If you don’t take anything else from this meeting, please take that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter in Part One should be up sometime tomorrow.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you've enjoyed this so far - I'd love to hear your feedback.


	7. Doxies and Stomach Butterflies...

The Potter’s garden was awash with watery afternoon sunlight when Remus apparated back to Potter Hotel. James was playing with Harry on the lawn - he and Lily had done a really good job of tidying up the garden, given the short space of time they’d been working on it. There were even a few flowers.

“Uncle Mooy!” Harry spotted him first and came at the run. He was getting very quick, Remus noted as he swept up the little boy into a huge hug.

“And how is Baby Prongs today then?” Remus laughed.

“Uncle Mooy, wand!” said Harry, hopefully.

“Come here, horror.” said James, taking the wriggling little boy back from his doting uncle “Uncle Moony isn’t your personal purveyor of magical mischief, you know.”

“And here I was thinking it was my official job title” said Remus, giving James a grin.

“You OK, Moony?” asked James, earnestly.

“Yeh, I’m alright” said Remus more seriously. “Is Sirius around?”

“Yep. He’s in the house de-doxifying bedrooms.”

“Now that’s what I call a job title” said Remus, entirely deadpan. James laughed.

“I think I owe him a chat” said Remus “I can make my own way though - I remember where the rooms are.”

“OK” said James “but if there’s going to be bloodshed make sure it’s outside the house, alright?”

“It won’t come to that” said Remus with a small smile “your upholstery is safe with me.”

James gave him a one-armed hug and Remus headed for the house.

 

Remus knocked on the door of the room where Sirius was cleaning - he had located him via all the clattering and clunking he was making, not to mention the pungent smell of doxicide emanating from under the door.

“Come in” Sirius’s voice was muffled but cheerful. When Remus entered the room, Sirius had his back to him. He was dressed in old back jeans, a long-sleeved cotton shirt and dragonhide gloves. Sirius was also armed with a spray-bottle of doxicide and had tied an old bandana around his face. As Remus watched him a couple of doxies flew at Sirius who sprayed them deftly, before picking up their prone bodies and dropping them in to the bag he had for the purpose.

“Are you and Lily finished with the garden already Ja...” Sirius turned and realised it was Remus who had come into the room, not James. His smile died on his lips, he dropped the spray bottle he was holding and doxicide spilled everywhere.

“Hello Remus” he said.

Sirius was white. He also appeared not to have noticed the spreading puddle of noxious liquid that was all over the floor and had splashed over his trainers and jeans.

“Hello Sirius” said Remus “ah - you might want to” he gestured at the doxicide.

“Oh, right” Sirius cleaned up the spilt liquid with a wave of his wand and repaired the bottle.

“It’s just that doxicide can be pretty nasty if it gets on your skin…” Remus stuttered. Why was he blushing damn it, why?

“Right” said Sirius again, looking at the floor. “Ah, if you wanted to talk, we could go next door” Sirius suggested, “it doesn’t smell as bad in that room and there aren’t any doxies.”

“OK.”

Remus backed out into the corridor again and headed towards the room Sirius had indicated. He wasn’t blushing any more, but he felt light-headed. Remus was reminded unpleasantly of the way he used to feel in the early days of his attraction to Sirius, before he worked out for sure that his affection was reciprocated and was just terrified of having a crush on his best mate. Remus shook himself internally. Surely, he was too old for this - his hands started to tremble - apparently not then. Bugger. Remus found a dust-cloth covered chair in the bedroom he and Sirius had entered and sat down. Sirius leant against the four-poster and started patting down his pockets, looking for cigarettes.

“Oi, you were supposed to have quit smoking” said Remus, grumpily.

“Well, funnily enough I’ve been a bit stressed lately,” said Sirius, fishing a packet of smokes from his jeans pocket, “and I could really do with the distraction right now.”

Remus glared at him. Sirius looked at him for a minute and then pocketed the cigarettes again.

“OK, ok, I won’t smoke.”

Sirius crouched on the floor next to the bed and ran his palm across his face.

“Just hurry up and shoot, would you” he said. “The suspense is killing me.”

Remus swallowed. “I talked to Aelia” he said, finally.

“Oh, right” said Sirius, surprised “what did she say?”

“That you love me” said Remus truthfully.

“Well obviously - that’s not news. I told you that last night.”

“And that you saved Acanthis’s life.”

“A bit dramatic, but I guess it’s possible.”

“And that I should spend as much time as possible with the people that love me, because my time with them is finite. She said I should take it from someone who knew.”

Remus looked up, Sirius was sitting on the floor, arms looped over his knees hands loosely interlocked in front of him. He wasn’t looking at Remus.

“Aelia has lost a lot of people in her life” Sirius said eventually, “and she’s still grieving for Marlene. So I guess it’s understandable that she would feel like that. But it doesn’t mean you have to take her advice Rem - life is often more complicated than that. If you don’t feel the way you used to about me - about us - it’s OK. I get it.”

Sirius looked at Remus then, he was desperately sad and yet in deadly earnest. Remus felt tears well up and knew he was going to cry. He couldn’t stop it. Oh Fuck.

“Sirius” the first two tears tracked down Remus’s face and his voice cracked “Padfoot… I still feel the same. I still want you…” he was crying properly now but Sirius was there, he had his arms around him, holding him close, so Remus’s tears soaked the front of Sirius’s t-shirt.

“Shh, it’s OK Moony, it’s alright.” Sirius expanded the chair Remus was sitting on so he could squeeze in next to him. Remus leant into his partner, shaking and sobbing.

“I’m so sorry, Padfoot.”

“It’s alright, cry as much as you need to Moony, don’t be sorry” Sirius soothed, rubbing his back.

“I’m not sorry about crying,” Remus swallowed “I’m sorry about being so angry with you. I’m sorry for not understanding.” Remus had stopped crying now, but he was still leaning into Sirius, holding him tightly.

“What didn’t you understand?” Sirius asked. He had his face in Remus’s hair, Remus could feel him breathing. Remus thought for a minute before answering, choosing his words.

“I didn’t understand how the McKinnons’ deaths affected you.” he said, finally.

“How do you mean?” said Sirius, confused.

Remus leant back slightly and looked at his partner.

“I mean, that when you told me last night that you had been worried that I had been imperiused I was angry. I thought you didn’t trust me. That you thought I was vulnerable, or in some way inept. But after talking to Aelia, I realised that you had worried that I was imperiused because you loved me. You were terrified that I might get hurt. That Voldemort would kill me the way he killed Marlene.”

Sirius was quiet for a minute after that.

“I still have nightmares sometimes, you know” he said eventually “about Marlene and the McKinnons. The Death Eaters didn’t just murder them, they tortured them first. I’m not just talking cruciatus here, either - there was blood and… and body parts….” Sirius swallowed “It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot. My worst fear, my very worst was that they would get you or James, or Lily, or little Harry… and I wouldn’t be able to stop them…” Sirius was crying now, too. Remus held him.

“It’s OK Padfoot, I’m here. We’re safe. We’re all safe. It never happened.” Sirius curled into Remus’s shoulder and Remus held him close, rubbing his back and breathing in the Padfoot-scent of his hair. Things would be alright.

 

End of Part One.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> This is the end of Part One, but it's not the end of the story. I won't be posting anything for a while though - probably not for a month or two. The plot speeds up quite a bit after this, so I thought this was a good place for a hiatus. 
> 
> When I do update, it will be several chapters posted all at much the same time. That way I can proof read and edit my work properly. It also means that you all won't get drip-fed fragments, which is something I personally find irritating if I'm reading a fic. 
> 
> If you're keen to hear what happens next, please bookmark the story. That way you'll be emailed when I update it next.


	8. MoM Citizen’s Bureau 13 ⅓

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've completed another five chapters - they'll go up over the next week or two. It's taking me a bit longer to write this than I had anticipated as the plot's getting more complex (hopefully the pay-off is that it's also more interesting...). I haven't finished part two completely yet, but I thought you all might like the up-date just the same.

_Monday 11th of January, 1982._

_Diagon Alley, London._

 

Remus rubbed his gloved hands together, scanning the few people braving the icy weather on Diagon Alley as they shuffled, bundled in clocks and mittens, between the heated shops. He couldn’t see Aelia, but then he was a little early. Remus cast a warming charm on his boots and pulled his hands inside the sleeves of his robes. He looked up at the small, shabby office building in front of him. Above the main door hang a sign reading:

 

**Ministry of Magic Citizen’s Bureau no. 13 ⅓**

_Providing Charitable Council for the Magically Misused, Abused & Maladapted._

 

Remus wondered whether werewolves were considered to be misused, abused or maladapted in the eyes of the Ministry of Magic - or perhaps he was considered to be an odd mix of all three?  It wasn’t ideal. However, when offered free office space for your start-up charity, one felt inclined to overlook the odd drawback. Even backhanded bigotry and public branding of the charity’s intended beneficiaries as magical misfits. For this to work, Remus needed an office space. Rent was expensive and if Remus had seen worse. So had the werewolves he would be working with… much worse.

 

Remus had wanted to start up a volunteer run walk-in centre for the support of werewolves for a long time. It was an idea he’d dreamed up while sleeping rough during the war, in the months he’d spent working to gain the trust of fellow werewolves. He had experienced a lot of hardship during that time - and most of it hadn’t been his. But Remus had never really thought he would have the means to actually start the walk-in centre. It wasn’t exactly the type of project that attracted Ministry funding, and Remus was very short of both money and time. Which is why he had been so touched that Aelia and her Aunt Eileen had been so supportive.  

 

Since reuniting with Sirius, Remus had spent a lot of time with Aelia. He had told her one day of his dream of setting up a safe space where werewolves could come to get advice on their legal rights, gain support for integrating into wizarding society if they wanted it, and possibly even attend night school classes on basic wand use - for those whose magical education had been negatively affected by their condition. Aelia had loved the idea and had offered to help. She wasn’t currently in paid employment, as she needed time and space to recover from the war. However, she was working with a range of charities and said she would be glad to volunteer her time to the cause. Aelia had also got her aunt on board. Eileen worked as a social worker for the Ministry of Magic, supporting witches and wizards who suffered from domestic abuse. She was enamoured with the idea of Remus’s werewolf support group and felt sure there was a way the social work team could support the project. So much so that Eileen had managed to pester her boss into to agreeing to let Remus use an office in this building for a couple of days a week, free of charge.

Aelia swept around the corner, her breath swirling in clouds around her.

“Remus - You’re early! I said not to come before 8:30 am. You must be freezing. I wanted to open up before you arrived so that you didn’t become a Remus-Shaped ice block.”

“I was just excited to see the place; thought I’d turn up right on the dot.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m five minutes late, then. Let’s get inside so you can have a look around and warm up. How was your Christmas and New Year’s, anyway?” said Aelia, as she unlocked the building and ushered him inside.

“Quiet, but very enjoyable” said Remus “Sirius and I celebrated Christmas with Mum, Dad and the Potters. My parents hosted, it’s the first time we’ve celebrated with more than just the three of us since my grandparents were alive - It was nice.”

“So, have you told your parents about the two of you, now then?” said Aelia with a grin.

“Yeh, I did” said Remus, blushing. Remus had asked Sirius if he could introduce him to his parents, as his partner, shortly after they had made up. Sirius had been so chuffed it made Remus feel guilty he hadn’t asked before.

“And?” prompted Aelia, elbowing him, “How did they take it?”

“Really well. They were pleased, actually. Said they had wondered if we were an item for a while, but reckoned I would tell them when I was ready.”

“Congratulations, that’s brilliant Remus!” said Aelia, beaming.

“Thanks” said Remus, smiling. “That reminds me” said Remus, suddenly business-like again “while we’re on the topic of celebrations, Lily and James are having a housewarming party this weekend. They asked me to invite you.”

“That’s kind of them,” said Aelia warmly, “please thank them for me, and say that I will be delighted to attend. It’s been an age since I went to any kind of party.”

While they were talking, Aelia glanced around the deserted room they had entered, lighting the lamps on the stands with a flick of her wand. They appeared to be in some kind of waiting room: There was a battered help-desk in one corner, the carpet was well worn, and the walls were painted a faded shade of eggshell blue.

“Are we the only ones here, then?” Remus asked.

“For now,” Aelia replied. “The witch who works on the information desk usually opens the whole place up at 9:00, but I thought it would be pleasant have a look around while everything is still quiet. I can give you the grand tour.” Aelia gestured expansively, before continuing, “Down the hall here is the office of the witch whose job is to support vampires, and their friends and associates. I don’t know how good she is, to be honest. From her usual expression, you would think someone had put a perpetual sicking charm on some dung and attached it to her upper lip. Not many vampires come asking her for assistance, either.  Although we sometimes have irate neighbours-of-vampires storming in here looking for advice on persuading vampires to move out…”

“Sounds like an excellent deal for the vampires, then” said Remus, raising an eyebrow.

“Rather” Aelia pulled a face.

“Nearly everyone else who works here helps support people with chronic charms and/or curse damage, they work in these offices” Aelia waved a hand towards a wall with five doors.

“Chronic charms and curse damage?” said Remus.

“You know, for people with incurable injuries that disable them, but aren’t so bad that they end up as long-term inpatients at St Mungos. People at this centre help them to manage so they can continue to live in their own homes for as long as possible” Aelia explained.

“Doesn’t your aunt work here, too?”

“Yes, sometimes. She doesn’t have a dedicated office though, because she only comes in once or twice a month to provide support to patients who are survivors of domestic abuse.”

“We’re in here.” said Aelia, turning the corner. She gestured to a small door with a brass plaque reading:

 

_Madam Augusta Quince, Cursed Skin Condition Specialist_

 

“Augusta uses the room Wednesday to Friday, but she’s happy for us to have a locking cabinet for our stuff and we can use the space Mondays and Tuesdays. Maybe even Saturdays, if they’ll let us open up the place in the weekend…”

Aelia opened the door to the office and doubled over immediately in a fit of coughing. The stench of garlic and rotten meat rolled out of the room in waves. Remus reached. Aelia slammed the door shut and they beat a hasty retreat, back down the hall.

“Oh dear” said Aelia, when they were back in the waiting room “they did warn me that it smelled a little. Some of the skin problems Augusta treats are pretty dire. But I had no idea it was that bad.”

“Aelia” said Remus, “I don’t think this is going to work. Werewolves have an outstanding sense of smell, far more sensitive than even the most observant witch or wizard. Even if we could manage to get the room to a level where non-wolves are OK with the smell, it is likely to still be overpowering for werewolves.” He had known that free office space in Diagon Alley was too good to be true. “I’m surprised they can have a vampire consultant working in the same building, to be honest. I can definitely smell garlic…” he added.

“Well that would explain why we don’t get any vampires in here then” said Aelia, frowning. “Of all the idiotic things, I don’t know why no one ever noticed earlier… Wait” Aelia looked stricken, “there’s no silver in here is there?”

Remus shook his head.

“Thank goodness for that” said Aelia.

“The lack of vampires may also have something to do with the office hours” said Remus.

“The office hours?”

“This place is only open from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm” said Remus. Aelia still looked nonplussed.

“So, during the day time” said Remus, “while it’s light.” Aelia groaned and put her head in her hands, comprehension finally hitting her.

“I’m sorry Remus” she said, “I just never even thought… I guess with problems that have never personally affected me, I can be unintentionally inconsiderate.”

“It’s OK Aelia, it can be tricky when you’re not used to it. At least you’re trying - many people don’t.”

Remus stood to leave “Please thank Eileen for me, it was good of her to try and help. Hopefully I can find somewhere more suitable, soon.”

“Hang on a minute” said Aelia, also standing, “but you said there was no silver. Garlic and sunlight aren’t a problem for werewolves, are they?”

“No, but the smell in the office will be, and I am fairly sure it will be impossible to remove it” said Remus.

“We’re not giving up yet” said Aelia, “there will be a way to fix the smell. You go to do some shopping for an hour or two and leave it with me.”

“Are you sure?” said Remus, unconvinced.

“Certain” said Aelia, grimly.

“Well, I guess if you feel strongly about it. I haven’t been to _Flourish and Blotts_ for a long time, I could do some shopping there and meet you back here at eleven?”

“Deal” said Aelia grinning, “Don’t worry Remus, we’ll have this show on the road in no time.”

 

Remus loved bookstores. There was something about their smell and their library-like tranquillity that was deeply comforting, and _Flourish and Blotts_ stocked particularly good-quality merchandise. Remus had already found several excellent new volumes outlining the latest in curse-breaking innovations. Also, as Gringotts had recently agreed to hire him on a freelance basis, he could justify the expense of buying the books as being necessary for his work. Remus was just starting to think that, as disappointing as his trip to London had been, perhaps it wasn’t such a waste of time after all, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Remus jumped so badly he nearly dropped the heavy volume he was holding. Surreptitiously removing his wand from his shirtsleeve, he spun around to see... Aelia.

“What are you doing here!” he sputtered, “You nearly gave me heart-failure - it’s only been half an hour. I thought we were meeting again at eleven?”

“My apologies” said Aelia smiling smugly, “but I am in need of your superior olfactory prowess.”

“You need me to smell something?” said Remus, surprised.

“Yes. I believe I may have managed to fix our odiforous little problem. But as my sense of smell isn’t as good as yours, I need you to come and check that it will meet the high standards of our intended future clients.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“OK, I’ll be there in two ticks. I just need to purchase these” Remus nodded towards the books.

“Right you are” said Aelia, grinning like she had swallowed a rainbow along with the leprechaun gold that went with it.

 

“Aelia, you’re incredible” said Remus, as he walked into Augusta Quince, the Rotting Skin Specialist’s, office. It was a smallish room with a desk, a large cabinet and several leather-covered old chairs, and it was now completely stench free.

“How on earth did you do it? I’ve never heard of a spell that gets rid of scents that thoroughly” he continued, completely amazed.

“Baking soda” said Aelia, simply.

“Baking soda, like you use in cooking?” Remus frowned.

“Yes,” said Aelia, “it’s a cleaning trick Aunty Eileen taught me. Muggles use baking soda for cleaning as well as for cooking, and to deodorise things like the inside of shoes. Witches and wizards don’t, because on its own baking soda doesn’t work as well as a cleaning charm. But if you apply baking soda to something you want to clean first, before using magic, it greatly intensifies the potency of the charms. To work it, all you would need to do is perform a bubble-head charm on yourself first, so you can get into the room without vomiting, and then the rest is simple” said Aelia, bouncing on the balls of her feet and grinning.

“Did Eileen work that out herself?” asked Remus.

“Yes,” said Aelia “she has worked out quite a few clever tricks that combine muggle methods and science. It’s quite inspirational, actually. I don’t think it’s an area anyone else has investigated - I was wondering about doing some kind of master's thesis based around the idea at some point. I’ve tried to persuade Aunty to do it, but she won’t. Says she was always rubbish at school - I have no idea how she could have been, though.”

“Highly intelligent people aren’t always successful in academia” observed Remus.

“I guess…” said Aelia, thoughtfully. “Anyway, we better get started sorting the office out, right?”

“Right” said Remus, “I guess we had.”

 


	9. Plans made and unmade.

“Good, you go right ahead, leave the party organisation all to me why don’t you?” Lily sniped, glaring at the back of her retreating husband’s tousled head. “And while you’re going for you long relaxing walk, take Harry with you. And, you know, _parent_.”

“Because of cause, I never do that” James snapped, turning to face her again, eyes flashing.

“Oh, don’t you dare, James Potter…” Lily hissed.

James held up a hand, palm outwards “Just leave, it. OK” he said, clearly biting back whatever retort he wanted to make. Lily deflated a little.

“I mean it, James” she said, “take Harry with you. I have work to do.”

“Fine” he said, leaving.

Lily closed her eyes, breathing hard. It had been a long time since she and James had rowed as badly as this. As her temper cooled, she was already starting to regret a few of the choicer things she had said to James. But he had started it, damn it. Lily needed to clear her head. She wanted Remus.

 

Remus was still living at Potter Manor. He had made a valiant attempt to return to his parent’s house after a week’s visit, but James had talked him into staying with them until such time as he and Padfoot moved back in together. After Remus’s and Sirius’s brief separation, the two of them had thought it might be an idea to keep separate living quarters for a while. Neither of them had ever lived apart before as adults for any length of time, and they thought having a little extra space at first might help their relationship. It was a cute theory, but it hadn’t worked. All that had happened is that Remus had officially started living with the Potters and Sirius had unofficially started living with them, too. Lily could count on one hand the number of nights Sirius had slept at his own place since she and James had moved, and then he had usually been accompanied there by Remus… it was sooo predictable. But that was OK. The two of them were happy and Lily and James liked company.

 

Lily knocked lightly on the library door.

“Come in” said Remus. He had set up his work things in one corner of the room, neatly stacked papers with scrawled notes, rune diagrams and mathematical equations radiated around him as though he was the centre of some type of odd paper-growing fungus.

“Do you want a break and to have a cup of tea with me” said Lily, trying not to sound plaintive. “I need someone to tell me cursing my husband is a bad idea.”

Remus turned and looked at her earnestly and said, “It’s a bad idea.” The corner of Remus’s mouth twitched just slightly, as though he was strongly resisting the urge to attach a witticism to the statement, but instead he said, “What’s Prongs done this time, then?”

Lily spread her hands wide “Oh, not much. He just wants to entirely rearrange every plan we had for the foreseeable future, with little-to-no warning, and is cross that I’m not thrilled.”

Remus stood, “You’re right, Lily” he said, “that sounds like a problem that requires tea. The kitchen would be a good spot for it, don’t you think?”

 

Lily leaned her elbows on the sturdy wood of the kitchen table, nursing her mug. “Puddlemere United has offered James the place of seeker, starting next season.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” said Remus, perplexed “I didn’t know James was trialing for Quidditch teams.”

“That’s because he wasn’t. We discussed it at the end of the war, but James said he wasn’t interested in playing professionally. Puddlemere United have offered him the position based on his performance at school, and James has told them he’s interested.”

“I’m still confused as to exactly what the problem is” Remus said, mildly.

“The problem is, that if he takes the position then he will start training with them immediately. Which with travel time to and from work, will mean he is away from home nine hours a day during the week, as well as all of Saturday when there are matches” said Lily, rubbing her eyes. “Our plan, before all of this, was that James was going to look for part time work. I was returning to part time study, and we would balance caring for Harry between the two of us. I’m already enrolled in the course. The ministry has even approved an internship placement for me in the Auror department while I wait for the start of semester - I’m supposed to be starting the week after next. Now I don’t know what will happen.”

“Right,” said Remus “I follow you. How does James suggest coping with the problem?”

Lily laughed humourlessly, “Well, to start with he hadn’t noticed there was one. Then, when I pointed out that he had been going to manage childcare while I studied, he suggested that I could postpone my study until Harry’s a little older.”

“Oh dear” said Remus.

“The thing that really gets me, is that he can’t see how what he is suggesting is unfair. I know it’s an honour for him to be offered the position with Pud U, but did he honestly think none of the quidditch teams would want him when we discussed this before? That’s why I asked him if he wanted to try out for teams in the first place. I know next to nothing about quidditch, but even I could see he was the best seeker at Hogwarts. If he tried out for teams in the usual way, then I would put money on it several teams would want him. But no, James wasn’t interested. At least, not until one lousy talent scout turned up and whispered a few sweet nothings in his ear. Then boom, all of a sudden, he’s James Mighty Quidditch Player, hidden talent extraordinaire.” Lily slammed her mug on the table. “And what really hurts, is that he doesn’t think for a minute that I might also be talented. The field I’ve chosen is also competitive - have you any idea how few muggle-borns have ever worked as Aurors? I think I might be the first muggle-born witch to have ever trained. And I got top marks in our year’s NEWTS, and fought as hard as anyone during the war. If he wants to pursue quidditch professionally, then I get that. But I don’t see what gives him the right to trample over my career, because it suddenly suits him. We both wanted to be parents - Harry’s his boy, too.”

“Oh Lily, I don’t really know what to say,” Remus rocked back in his chair, “I can understand why James is excited, but he hasn’t been fair to you.” He thought for a minute, “Is there a way you both could have what you want? Surely there must be some kind of childcare option that allows you both to work?”

“Oh probably,” said Lily, tiredly “I guess lots of parents both work full time. But it’s the principle of the thing - I’m his wife, we’re supposed to discuss big life decisions together. Weigh up options, decide what the best thing for our family is. What the best thing for Harry is. Not make snap decisions that affect the life of the other partner without even a by-you-leave.”

“True,” said Remus. “Would you like me to talk to him?”

“No, Rem, it’s fine. He’s my husband - I’ll talk to him. The club only made him the offer today, whatever he’s said verbally won’t be binding - he hasn’t signed anything yet. We’ll sort something out, I’m sure. I just desperately needed someone to vent to.”

“Well, I think I can manage that” Remus gave her a hug “let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help, OK.”

“Thanks Rem, you’re the best.”

 

James returned an hour later, cradling a sleeping Harry in his arms. Lily met him in the hall, robes flour smudged from the food she had been preparing. James looked earnest, and more than a little tired. Lily came over and kissed him on the cheek - James let her, which was a good sign. He even gave her a wan smile.

“How’s the party preparation going?” he asked.

“Fine. I’m almost finished with the food, which is the last big job. After that I was going to charm some flowers for the vases and other little bits and pieces of decoration, you can help me if you would like. You don’t have to though.”

“No, I’ll help. I don’t mind decorating. I might need to keep caring Harry around though, if I put him down now, he’ll wake up and be grumpy for the rest of the evening.”

“James…”

“Hmmn?”

“You know that _I_ know you’re a loving Dad, right? I mean, I get wild sometimes and say things I probably shouldn’t - but I _know_ you love Harry more than life. I know you’d do anything for him.”

“I’m aware that you know I love our son. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when you say things that imply I’m being a bad parent. I honestly wish you’d hex me instead; it would hurt less.”

“I’m sorry,” Lily stroked James’s arm, “I was just angry. I felt out of control and scared, so I lashed out. Even at the time I knew some of the things I was saying to you were mean. But when you make decisions without me that affect my life, and how we’re bringing up Harry, without talking to me it’s terrifying. Because the bottom line is that I will always put Harry’s needs first - I would do anything to make sure he’s happy. So, when you make decisions that mean I have to choose between my career and my duty to my son… I just wish you would include me. Then I wouldn’t feel so out of control, I wouldn’t feel like I had to fight to have a say in the planning of my own life.”

“Crap. I never thought of it like that… I didn’t mean to… to upset you so much. To make you feel helpless. It’s just the Puddlemere scout started talking to me and, well I’d always dreamed of something like that happening. Ever since I was a little boy. I didn’t really believe anyone would be interested in me after all this time - it’s been years since I’ve played regularly. Not since school…”

“James, if it’s really important to you, I’m sure we could sort something out. But we need to discuss it, OK?”

“OK. But not now though.”

“No, not now. We have guests arriving in half an hour.”

“Half an hour?! I thought we said the party started at seven?”

“Pads is bringing Aelia with him after work. She wanted to have a chat about your kitchen endeavours.”

“My what?”

“She’s interested in muggle and magic technology combos, so the appliances you and Sirius set up in the kitchen intrigue her.”

“Thank goodness - For a nasty minute there I thought you meant my cooking.”

“Nope. Your safe on that front” Lily shot him a grin, “shall we discuss our respective careers and childcare responsibilities tomorrow morning then?”

“Sure.”

“James”

“Hmm?”

“You’ll take it easy tonight, won’t you? Discussing serious things with a hungover husband would be unpleasant for everyone concerned.”

“Yeh, sure. I’ll be careful.”


	10. The Housewarming Party

Sirius and Aelia apparated into the Manor grounds around half five. Sirius usually travelled via the floo network, but as it was Aelia’s first visit she needed someone to bring her through the wards. They had come straight from St Mungo's, where Sirius was working on practicum. He was still wearing the bright-pink robes worn by healers-in-training; the colour looked surprisingly good on him. It brought out the colour in his otherwise waxy complexion and complemented his glossy-black, shoulder-length hair and blue eyes. Lily couldn’t understand why Muggle men avoided the colour like it might give them spattergroit - Sirius looked handsome.

“It’s so nice to see you,” said Lily, giving Aelia a hug, “it feels like an age since the last time we met. It must be, what, six months now?”

“More like nine or ten, I think” said Aelia with a small smile.

“Good grief,” Lily winced, “yes, I guess it must be. Well, it’s good you’re here now. Come through to the kitchen and I can fix us some tea while Sirius tidies himself up.”

 

Aelia inspected the new electric oven and gas hob with interest.

“James and Sirius installed this?” she asked.

“Yes,” Lily smiled, “This house has been a wizarding one for so long that it has never been connected to the electricity grid. They’ve adapted a muggle oven to run off magical energy that mimics electricity. You would never believe what a fuss it was to do. At one point they managed to spill the energy force all over the kitchen floor - you couldn’t stand on it without being shocked. They had to jump around the kitchen benches and tables, levitating chairs like steppingstones in order to get out - rather like a very adult game of ‘the floor is lava’… we couldn’t use the kitchen for over a week.”

“Goodness,” said Aelia, here expression torn between amused and alarm “so what did you do for food in the meantime?”

“We went to the muggle shops. There’s a Tesco’s and a few good takeaway restaurants in the village along the road. So food wasn’t an issue. The main problem was that James insisted on being the one to buy things. He gets very excited about muggle shops. The attendants started avoiding us after a while, I think they thought he was psychologically unsound…”

“Do you know how they managed to contain the spell in the end?”

“No, unfortunately I don’t. You’ll have to talk to James and Sirius to get the ins and outs of how it all works. They should be through in a minute. How have you been keeping, anyway? Remus tells me you’re living with your aunt?”

“Yes, and my cousin Severus. I hear you two used to be friendly?”

“Yes, a long time ago. We both brought up in Cokeworth and were the same year at Hogwarts. But we grew apart as we got older, I haven’t seen him in years.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised. Sev fell in with a very bad crowd at school. It’s a pity though; he thinks the world of you, and he could do with some decent friends.”

“Did he say that about me?”

“Well, not in as many words, but I can tell. He always asks after you, for a start and that’s unusual for Severus - He’s not big on social niceties.”

“True. He never really was. How is he keeping, anyway?”

“I’m worried about him, to be honest. He keeps himself to himself, skulking around the house. It would be good for him to get out occasionally, being that isolated isn’t healthy.” Aelia looked thoughtful for a minute, “Would you like to come and see him?” she asked.

“What, do you think he’d want to see me?”

“I don’t know that Sev would admit to wanting to see anyone at the moment. But he lives with me. I am prepared to bet that if you came to visit me, he would want to see you. From what he’s said, I think he regrets losing you as a friend, and you’re one of the only people from his old life that he seems to have any real respect for.”

“Maybe,” said Lily pensively “I’ll think about it.”

 

o - O - o

 

“Frank!” Lily grinned at the tall figure emerging from the green flames in the living-room hearth. Lily had always loved Frank Longbottom. She and James had worked closely with Frank and his wife Alice during the war. They were both Aurors and had been founding members of the Order of the Phoenix. There were few people Lily would rather have at her back in a battle - or at a party during peacetime, come to that.

“Welcome to the madhouse” said Lily cheerfully, as Frank stepped lightly from the hearth, “Where are the rest of your beautiful family?”

Frank Longbottom was tall, blond, and broad-shouldered. He carried himself with the surety of someone used to being liked and respected, and the congeniality of someone who had earned it.  

“Alice will be on her way in a minute” said Frank, with a warm, open smile, “I left her saying a few last-minute goodbyes to Neville.”

“Why didn’t you bring him, too?” Lily asked, “He could have played with Harry. Arthur and Molly are planning on bringing their kids, no one would have been bothered by you bringing Neville along as well.”

“Thanks Lily, that’s sweet of you. But to be honest, Alice and I are quite happy to have the evening off - this parenting malarkey’s exhausting. Nev’ll be fine staying with his grandmother for the night, and it gives Mum a chance to be the doting grandmother. She does it very well.”

“I understand - especially the bit about the parenting. I swear, I would do anything for Harry, but some days I don’t know how both of us will make it through the day all in one piece. It’s nice Augusta’s happy to give you a break. I just wanted you to know that all three of you are always welcome in our home.”

“Thanks, Lily. It means a lot” said Frank with a smile that crinkled the corner of his eyes. “James! Long-time no see!” Frank beamed across the living room as James made his way towards them, “How have you been keeping, Potter?”

“Well, thank you,” James replied, “busy, though.”

“I bet. It must have been a mission getting the house tidied up, what with the length of time it had been empty. It’s looking great, by the way. Reminds me of coming here as a boy…” Frank looked around the living room, reminiscently. “It must have been hard for you, though. Such a tragedy, Mr and Mrs Potter’s passing. It was a huge loss - they were such excellent people and died well before their time. They would be proud to see the three of you living back here.”

“Thanks Frank” James said earnestly, “I really hope so.”

Frank patted him on the shoulder.

The flames in the hearth turned green again and the spinning figure of Alice Longbottom appeared, then slowed, then finally Alice skipped lithely into the room.

“Ooo, your house is beautiful!” Alice looked enthusiastically around the living room.

“Thanks, Alice” said James.

“And how are the three of you?” Alice asked warmly. “I see coming out of hiding has done you a world of good.”

“Well, you would know all about that,” said Lily. Neville had been born the week before Harry, so the Longbottom’s had gone into hiding at the same time as the Potters - the offending prophecy could have applied to either boy.

“It is great to be out of house arrest,” said Alice seriously, “but our hermitage was far less eventful than yours, thank goodness. No visits from Voldemort at all. You did so well, Lily. We’re so proud of you - You’re going to make an outstanding Auror.”

Lily blushed.

“Speaking of which,” said Frank brightly, “I hear we’re going to be seeing a lot more of you, quite soon. Ogden tells me you’re starting an internship shortly, to get your eye in before starting your study again in April?”

“Yes,” said Lily with a glace towards James “I had hoped to, everything going to plan.” Lily turned slightly, gesturing towards the door that lead to the dining room “Would you two like something to eat or drink? We have refreshments in the next room. Why don’t you let James take your coats and we can head through?”

 

o-O-o

 

Lily sipped her Butterbeer and surveyed the party. It had been a good evening so far, nearly everyone they had invited had come. Even so it wasn’t a huge gathering, not compared to the parties they’d held in the Leaky Cauldron in the past. However, when the party venue was your home, you wanted to be sure you trusted everyone attending. After all, it had been long war and old habits die hard. The important people were all there, and there were enough people to create a party atmosphere, and enough children that the kids were well occupied playing with each other and out of the adults hair. James and Sirius had set up an enchanted two-story blanket fort in the living room for the kids. It had turrets, a bubble mote and an old bed head transfigured into a drawbridge. Fortunately, it also had a cushioning charm all around it, because Charlie Weasley had already dropped Fred (or was it George?) out of one of the windows into the mote because the twin had hit Ron. Nymphadora, not to be outdone, had grown her hair to Rapunzel like lengths and was using it to lasso the pointed tops of the turrets and scale the side of the walls. James and Sirius (who were as bad as the kids) had taken up residence in one of the lower rooms of the fort, supposedly to keep an eye on Harry, but really to create various holographic creatures, made of different coloured smoke, and let off loud and interesting noises whenever it was least expected. So, there were plenty of distractions both for the young and also the young at heart (aka the immature).  

Lily had retreated to the dining room, where the possibility of adult conversation was far higher and there was less chance of being accosted by incorporeal mini hippogriffs made of smoke and purple sparks. There were several small groups of adults conversing here, Hagrid was in one corner having an animated conversation with Aelia and Arthur Weasley. Minerva McGonagall was standing not far from them, deep in quiet conversation with Pomona Sprout. Lily eyed the pair curiously. Minerva, who normally only wore wizard robes unless undercover, was dressed in a powder-blue A-line skirt, floral blouse and dove-grey knitted cardigan. She even had her hair down. Well, half-down anyway. She had clipped part of her hair away from her face with an ornate Celtic-designed clasp, but it was still the first time Lily had ever seen it out of her tidy, signature bun. When asked, Minerva had said lightly that she was taking the opportunity to wear something less formal than she could get away with at school. However, Lily had a sneaking suspicion that it was Pomona’s influence - the two of them had arrived together and were looking suspiciously bright-eyed and chummy. Pomona had always favoured muggel clothing when not at work - she was currently wearing jeans and a loose ribbed jumper - as she found muggel garb comfortable and more practical than robes, especially in the garden. It was amazing how influential the style of someone’s romantic interest could be… although perhaps Lily was reading too much into things. Still, it was intriguing, nonetheless.

Not far from the potential couple, Remus was talking with Abi Abbott, her current boyfriend Benji Grubbly, and Allen and Charlotte Bones. Lily remembered she wanted to ask Charlotte about a potion she had recommended for indigestion in children - Susan, Charlotte and Allen’s little girl, was almost the same age as Harry. Both children had been keeping their parents up with stomach problems lately, and Charlotte had promised Lily instructions for a tincture that had helped. Lily was prepared to risk being considered boring conversation by Abi and Benj, for the chance at a decent night’s sleep. She made her way over towards the group.

“Have you looked into the research on curse breaking done by Gabriel Maudire?” Benji quizzed Remus animatedly, as Lily sidled up to the group. Benji worked with Allen in the Department of International cooperation at the Ministry of Magic and had a penchant for continental magical trends.

“He’s a world leader in curse-breaking” Benji continued, “we’ve been working quite closely with his publicist recently. They want to organise for him to come on an extended tour of the United Kingdom to give seminars on his recent work ancient druidic curses. Apparently, he recently managed to lift a series of curses on a gravesite near Lyon that had been cast sometime around 300 BC. I think he’s marketing a book about it.”

“Really?” said Remus, interest piqued, “Do you know if they are planning to translate any of his work? I’ve been aware of him as an international authority on curse breaking for some time, but my French isn’t strong enough to read any of the material he has published to date.”

“Pity” said Benji, “I could give you the names of a couple of excellent translators at the ministry, if you like?”

“Benji, you don’t want to bankrupt the poor man,” Allen remonstrated, “those people charge about a galleon a sentence if they’re not under ministerial contract. Remus, you’d be better off using a Babel-fish charm. Not entirely accurate, but usually workable.”

Benji snorted, “Only if you want the translation to sound something like - ‘ _the murky cat heartfelt of the druid, gambolled dynamically betwixt the oak and the mere on the for-evening of the night of the moon was at its newest_.’”

“So, a money-saver and free entertainment?” said Remus dryly, “Sounds like a winner. Thank you both for your suggestions. I’ll look into it.”

“What are your thoughts, Lily?” Charlotte smiled over at her, “Do you speak much French?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Lily with a half-smile, “Mum always wanted me to learn, but I never had the patience. How is your work going at the apothecary, by the way Charlotte? You started back there early this year, didn’t you?”

“Very well, thank you. I miss Susan terribly on the half-days I’m working, but I can’t pretend it isn’t a relief to get out of the house for a bit and spend time with other adults. It’s also given me the chance to have a couple of experimental potions I’ve created proved. We had a couple of them approved for sale by the Healers working for the Magical Health Department at the ministry. I just heard last week - it’s very exciting.”

“Does that have anything to do with the stomach-soothing potion you were telling me about?”

“Yes, that’s one of them. We’re hoping to have it in the store in a few weeks’ time.”

“I don’t suppose I can really ask for the recipe, after all, then. Is it possible to pre-order any?”

“Don’t be silly Lily,” said Charlotte, “I don’t mind showing you the potion. I’ll have to swear you to secrecy, mind you.”

“So you’ll want me to take an unbreakable vow then?” said Lily, slyly.

“I don’t think we’ll go that far” said Charlotte, playing along with the joke, “but I might draw up a contract with a few particularly diabolic hexes attached as security…”

“Well then, I can manage that” said Lily, “my best friend’s a freelance curse breaker, after all. I hear he is shortly to know all about the latest French discoveries in the dynamic gambolling of murky cats…”

“Minerva, have you heard of Gabriel Maudire?” Benji called to the nearby professor. Minerva moved over to speak with them.

“Yes, he's a French academic, specialising in curse breaking. I've read a few of his articles - he seems to be quite proficient… in most things, anyway. Why do you ask?”

“He's planning on making a publicity tour in the UK. Remus wanted to know if any of his work is published in English.”

“Really now? That's interesting. I had no idea he was planning a trip over the channel. No, I don't think he publishes in English - he's French and doesn't believe in Encouraging the British. Most of his work is out in Latin though, and there's at least one book published in Welsh - Maudire has a soft spot for Gaelic culture in general.”

“Thanks Minerva, that’s good to know. My Latin is better than my French, and Mum's first language is Welsh - she would gladly help me translate it, if it meant I was practicing her language. I was a poor student at best when she tried to teach me as a boy.”

“So you don't think she'll charge as a small fortune per sentence then, Remus?” Charlotte teased.

“Well, not in monetary terms. I may rack up a larger debt than I can easily pay in the currency of filial obligations. However, I am almost certain to avoid unnecessary forays into the topic of heartfelt gambolling druids.”

“Gambling what?” said Manerver, flumixed.

“Gambolling druids” Lily explained, “Or was it misty cats? Whatever. Benji was just explaining to us the mysteries of the babelfish-charm.”

“These are malign allegations!” Benji objected, “the babelfish-charm is too rudimentary for the elegance of mystery. I was merely highlighting the pitfalls of it as a translation method. And I said ‘ _darksome_ cats, beloved of…”

“Bones!” Sirius hailed Allen, making his way slightly unsteadily towards the group, “and your lovely wife, Charlotte.” Sirius gave her a wink, “baby Bones has had a bit of a tumble.”

“Oh dear” said Charlotte, anxiously.

“She’s fine, though” Sirius assured them, “bit of a bump on the head, nothing much. James’s fixed it for her - but she’s a bit weepy, I thought one of you might like to go check on her.”

“I’ll do it,” said Allen, gently putting a hand on Charlotte’s elbow, “you finish catching up with Lily. Sounds like you have a few notes to swap.” Allen disappeared in the direction of the living room.

“Were you two discussing Maudire as well?” Minerva quizzed Charlotte.

“No, we were talking about a potion for curing stomach upsets I’ve recently invented and had proved for sale.”

“Really now? That’s fascinating. I didn’t know you invented potions, Charlotte.”

“Oh yes, for a long while. Professor Slughorn supervised a few of my first attempts in sixth and seventh year at Hogwarts, actually. That’s why I decided to study apothecary after school, I thought it would be a good shoe-in to the industry.”

“Did you ever consider school teaching, by any chance?” said Minerva, thoughtfully.

“No, it never really occurred to me, if I’m honest. Why do you ask?”

“Horace Slughorn has indicated that he intends to retire at the end of the year, so Albus is looking to recruit a new potions master. You strike me as someone who has the temperament for teaching - and if your potion skills are good enough to create an ingestible potion to a medical grade high enough for sale, then I dare say you have all the requisite skills, as well.”

“That’s very sweet of you to think of me,” Charlotte replied, “but I think I’ll stick to apothecary work for the moment. I can work part-time that way and if I were to take a job at Hogwarts Allen and I would need to move to Hogsmeade - there’s no way I could cope with the travel on top of a full-time job and a baby.”

“I can’t really imagine Hogwarts without Professor Slughorn,” Lily mused, “he’s something of a school institution, really. Who will nettle students by playing favourites and excluding people from exclusive parties now?”

“I’m sure the school will survive without Horace’s ministrations” said Minerva stiffly.

Lily laughed, “I’m sure. Teenagers are quite adept at forming cliques and slighting each other, after all. Slughorn was just a boon to the general cause. Do you know who Albus is approaching for the position?”

“Not officially,” said Minerva, sipping her wine thoughtfully, “but if I were to take an educated guess, I would say that he’s grooming Aelia’s cousin for the position.”

“What, _Snape_!?” said Sirius, disgusted.

“I believe so,” said Minerva, “Albus invited Mr Snape to the castle a week or two ago, I forget on what pretext. But while he was there, he took the opportunity to show him around the potions labs, and I don’t think it was just to re-acquaint him with Horace Slughorn, either. It would be just like Albus to hire Snape in order to keep an eye on him - what with all that happened during the war.”

“Well I can understand Albus wanting to keep him under thumb,” said Sirius darkly, “but hire him to teach teenagers? Is he mad? Even if Snape has fully renounced his Death Eater connections, which is a moot point if you ask me, he is also short-tempered and cruel. No one with Snape’s sadistic streak should be responsible for school children.”

“Well, quite.” said Minerva, “All things considered, I have a keen interest in finding other candidates better suited for the roll.” She looked between Lily and Charlotte, “Do let me know if you think of anyone appropriate, won’t you?”

 

It was just after midnight when the last of the guests left. The parents and kids had headed home the earliest - the last had been the Longbottoms and they had departed, with hugs and well-wishing all round, a little after ten o’clock. The rest had left in dribs and drabs after that, with Hagrid being the last to go. He had holed himself up in a corner with Sirius, reminiscing loudly about the early days of the war, getting progressively drunker and regaling anyone who would listen with off-key ballads and bad humour. In the end James - who for once was mercifully mostly sober - had to drop broad hints that it might be time for bed.

James was now going around the house, checking all the wards were in place and the doors and windows were locked, while Lily did a little perfunctory cleaning. It was just a few tidying and cleaning charms, not nearly enough to deal with the full scale of the mess, but it would make her feel better the next day. The morning after a party was enough of an anti-climax as it was, without having to wake to a house that looked like a bomb had hit it.

“James! You just about gave me heart failure,” Lily scolded her husband half-heartedly, who had just crept up behind her and wound his arms around her waist. She leaned into him - he was warm and solid, and Lily was so tired.

“So, does the house feel properly christened now?”

“Hmm,” said Lily, turning and resting her face against James’s chest, “yes… much better. It was good to see everyone. I can’t remember the last time we had a party. There were a few surprises, though. Did you know Slughorn’s retiring and Albus is considering Severus for the position of Potions Master?”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not. Minerva told me. She wasn’t too happy about it, either.”

“I’m not surprised. Both that she knew and that she wasn’t happy. Do you know she had heard that Puddlemere United had approached me about the Seeker position? I have no idea how she found out - they only talked to me about it today.”

“She’s full of surprises, Minerva, that’s for sure. I guess it comes from having spent so much time as a spy.”

“Or just an innate gift for nosiness.”

“Same dif. I suppose. What did she say about the offer?”

“Many things, none of which I want to get into tonight. We’ll talk in the morning, yes?”

“Sure.” Lily wrapped her arm around her husband’s back. He was right, any serious conversations would be best left for the morning. It was late. James ran his hand under her chin, lifting it slightly, and kissed her. His mouth was warm, tasted of butterbeer and was slightly sticky. Despite this, it felt good - comfortable, safe.

“Bed?” James raised his eyebrows, looking hopeful.

“James, I’m way too tired…” Lily complained.

“Bed is the perfect place for tired people.”

“Yes, James. For sleeping.”

“Naturally. What did you think I meant?” James gave her a wicked grin. Lily rolled her eyes.

James kissed her lightly on the forehead. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” said Lily, “but if I don’t get to bed now, I’m going to fall asleep standing and you’ll have to carry me.”

“I could levitate you if you like?”

“I only look stupid.”

“No,” James said earnestly, “you don’t. Nothing about you is stupid. You look beautiful.”

“I look tired,” said Lily, smiling. It had been a long day.

 

 


	11. Relapse

“Lily and James, the Longbottoms have been attacked. I am on my way to your house now.”

Lily was awake, out of bed with her wand in hand before the ethereal voice of Minerva's Cat Patronus had finished saying the word “attack”.

“Get Harry,” said James. He waved his wand towards their wardrobe, silently casting a charm to swap his and Lily's night clothes for fighting robes. “I'll get the boys. Meet me in the living room.” Lily nodded curtly, gathering Harry into her arms and wrapping the grumpy toddler in a blanket. She summoned the go-bag they had ready and left, the feeling of _deja vou_ welling up within her stronger even than the feeling of shock. She had thought her days of early morning wake-up calls and go-bags were over; thank Merlin she still had one. Old habits dying hard was useful after all.

 

Waiting for Minerva to arrive was hell. All four adults were restless, Lily could almost see the adrenaline and fear sparking off the three men, no one wanted to sit.  Sirius and Remus looked peaky – thank God she and James had gone easy on the booze last night. Hangovers did not improve your ability to deal with a crisis, in Lily’s personal experience.

Finally, the flames in the grate turned green and the spinning figure of Minerva appeared, stepping purposely forward into the living room.

“How many people are able to use the floo to get into your house?” She shot at James by way of a greeting.

“Mostly just the people at the party yesterday. Dumbledore and Moody can also get in - they helped us set up the new wards when we moved.”

“So, all the people who were here last night are now able to enter your house via the floo?” Minerva queried.

“Ah, yes,” said James sheepishly. Minerva swore and drew her wand. She cast her cat Patronus and instructed it:

“Go to Smith at the Ministry. Tell him I have arrived at my destination and I need him to secure the building.” The cat nodded once and disappeared. Minerva looked around the room.

“I asked Smith to temporarily disconnect your house from the floo network if needed. Considering what happened last night, it would be inadvisable for everyone who was at your party to have direct access to the house. We’ll have to set up a secure point you can apparate in and out of inside the wards, but it’s preferable to the alternative.”

Lily felt her skin chill as the blood drained from her face. “You think the Longbottoms were attacked by one of our guests?” She felt sick.

“I don’t know,” said Minerva, evenly, “but whoever attacked them knew they would be out of the house last night and roughly when they would be home. The people here had both pieces of information. So, either someone here did it, or passed on information, or the Longbottoms had an exceptionally dedicated spy who was close to them. Alice and Frank were too careful to let their movements be known by anyone outside of those closest to them. They were both Aurors, after all.”

“ _Were_ both Aurors?” Sirius snapped, his body taught, eyes sparking anger, “Minerva, what happened? Are Frank and Alice dead?”

Minerva shook her head slowly and sunk into the nearest chair. She looked at least ten years older than the fresh-faced witch who had shown up in muggle clothes to the Potter’s housewarming not more than a few hours before.

“No. They’re still alive,” she said, “or they were the last I heard. But I doubt they will be back at work any time soon. If ever.” She gestured to Sirius to sit. He did, reluctantly, and Minerva continued. “Augusta found them this morning. Frank and Alice had left Neville with her last night. She was expecting them to call on her via the floo after the party. When they didn’t, she thought that they must have got distracted and come home later than expected. Apparently, they had also had issues with their floo connection recently - something to do with the wards they had on the house. She guessed they didn’t want to wake her by aparating in and knocking on the door in the middle of the night. So, she sent a Patronus at around half seven this morning to check everything was alright and to ask when they were picking up their son. When there was no reply, she was worried and went to check on them. She found Alice and Frank comatosed on their living room floor. They had both been tortured to the point of mental and physical collapse.”

Lily gasped, James and Sirius both stood, Remus looked into space, expressionless.

“Who do we think attacked them?” James said, absentmindedly rolling the sleeves of his robes as if preparing to fight.

“We don’t know for sure,” said Minerva, “the Longbottoms were Aurors - particularly good ones, at that – so there’s a long list of very nasty people who are not fond of them. Any friends and family of former Death Eaters they’ve put away for starters. Closely followed by any Death Eaters still at large who are worried they might be discovered by them.”

“Odd that whoever did it tortured them, rather than killing them, isn’t it?” Lily observed; she was standing now, too. Harry, upset by the anger and fear of the adults, had started crying and Lily rocked him, rubbing his back absentmindedly as she talked.

Minerva gave her a sharp look. “What makes you say that?”

“Someone who is afraid of being caught by Aurors would normally aim to kill, rather than maim. Firstly, this would ensure that if Frank and Alice were on to them, then the knowledge died with them. It also eliminates the possibility that they would be able to identify their attackers at a later date. Torturing the victims without killing them implies that whoever did it was after information. It might also mean that they were interrupted by someone or something.”

Minerva nodded, “you may well be right. Your logic is sound, at any rate.”

“So,” said James, pacing, “we’re looking for dark wizards, probably Death Eaters or their associates, who needed information about something from Alice and Frank. We may also be looking for a witness who could have interrupted their torture in some way.”

“No, Potter,” said Minerva, standing, “ _we_ are not. This is a job for the Auror office, not us.”

“What!” all three men were staring at her, with a mixture of shock and outrage.

“But we’re talking about Frank and Alice here,” James spread his arms wide, frowning, “we can’t _not_ look for the bastards who attacked them.”

“You can, James Potter. And if you have any sense at all, you will.” Minerva drew herself to her full height, eyes flashing. Sirius snorted and took a breath to say something derogatory, but Remus put a hand on his elbow warningly, cutting him off.

“I have to admit Minerva,” Remus said evenly, “that if you haven’t arrived here to ask us for help with searching for the aggressors, I am unsure why you felt it was important to tell us all this in person. Not that we are not grateful for the time and effort you have taken to inform us,” he finished politely, if a little stiffly.

Minerva took a deep breath in through her nose, looking like she might explode. James, who was closest to her, took two steps back. But all that happened is Minerva let out the breath slowly and looked daggers at the three of them.

“So none of you have any idea why I might be concerned enough to come and make sure you all were still alive after two of your friends were tortured almost to death, when the last place they were seen beforehand was at a party you were hosting?” McGonagall glared at them. “Merlin and Morgan help me. I’m here to make sure that you’re alive and well, and that you remain so. Just as well, too, as Lily seems to be the only one of the four of you with any sense at all. Believe me, there will be no shortage of people looking for Frank and Alice’s attackers - your main priority now is to make sure to stay safe and to rack your brains for any relevant details from last night that may help the investigation. You do all have alibis for last night, don’t you?”

“Yes,” said Lily in a small voice, “there were guests here until just after midnight. After that we went to bed, but in couples. All of us were with at least one other person all night.”

“You think we could be suspects, then?” Remus asked.

“We better not be,” said Sirius threateningly, wand-hand clenching.

Minerva rubbed her eyes, “I hope not. By rights you shouldn't be. But Crouch will be leading the investigation personally, and he's been trigger happy of late.”

“Meaning?” Lily raised an eyebrow.

“That he will feel a need to arrest someone in order to keep up appearances politically. With any luck, it will be the people who actually committed the crime - but everyone who attended your party last night should be very careful.”

 

o-O-o

 

Remus paced the living room. The two Aurors investigating the Longbottom’s attack had arrived at Potter Manor a little less than thirty minutes after Minerva’s appearance. With the floo out of action, the pair had aparated on to the grounds. Well, as close to the grounds as they could get, with the Potters wards in place. The more senior of the two Aurors had been properly snitty about having to wait for James to allow them in. Remus had desperately wanted to point out that being allowed on private property without a warrant was a privilege, not an Auror Given Right. However, given the seriousness of the situation, he had thought better of it and bitten his tongue. Minerva McGonagall had still been with them when the wards went off and, as far as Remus was aware, she still was. However, she disillusioned herself before Aurors Umbridge and Shacklebolt had been allowed through the wards. Minerva’s disillusionment charm-work was impressive, the only other person Remus knew who could make themselves completely invisible with that spell was Dumbledore.  

Remus wondered how Lily’s interview was going. Umbridge and Shacklebolt had heavily sound-proofed kitchen and were using the space to grill each of them one at a time. James and Sirius had already been questioned - they hadn’t been allowed back to see Remus and Lily afterwards. Presumably Umbridge thought keeping the witnesses separate to be preferable, probably to prevent possible collusion. Remus didn’t know Rudolph Umbridge, the senior Auror leading the investigation. The only person Remus had meet with that surname had been a short, saccharine, malevolently amphibious looking Slytherin girl, who had been a year behind them at school. She had been called something like Doris, or Delilah, or was it Dorothy?  He thought she had a reputation as being something of a bully, but he couldn’t be sure. Remus had never paid her much mind. He hoped that if this Umbridge was any family of hers, that he was significantly smarter and less unctuous than Doris - whoever had hurt Alice and Frank needed to be caught and quickly.

“Lupin,” Auror Umbridge poked his head around the living room door and beckoned to Remus, “this way please.” Remus followed him down the corridor into the tidy, stone-flagged kitchen.

“Your wand, thanks,” said Umbridge, hand outstretched. “Standard questioning procedure,” he added, at Remus’s obvious discomfort. “We will give it back at the end of the interview.” Remus reluctantly handed over his wand and walked into the room. He sat on a chair near the large family table, noting that as well as Umbridge, there were two Hit Wizards and the junior Auror Shacklebolt. Was it normal to bring this many people to question potential witnesses? Surely the might of the Ministry could be more appropriately used elsewhere, they couldn’t possibly be over-staffed what with the War and the current troubles. Umbridge cleared his throat and Remus turned towards him, all attention.

“Remus Lupin, you are under arrest as a suspected accomplice to recent attacks on two Aurors, Frank and Alice Longbottom.”

“Pardon?” Remus just looked at Umbridge, surely he had heard wrong.

“We will transport you securely to a holding cell for now, until arrangements can be made to transfer you to Azkaban to await trial.” Umbridge turned and the two Hit Wizards stepped in, to flank Remus on both sides. Remus stood, “On what grounds are you arresting me?” Remus asked, heatedly, “You haven’t even asked any questions yet. What if I have an alibi?”

“You’ve been working on one, have you?” Said Umbridge with a smirk, “I don’t need to talk to you to know you’re scum, Lupin. That much is clearly apparent.” Remus reeled at this, speechless.

“Actually, Rudolph, Lupin has a point,” the junior Auror said, twisting his wand absentmindedly in his hands, “it would be more usual to quest….”

“Shut up Shacklebolt,” Umbridge spat, “and listen to your elders and betters for a change.” The junior, Shacklebolt, flinched and looked at the floor. The Hit Wizards grasped Remus’s upper arms and frog-marched him out of the kitchen. Everything felt surreal, like a nightmare he was about to be shaken out of. Remus thought of waking this morning warm in bed, Sirius curled in front of him, the small serrations of Sirius’s spine tucked in against him, pressing against Remus’s chest. It had only been an hour or so before. Remus thought of the day they had planned together, all of it now to be left undone. This could not be happening.


	12. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last full chapter I have written, currently. However, I should have some extra time to write coming up over the next couple of weeks IRL, so I'm hoping to finish off another couple of chapters shortly.

Lily cradled a squirming Harry and tried to admonish him in an undertone. 

"Want to get down!" Harry said in clear, very understandable voice. Lily cursed internally- how come the nineteen-month-old could only talk intelligibly when you didn't want him to?

"Shh now, darling. We need to be nice to Mrs Lupin. She’s had a big shock."

"Want to get down!!"

Lily winced, "I'm sorry Mrs Lupin, we might need to pop outside for a moment. I think Harry could do with a short walk."

Lily and Sirius had come to the Lupins strait after their visit to the central Magical Law Enforcement Office. They had managed to glean from the guards there that Remus was still waiting to be transferred to Azkaban. The guards wouldn’t tell them why - although fortunately they didn’t need them to. Minerva had overheard Remus’s interrogation in its entirety. However, they had needed someone to tell them officially what was going on, so they could officially complain about it. James was currently at the Ministry doing exactly that, with all the sweet-talking charisma of a man brought up in a well-respected, wealthy, pure-blood family. Possibly even the odd greased palm, Lily suspected. James would hate it. But desperate times called for desperate means and James was the only one with both the background and the reputation. Lily was muggle-born and Sirius was gloriously unpopular, either for being a Black, or if that wasn’t a problem, for being a _disowned_ Black. He had taken some comfort in being able to be with Remus’s parents, though - Moony would appreciate the two of them being there. Which is how Lily ended up standing, cradling grumpy Harry on her right hip, in the middle of Mr and Mrs Lupin’s living room. She shot Mrs Lupin an apologetic smile and made to walk towards the door.

“Don’t go Lily,” Mrs Lupin stood, her face ashen but her eyes kind “Harry’s welcome to stretch his legs in here. It’s safer indoors than out.”

“Thanks Mrs Lupin,” Lily said, warily eyeing the wide array of vases, picture frames and ceramic ornaments that adorned the Lupin’s living room, many of which were at height Harry could easily reach, “but I’m sure just a short walk would be safe.” 

“Don’t be silly,’ Mrs Lupin waved a hand in indulgent dismissal of Lily’s obvious concerns, “you son won’t break anything.” 

Internally, Lily’s jaw dropped, “Ahhm, he might, actually....” her mind had jammed. What was a tactful way of wording ‘my son will definitely break bloody _everything_?’ 

Mrs Lupin smiled. She picked up a delicate blue-and-white china vase full of dried, purple statice, lifting it high over the corner of the hearth, and dropped it. The vase shattered - silently - spraying purple, papery flowers across the floor. Then, as quickly as it had happened, the process reversed - like watching a muggle video rewind. The flowers and the shards of porcelain bounced backwards into shape and twisted themselves back into a little vase of flowers sitting innocently on the living room floor. Mrs Lupin smiled and bent to pick it up. Sirius whistled. “A rubber charm,” he said, sounding impressed, “I haven’t seen one of those in years. Where did you learn that?”

“A dear friend of mine taught it to me when Remus was about Harry’s age, to stop ‘ _repario_ ’ and ‘don’t touch that!’ being my only conversation points.” She gave Lily an impish grin, “We still have it cast on anything remotely breakable in here - Harry will be just fine. Don’t bother yourself about him, love, I know what little ones are like. Arcio children’s toys.” There was a rattle in the hall and a battered cardboard box flew into the room and landed in Mrs Lupin’s outstretched hands. She emptied an assortment of toys carefully onto the floor - there were dolls, toy cauldrons, a fake wand and a set of moving miniature animals, including a hippogriff, a unicorn and rather stunted-looking dragon. Harry grabbed the toy wand excitedly, poking the unicorn with it. The unicorn turned pink. Harry cheered and laughed, thoroughly delighted. “Say ‘thank you Mrs Lupin for letting me play with your toys,’” Lily prompted. Harry ignored her. “Thank you, Mrs Lupin,” Lily tried again. Harry looked up at her briefly.

“Ta, Mrs Moony,” he said.

“You’re most welcome,” said Mrs Lupin, while Lily rolled her eyes and Sirius snorted. 

“I can’t imagine Remus this small,” said Sirius fondly, “was he a quiet child?”

Mrs Lupin laughed “Hardly. Remus was on the go and into everything when he was Harry’s age. Very outgoing. Walked early, ran early, talked early - climbed everything. Had magical tantrums every other day. There’s a reason we only had one child - Remus was a handful,” Mrs Lupin smiled, eyes sparkling with nostalgia. “Just remember that I warned you, Sirius, if you two ever decide to have kids.” Sirius blushed.

“I can’t imagine Remus as a rowdy child,” Lily laughed, “he was always so quiet at school.”

“Well,” said Mrs Lupin, drawing her robes around her and holding her elbows close, “that was after he was bitten. It changed him, and I don’t just mean in the obvious ways, either. He became quiet; withdrew.”

“His rowdy side still peeks through from time to time,” Sirius observed with a wicked half-grin, “did so especially at school.”

“He was always too easily lead,” said Mrs Lupin, deadpan, without missing a beat.

“Touché,” Sirius bowed.

Mrs Lupin walked over to the window, looking out on the grey day. “Those bastards in Law Enforcement better not hurt my boy,” she said suddenly, with venom, “or I’ll hex the gonads off them myself.” Sirius moved to stand beside her, resting a hand lightly on her shoulder.

“Believe me, if they hurt Remus, I’ll hold them down while you do it.”

Suddenly, the flames in the living room grate turned green. Harry made a whimpering noise and ran to Lily, who picked him up. But it was just James. He stepped lightly into the room, smiling at everyone and giving Mrs Lupin a half-bow. James could be old-fashioned when he was on his best behaviour, it was a remnant of his pure-blood upbringing. 

“Minerva will be here in a minute. I hope you don’t mind Mrs Lupin - she was quite keen to have a word with you.”

“Quite alright,” said Mrs Lupin with a polite smile that masked her nerves, “Minerva is always welcome in our home. Do you have any news about my boy, James?”

“Yes - both good and bad, I’m afraid. Dumbledore, Minerva and I have managed to persuade the Ministry that, given the circumstances, it would be inappropriate to send Remus to Azkaban. However, the bad news is that they are insisting he stay under house arrest.”

“On what charges?” said Lily, sharply.

“They haven’t charged him with anything. From what I understand, they’re holding him because he saw Frank and Alice directly before they left the party and they believe he has a shady character. In other words, he’s a werewolf and they’re prejudiced.”

“But they can’t! Remus hasn’t done anything - he even has an alibi for the time Frank and Alice were attacked!” Lily was furious.

“Unfortunately, they can,” James rubbed his eyes and frowned, “the Ministry has yet to lift the ‘state of emergency’ regulations they put in place during the war. Under decree 209 they may detain any person, or being, they suspect of violent criminal intent indefinitely, until such point as they are tried before the Wizengamot.”

“So, they are imprisoning innocent people indefinitely, without trial?” 

“Well, not everyone they imprison under MoM Decree 209 is necessarily innocent. But yes, pretty much.”

Sirius punched his right fist so hard into his left hand that his knuckles popped, and Lily let out a hiss of anger, lost for words at the blatant injustice of the situation. James collapsed into an armchair, running a hand through his hair, exhaustion rolling off him in waves.

“Here comes Minerva” he said, as the flames turned green once more. 

Minerva McGonagall stepped from the fireplace brushing ash from her robes and looking grim. 

“Hope, thank you for your hospitality,” she said with a thin smile, “is it just you at home, or is Lyle also here?”

“Lyle’s still at work, but he’ll be home soon. He tried to get off early, but his boss is a bit of a tyrant, truth be told.”

Minerva nodded. “I’m guessing James has told you that Auror Umbridge is still insisting that Remus be kept under house arrest?”

Hope nodded.

“Obviously we’ll try and fight it, but with the emergency regulations in place it’s difficult to make headway. I have offered to have him stay in my home in Hogsmeade, if Remus is agreeable.”

“That’s very kind of you,” said Hope, “but Lyle and I are happy to have him stay with us. We have a secure cellar here - Remus has used it for full moons in the past.”

“I think Remus would probably prefer to stay with you,” Minerva agreed, “but unfortunately Auror Umbridge feels the location of your cottage - near as it is to muggle dwellings - to be unsuitable. He also won’t allow Remus to stay at the Potters. Some rot about the building being not sufficiently secure. He is being purposefully awkward if you ask me - Umbridge would prefer that Remus go to Azkaban and so is making any other options as difficult as possible. However, my house is secure, unplottable, and is in a wizarding area. I am also happy to vouch for him, and as a war veteran and current member of the Wizengamot, that carries enough weight that even Umbridge couldn’t object. Although believe me, he did try. However, he is insisting that Remus stays in the Ministry holding cells until a thorough inspection of the house is completed. They shouldn’t be able to hold Remus there for more than a week, though. Space is at a premium and there is a limit to how long they are allowed to keep prisoners in the cells, which is fortunate.” 

“Thank you,” said Hope, simply. Suddenly she looked old and frail and her hands trembled.

“My pleasure,” said Minerva with a grim smile, “I’m glad to be able to help. With your permission, I’ll wait here with you until Lyle returns from work and then the three of us can go back to mine. I’d like to show you around and make sure I have everything Remus will need for his stay.” Hope nodded. Minerva smiled, crossing the room and wrapping Hope Lupin in a hug. “We’ll get through this, don’t worry. Remus will be free as a bird again in no time.” Minerva stepped back again, still smiling. “Tea, I think is in order. Lily, will you help me? Hope - you sit down. It’s been quite a day.”

Lily nodded and passed Harry to his father, following Minerva out of the living room and towards the kitchen. As soon as they were clear of the others Minerva stopped, casting a muffliato charm to ensure they wouldn’t be overheard.

“A word?” Minerva pinned Lily with a look. Lily stopped short, surprised, but nodded.

“The night Voldemort attacked your family in Godric’s Hollow, you hit him with a killing curse, is that correct?”

“Yes,” said Lily, stunned. Of all the topics of conversation she was expecting, this was not something that she had thought would come up.  

“Do you remember what happened after that?” Minerva looked at Lily, earnestly. 

Lily closed her eyes, replaying the scene. She remembered Voldemort staggering back from his own refracted curse, her aiming and firing her own. But then the memory blurred. 

“Voldemort fell and there was an explosion” Lily said slowly, “I ducked and rolled. The next thing I remember is trying to dig James out of the rubble.”

“Do you remember what happened to Voldemort’s body?”

Lily shook her head. “No, I don’t. I guess it was under the rubble in the door. But my focus was on helping James. Voldemort was dead - I didn’t really think more about it than that.”

“When Albus and I went to collect the body, there were some… abnormalities.” Minerva rubbed her eyes, “I thought at the time it was from the explosion and natural decay. But I’m starting to wonder… I had hoped you might remember what he looked like directly after the event. But it doesn’t matter - your reaction was understandable.” 

“What kind of abnormalities?” 

“There was a body, unmistakably Voldemort’s, but it wasn’t like any corpse I have ever seen - and I have had the misfortune to have seen far too many in recent years. I don’t know how to describe it, it was somehow less substantial, almost withered. As though some important part of it was missing - I can’t explain.” Minerva looked into the distance, lost in thought. Then suddenly she was back, pinning Lily to the wall with a sharp look, “Do not mention any of this to anyone, do you hear? Not even James. Am I clear? The fewer people who know this the better - it’s not safe to know too much about Voldemort’s death.”

“I won’t” the tips of Lily’s fingers were trebling, but she forced herself to remain calm, “but I don’t understand why it’s still dangerous.” 

Minerva gave her a long, calculating look before replying. “Some of his followers don’t believe he truly died. It’s thought that’s why the Longbottoms were attacked - at least, the evidence suggests that was the case. Be careful.”

Lily nodded. She felt sick. “Is it possible?”

“I don’t know,” said Minerva grimly, “but I really hope not. If he did survive, he would currently be bodiless. So I guess that’s something.” Lily shivered. Even a bodiless Voldemort was frightening - she had rather gotten used to the idea of him being completely gone. She didn’t at all like the thought that this might not be the case.

“And Lily,” Minerva continued, “promise me you’ll continue with your Auror training as planned, won’t you?”

“What?”

Minerva gave her a smile, “Don’t worry about James. He’ll come around - let me know if there are problems, especially of the quidditch variety.” Minerva gave her a wink, “Believe me, we need as many good Aurors at the moment as we can get and, mark my word, you’ll be a good one.” 

 

o-O-o

 

 Lily shuffled in next to James, where he was sitting propped up against the headboard of Mr and Mrs Lupin’s guest bed, and lent back against him, enjoying the warmth and security of her husband’s strong, slight, wiry frame. James wound an arm around her and Lily rested her head against him, snuggling in the hollow where his collarbone met his neck. Remus’s parents had persuaded the four of them to stay the night and Lily was glad of it. After the events of the day she didn’t want to go back to expanse of Potter Manor, especially not when they would be haunted by the gaping hole of Remus’s absence. It was hard, being frightened again. Hard to wonder how much Remus was suffering in his holding cell, whether he was warm enough. Whether or not the guards would rough him up, or the other inmates, for that matter. Lily wondered who, if anyone, at their party had betrayed them. She tried not to think of Frank and Alice, bright and smiling, stepping out of the floo into the Manor’s living room less than thirty hours ago. A day-long eternity, back when they were all still foolish enough to think they were safe. That was the hardest, in the end. The return to this familiar, aching fear. The return to not knowing if her loved ones were safe, not knowing which of her friends could be trusted. Fear had been a constant in their lives for so long that Lily had become numb to it; then for four glorious months they had been free. Free to go on with their lives, free to be happy. The return to fear was so hard that Lily thought it might break her. She almost wished she had never been released from the weight of it, somehow that would have been easier to bear. She lent her face against James’s chest, slowly breathing in the scent of him, his warmth and his strength. 

“I talked to Albus today,” said James, gently, “he wants us to go back into hiding. He’s worried that whoever hurt Frank and Alice might be after us as well.”

Lily stiffened, painful waves of _deja vu_ engulfing her. Back into hiding, back under fidelius, back with her little family stuck under house arrest until other people managed to rescue them.

“What did you tell him?” Her voice was measured, calm.

“That I would have to talk to you.”

“Do you think we should?”

James wrapped her more tightly in his arms before replying, burying his face in her hair. Lily could feel his breath warm against her scalp. “I don’t know,” he said, eventually, “it didn’t really work out for us too well last time, though, did it?”

“We could actually use Sirius as our secret keeper this time, though. Not scummy Pettigrew.” 

“True. I know he would do it for us. But then that puts him in danger, too. Remus as well, if it comes to it. That’s the pinch of a fidelius - you can only use the people you love the most to keep your secrets, but by trusting them you make them a target. I fucking hate this war. It turns us all against each other, stops us from trusting our friends and makes us hurt even the people we love the most.”

“So, we don’t let it,” Lily turned and kissed her husband lightly on the mouth, “we won’t go into hiding. We’ll ward the house as best we can and work with our friends to keep them safe. We followed Albus’s advice last time and all that happened is we lost Peter, nearly caused Sirius and Remus to split up, and even then, Voldemort still found us. Whatever we do, it can’t possibly get worse than that, right?”

“You sure? I mean, I don’t want to go into hiding, but it does seem like the most rational choice.” James looked at her, earnestly, uncertainty etched into every line of his expression. 

“Yep, I’m sure.” Lily smiled, “You see, a soppy fool once pointed out to me, that as irrational as trust and love are, we need them to function. That he couldn’t live in a world where he couldn’t trust his friends. I’m starting to see his point.”

James pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.

“Oi, you. That hurts,” Lily complained, laughing.

“Did I ever mention how much I love you?”

Lily looked up at James, his eyes were sparkling with as-yet unshed tears. “I think you might have, once or twice,” she said rolling her eyes and kissing him. James could be an arrogant berk when the mood took him, but Lily could always count on him to be right about the important things. Merlin and Morgan but she loved him. 

“By the way, I owled Pud U today to turn down their offer of a place on the team.”

“What?!” Lily started, shocked.

“Well, with everything else that happened today, it seemed like the sensible decision. It would be difficult to be as security focused as we’ll need to be if I was playing professionally. Also, Minerva may have threatened to hex my balls off, were I to get in the way of your Auror career.”

“Damn it James Potter, _I_ threatened to hex your balls off if you got in the way of my Auror career. What makes Minerva special?”

“Well,” James rubbed the back of his neck, “Professor McGonnagal really was never one for idle threats, judging by the many absolutely _foul_ detentions she gave me at school. Also, you happen to have a vested in my balls remaining intact and on my person.”

“Hmm. You hope.” 

Bloody hell, thought Lily. She wasn’t sure whether to be flattered that Minerva had taken such a personal interest in her career, or pissed off that she was interfering in her and James’s domestic disputes.

“Minerva also offered to see if she could set me up with some paid work as a kid’s quidditch coach. Thought it might help me get my eye back in the game. I might take her up on it, if we’re able to work things out security wise. If that’s OK?”

“Sounds like something that could work. Can we talk about it more in the morning?”

“Sure. No problem. You ready for bed, then?”

Lily yawned. James laughed and dimmed the lights to almost nothing with a flick of his wand. Both of them settled under the covers.

“Lil”

“Yeh?”

“Take care of yourself, won't you? I don’t know that I could survive all life’s crap without you.”

“Like I could without you.”

“My money would be on you to cope.”

“Wanker.”

“Love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last full chapter I have written, currently. However, I should have some extra time to write coming up over the next couple of weeks IRL, so I'm hoping to finish off another couple of chapters shortly.
> 
> If you've enjoyed reading this so far, or have some constructive criticism you would like to share, please leave a comment. I love hearing from the people who read my work.


	13. Orion’s Third Brightest Star…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> This chapter contains a torture scene. It's at the very end of the chapter and I've put a note just before the start of the section that it's in. If you don't want to read that bit, then I'll make sure to briefly recap the most important plot points at the start of the next chapter.
> 
> One of the minor characters is also openly homophobic, sexist and generally a bigot.

Remus shuffled to the back to the MoM holding cell. It was one of the rooms purpose-built to quarantine werewolves during the full moon and, with the full moon weeks away, it had been empty and available. The cell was small, with stone walls and a grid of silver bars across the front that had burned Remus when he had stumbled into them, when the Hit Wizards had shoved him into the cell the day before. The space smelled of blood, urine and despair, but it wasn’t Azkaban and that was something. Remus wondered who had managed to talk Umbridge into allowing him to stay here. James, Sirius and his parents would have tried - he was sure of that. He wondered if they had managed to persuade Dumbledore to speak for him; Remus hoped so. Albus was a strong advocate if you could manage to get him, but even after all Remus had sacrificed to the Order, he had no idea if Dumbledore trusted him enough to vouch for him in the current circumstances. Or whether he was worth enough to the old man to be bothered with now the war was over.  

It was quiet in the Ministry of Magic dungeons, the light flickered from the sconce on the wall outside his cell. Somewhere there must be a guard, but Remus hadn’t seen them since breakfast, two or three hours before. Along the corridor, out of sight, was the soft sound of a heavy door opening on well-oiled hinges, followed by footsteps. The steps were quick and light. A woman, Remus thought, or a particularly small man - whoever it was, they weren’t taller than five foot six, and didn’t weigh much. As the footsteps drew nearer, Remus could also make out the rustle of satin robes. Not the guards then, their uniform was woollen. He could also smell the person, they had a sharp, acrid scent that was oddly familiar, but didn’t match any of the Ministry employees he had met so far. The footsteps stopped a few feet from Remus’s cell, the person fidgeting, as though they were checking to see if anyone else was in sight. Remus was standing now, his skin pricking, he wanted his wand. He was wondering whether the guards would come if he called loudly enough, when the person standing just out of sight spoke, casting a silencing spell. It was a woman, her voice soft, chocolatey and dangerous. Bellatrix Lestrange stepped into the space directly in front of Remus’s cell. She was wrapped in scarlet and black Auror robes and her eyes sparkled with a kind of joyous anger.

“Hello, scum,” she crooned. 

 

o-O-o

 

Lily’s eyes flashed, green as a killing curse, as she approached the citizen’s reception desk for the Ministry of Magical Law Enforcement.

“Excuse me,” she said, all ice and politeness, slapping the paperwork she had been given down on the desk in front of her, “but there appears to be an error on this form.” The rather board looking office-witch behind the counter adjusted her glasses and scanned the offending document.

“This is a visiting request form for one detainee Remus Lupin,” said the witch, looking over her spectacles at Lily, and then at Sirius who was standing, wearing a rather embarrassed expression, at Lily’s right elbow. “Is Remus not the detainee you wanted paperwork for?”

“Remus is the person we wish to submit an application to see,” said Lily evenly, “the problem isn’t the name of the detainee. The error is the wording around the gender of the people allowed to apply to see him.” Lily leaned forward, pointing out the section that read _‘select relationship to the detainee’_. “You see, the only options given here are mother, father, girlfriend and wife.”

“That’s correct,” said the office-witch, “friends and other non-relatives are not allowed visiting time with detainees of the Ministry of Magic.”

“I am aware of that and, as unfair as I find that rule to be, it is not the problem. The problem is that the category _boyfriend_ and _husband_ do not appear on this form.”

"I'm sorry," the office-witch quirked an eyebrow at Lily quizzically, "I assumed that with the name Remus, that the inmate was a man. Should I have given you paperwork for a female prisoner instead?"

"No," said Lily hotly.

“Lil, it’s OK,” Sirius rested a hand lightly on her shoulder. The witch behind the counter looked up at him, a sudden ripple of shocked understanding spreading across her face. 

“You’re the Black heir,” she said, bluntly.

“I used to be,” Sirius glanced towards the door.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was you who was apli… I mean, I had heard rumours you were a bit… I’m not prejudiced or anything, you understand. What people do in the privacy of their own homes, and all that…” the witch blushed and suddenly found she urgently had to shuffle some papers on her desk. When she looked up again, she fixed Lily with a kind smile. 

“Mrs Potter, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” said Lily, taken aback.

“Pardon me for presuming, but it isn’t the most common surname for someone your age, do you happen to be Mrs _James_ Potter, by any chance?”

“James Potter is my husband, yes.” Lily frowned. She hated being called by her marital status, rather than her own name, but one fight with the woman handling the Lupin’s visitor applications was probably enough to be getting on with. 

“I read about you in the _Prophet_ , quite the little war-hero, I understand.” Lily blushed. The office-witch offered her hand.

“Mrs Selwyn, at your service.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mrs Selwyn, I’m sure.”

“Now Mrs Potter, I know your own family is, ahh, rather _new_ to the wizarding world… but you need to understand that for witches and wizards marriage really means something. It’s a sacred institution, a bond for life. Now, although I’m sure that Mr Black and Mr Lupin are very fond of one another, and if they’ve had something of a dalliance, well. Boys will be boys and I’m not one to judge…” Mrs Selwyn batted her eyes in Sirius’s direction, “but you can’t expect Mr Black to be treated the same as if he was Mr Lupin’s _wife_. That would be completely inappropriate.” Mrs Selwyn gave a tinkling laugh and patted Lily on the arm in what she obviously thought was a consoling manner. 

“But the visitor doesn’t have to be married to the prisoner. Girlfriends are als…”

“Thank you, Mrs Selwyn,” Sirius stepped up next to Lily, placing an arm around her shoulders, “you have been very helpful. Mrs Potter and I will be going now.”

“See,” said Mrs Selwyn brightly, “I knew someone with your upbringing would understand.”

“Oh yes,” said Sirius, cutting off Lily’s protest with a glare in her direction, “I am fully aware of Ministry’s position on the matter. Thank you for your time, and please give my regards to your husband. Kurt was an old friend of Regulus’s, I believe.” Sirius gave Mrs Kurt Selwyn a small, but stiffly formal, bow and ushered Lily out into the hall. 

 

o-O-o

Bellatrix stood in front of Remus’s cell, flowing robes back lit by the sconce opposite. Pale skinned in the flickering light, shadows pooling in the sockets of her deep-set eyes, running under her high cheekbones, hollowing out the curves of her face. She looked emaciated; wraith-like.

“So you’re the beast that’s been tupping my good-for-nothing cousin,” Bellatrix hissed, “and raping the Black family’s good name in the process.” Bellatrix flicked a stinging hex idly at Remus’s face. Remus side-stepped it, instinctively reaching for his wand - but it was gone, confiscated. 

“No one here to hear you scream, wolf.” She shot another hex, Remus dodged, his hands sweating. This was a small cell and, as quick as he was, there was a limit to what he could avoid sans wand.

“Quick little bugger, aren’t you?” Bellatrix laughed, “mind you, when you spend the war skulking around wolf-packs, I guess you would end up light on your feet.”

Remus froze for a minute, shocked.

“Oh, I know all about you and Dumbledore’s little illegal band of vagabonds. His blessed _Order of the Flaming Chicken_. Not happy to let law enforcement do its job, were you? Had to go around casting illegal hexes and unforgivable curses left, right and centre. The Wizengamot should have thrown the bloody book at the lot of you. Mind you, You-Know-Who _et al_ killed off so many of your friends that I guess they thought it wasn’t worth the bother. Me though, I don’t stand for law-breaking. _Incarcerous_.”

Remus was tied, hands above him, to the back of his cell. Bellatrix gave a second flick of her wand, binding his knees and ankles.

“Where’s the traitor Pettigrew, wolf?” she hissed.

 

o-O-o

 

“What the hell, Sirius?” said Lily, fuming. Sirius still had his arm around her shoulders and was virtually frog-marching her away from the Magical Law Enforcement’s Citizens Office, down the ministry corridors in the direction of the atrium. 

“Just don’t, OK. Not here.” Sirius’s voice was clipped and measured. 

“So, we’re just going to leave then? Let that kind of blatant injustice slide? They won’t let you see Remus when you’re basically his husband, but if you’d been some floozy of a witch Remus had spent three dates with, that would have been OK?”

“Fuck Lily, do you think I don’t know?” Sirius hissed, “I have to deal with this kind of crap on a daily basis. Same as you have to deal with assholes, with a fraction of your magical ability, treating you like you can’t work out how office paperwork functions, because of who your parents were. Selwyn couldn’t have been more insulting to you if she had called you a mudblood to your face. I think it might have almost been preferable. _Quite the little war hero_ indeed.”

“That’s different,” said Lily, mulishly.

“Really? It’s different to treat you like an idiot because your muggle born, than it is to treat me like I’m not in love with Remus because I’m gay? It’s all hate and prejudice Lil, the frills it’s wrapped in are just in different colours.” 

“And it won’t ever change, if we don’t confront it.”

“Lily,” Sirius stopped in the corridor and turned towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Do you know what would have happened if we hadn’t left that office just now? You would have ended up hexing Selwyn for being homophobic and I would have punched her for being a pure-blood bigot. We would have both ended up in the clink on assault charges and Mrs Selwyn and the Ministry would have continued to be every bit as backward as they currently are. Oh, and Hope and Lyle probably would have had their applications to see Rem revoked, just because Selwyn would have been in a snit.”

“So, you’re saying that the scenario probably would have ended up requiring us having to deal with even more of the Ministry’s rotten paperwork,” said Lily, with a half-grin. Sirius let out a short bark of a laugh and crumpled slightly, pulling Lily into a hug.

“We’re a pair, aren’t we,” he said, finally shaking his head. “How about we go get a cuppa and calm down? Hope and Lyle shouldn’t be far off, they should be finished talking to Rem’s lawyer in a bit, we could wait for them. There’s an almost alrightish tea shop just to one side of the Atrium. What do you think?”

“Sounds like a plan.” 

 

o-O-o

 

_Note:_

_This section contains a torture scene. If you wish to skip it, I will make sure the main plot points that also come up are covered again briefly in the next chapter._

 

“Where’s the traitor Pettigrew, wolf?”

Bellatrix's wand was trained on Remus's face, small sparks arcing from it like static electricity in a drought.

Remus was stunned. How would he know where Pettigrew was? And why on earth did Bellatrix care? 

Bellatrix gave her wand a small, fluid flick. Remus winced, gasping as a long gash opened along his right cheek.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know."

Another flick and a second gash opened, this time on the left side of his face, mirroring the first.

"Let me jog your memory, scum. Peter Pettigrew, old school buddy of yours,  disappeared late last October. We know he's alive, so where is he?"

"If I knew, he wouldn't still be alive. Not after what he did to the Potters."

Bellatrix let out a short, barking laugh. Sirius's laugh. The hair on the back of Remus's neck prickled at the incongruity of hearing it coming from his torturer’s mouth. 

"So that's the game we're playing is it? Have it your way, wolf." Bellatrix dropped the aim of her wand to Remus's chest. " _Crusio_."

Pain exploded through Remus, knocking his feet from under him, his full weight falling onto his bound wrists, the burn of the curse so overwhelming that he barely registered his skin tearing beneath the ropes, blood running down his forearms. Suddenly the pain reseeded, and Remus scrambled to stand on his bound legs, finally managing to prop himself against the wall, shaking and bleeding. His robes clung wetly to his legs and smelled pungent. Remus realised dully that he had soiled himself. 

“Where’s Peter Pettigrew,” Bellatrix’s voice throbbed with anger, her wand still trained on his chest. Remus didn’t know where Peter was, didn’t know how to answer.

“No one’s seen him since October. Not even his Mum has heard from the bastard.”

_“Crusio.”_

This time when the pain died back, Remus didn’t even have the power even to think. He hung from his wrists, limp against the stone wall of his cell, sobbing dryly. Bellatrix was laughing.

“Merlin’s tits. Maybe you really don’t know. Didn’t trust you enough to tell, did he? I had no idea Pettigrew was that smart. Mind you I guess blood will out in the end. Even if you don’t have to be Pureblood to work out that confiding in a werewolf’s a stupid move.” Bellatrix flicked her wand at the cell door, it clicked and opened. “Speaking of familial relations,” she said with a smile that could draw blood, “I know you and Sirius are sleeping together scum, and even though my disinherited good-for-nothing cousin is as big a blood traitor as they come, he was still born a Black.”

Bellatrix took a few steps into the cell. Remus shuffled his feet under him, gaining enough of a footing to stand, taking his weight back off his wrists and onto his feet. Wherever Bellatrix was going with this, it was bad - very, very bad - and Remus needed as many of his wits about him as he could muster.

“Did you know, wolf,” Bellatrix crooned, rolling her wand between the tips of her fingers, “as late as 1860 it was common practice to sterilise werewolves? Quite a sensible precaution, don’t you think, to stop undesirable breeding between humans and wolves? Such a shame the practice was discontinued. However, here we have such an excellent opportunity to reinstate it.”

So that was Bellatrix’s game. She meant to castrate him for the crime of having carnal knowledge of one of her kin. Remus felt his heart tighten in fear, a new wave of adrenaline hitting him, dulling the pain in his body and sharpening his senses. His eyes darted around the cell, looking desperately for an escape. He watched in slow motion as Bellatrix cast a charm that ripped his prison robes from neck to toe, and another that vanished his soiled underwear. She was close now, Remus could smell her anger, could almost feel her breath against his skin. And then he smelled it, a slight freshening of the air around them, as though someone had opened a door. Remus could hear footsteps, slightly muffled by Bellatrix’s silencing charm, but still clear enough to suggest that the spell had slipped slightly and whoever was coming down towards them might be able to hear them.

“Prison break!” Remus yelled, as loudly as he could, “Prisoner on the loose! Help! Come quick!”

The footsteps sped to a run. Bellatrix swore softly and, twisting into apparition, she disappeared.  Seconds later the fresh-faced Auror who had been with Umbridge during his arrest appeared. He looked down at Remus in horror. Quickly he stepped into the cell, looping one arm around Remus and vanishing his restraints. Remus stumbled against him, the numbness in his hands turning to pain that arcing through his wrists and arms.

“Who did this to you, Lupin?” The Auror’s voice was harsh, but with worry not spite. “Who was it who tortured you?” 

Remus felt a surge of relief hit him, making him light-headed. This man was going to do everything he could to keep him safe. Remus didn’t know how he knew, but he was sure of it.

“Bellatrix Lestrange,” Remus croaked hoarsely and then fainted. 

 


	14. Recuperation

Gradually Remus became aware that he was rising out of a deep sleep, consciousness returning to him in slowly but steadily, like light at daybreak. It had been an odd sleep, he thought, although he couldn’t put his finger on exactly why it had been odd. He felt comfortable enough, his bed soft and his sheets were clean and crisp. The room he was in smelled of disinfectant potions, a pleasant mix of sage, lavender and lemon. It all felt very familiar, but for a minute Remus couldn’t place where he was. Remus was in a hospital wing. He had to be; only hospitals smelled and sounded like this. Remus’s childhood and adolescence had been littered with hospital stays. But why was he here now? Then, in a rush, he remembered - Bellatrix had bound, hurt, and threatened him; Shacklbolt had saved him. Remus’s eyes snapped open and he tried to sit, to move, to get up. But gentle hands caught him, holding him, pushing him back down to the bed.

“Moony, it’s OK. You’re OK. I’m here.”

Remus looked up. Sirius was sitting with him, his face was pale and drawn and his dark hair falling into his eyes was lank and needed a wash. Despite this, Padfoot’s expression was soft and tender, full of love. 

“You’ve been knocked out for a while,” Sirius said quietly, smoothing the sheets over him, cupping his shoulder in one hand, protectively. “The healers gave you a sleeping draft when you arrived, they thought it was best for you to rest. Your condition means you heal a bit slower than most other wizards.” Remus nodded. Werewolves were tough, but when injured they responded more slowly to healing charms and potions. 

“We’re in St Mungos?”

“Yeh, that’s right.”

“Am I in a secure ward?”

“No, just an individual room. You have a personal escort, though.” Sirius glanced up towards the sleepy Hit-Wizard on guard duty at the door. Remus nodded.

“Understandable I guess. How long was I under for?”

“About twelve hours give or take.”

Remus’s eyebrows shot up, “That long?… but that would make it… Padfoot, what’s the time?”

Sirius glanced at his watch. “It’s just after three am.”

“What are you doing here, then? They don’t ever let visitors stay this late,” Remus frowned at his partner.

“I work here, wanker. My shifts often run through the night. You know that.”

“You’re not working now, though.” Remus looked Sirius up and down, he was wearing a faded Rolling Stones t-shirt, tatty black jeans and his favourite (but very worn) leather jacket. Durmstrang would be holding mid-winter beach-parties before any of the Healers would let Sirius tend to patients dressed in even one of those items. 

“Not tonight,” Sirius conceded, “but I know the chief Medi-Witch on duty and she owes me a favour. I’m hoping that if I’m particularly charming, she might even let me move one of the spare beds in here so I can have a kip.”

“I could budge over a bit and you can sleep with me, if you like.” Remus ran his thumb along the inside of Sirius’s wrist. Sirius snorted, “Thanks for the offer Moony, but Madam Wright would have my hide. You’re supposed to be resting.”

“What’s happened since I arrived. How did you know I’d been sent here?”

“Shacklebolt sent a Patronus to your parents. Lily and I were with them at the time, we’d just had a late lunch together. We arrived at St Mungos shortly after you did.”

“Did Shacklebolt tell you what happened?”

“Enough. He says my darling cousin used _incarcerous_ to bind you and then tortured you.” Sirius traced small circles across Remus’s palm. “I’m sorry, Remus. No one should ever have to go through that. If I see Bellatrix I’m going to kill her. Thank Merlin Shacklebolt decided to go check on you when he did.”

And Sirius didn’t even know the half of it, Remus thought grimly. But all he said was “Shacklebolt’s a good man.”

“Yeh, he’s decent. Good to know some of the Aurors in that place are, what with Umbridge and my shit-for-brains cousin being in the department. Shacklebolt and Moody are trying to press legal charges against Bellatrix.”

“Do you think they’ll have much luck?”

“Hard to say, She’s a slippery one Bella, always has been. But I really hope they manage to make something stick.” Sirius looked into the distance, frowning. “Did she tell you why she was hurting you?”

“Yeh,” Remus let out a breath, slowly, “she thought I knew were Wormtail was.”

“What?!”

“Yeh, that’s what I thought, too. No idea why she thought I would know, or that the information was worth using _crucio_ to try and get it out of me.”

“Fuck. Rem…” Sirius stroked a hand down Remus’s cheek, kissing him. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK, it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve had that one thrown on me.”

“It doesn’t ever get any easier, though,” Sirius’s eyes were sparkling, “my fucking fucked up bloody family. I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault. I shouldn’t have told you - I just assumed the Healers would have said.”

“I’m glad you told.” Sirius sat on the edge of Remus’s bed, winding his arms gently around him, kissing him, studiously ignoring the uncomfortable glances the Hit Wizard guarding Remus’s door was giving them both.

“Did the Healers say how long I’ll need to be here for?” Remus asked, eventually. 

Sirius pulled back a little, arms still entwined around his partner, “One or two days, they think. But you’ll not be going back to the holding cells. We’ve made sure of that. Moody cleared Minerva’s place for you to stay in this afternoon. Umbridge is furious, but Moody’s his superior, so there isn’t anything he can do. I’ll stay with you as much as I can until then. Prongs and Lily, too.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it - makes me feel safer having you here.”

“I can understand that.”

“You might want to see if you can sweet-talk the Charge Medi-Witch into letting you borrow that bed, though.

“Yeh, perhaps.” Sirius stood, cupping Remus’s chin in his right hand. Remus turned his face, kissing the warm hollow of Sirius’s palm. He loved this man so much. 

 

o-O-o 

 

“Uncle Pads!” Harry dropped the quidditch figurines he had been playing with and ran into the living room of Sirius and Remus’s London flat. Lily looked up from trying to make sense of Sirius’s kitchen, to see the man himself stepping from the floo.

“Pronglet!” Sirius picked Harry up and spun him around.

“Oi,” said Lily, “I haven’t checked your identity yet, you could be anyone.”

Sirius gave her a wicked grin, “I could be, but I’m not _anyone_. I’m Uncle Padfoot, doting Dogfather to Pronglet.”

“Padfoot!” Lily growled.

Sirius lifted Harry up to eye-level, “Oh dear Pronglet, Mummy Prongs is brassed off with us.”

“Brassed off with us, brassed off,” echoed Harry, happily.

“Sirius!”

“OK woman, shoot. What do you want to ask me?” Sirius hoisted a laughing Harry up onto his shoulders, where the boy promptly grabbed fistfuls of his hair.

“What form does my Patronus take?”

“A doe, appropriately for Mrs Prongs. Just in case we didn’t know the pair of you were both Sickeningly Lovestruck.”

“Hey!” Lily came over to give Sirius a hug, “My Patronus was a doe way before I started dating James.”

“You could cast a corporal Patronus before you were 16?”

“Yes, I could,” said Lily, slapping Sirius’s leg. “I might point out that you and James were a fully-fledged Animagus before you took your OWLs. You don’t think you were the only ones experimenting with advanced level magic, right?”

“Fair point,” Sirius sat down on the settee, shifting Harry from his shoulders to his lap, “but you’re assuming I thought it was _you_ whose Patronus was affected by love sickness. James fancied you from the age of about 13.”

Lily blushed, “Oh, yeh. I had forgotten that.”

“Lucky you,” said Sirius darkly, while bouncing Harry on his knee, pretending to be a motorbike, “you obviously never had to suffer through the endless homilies on your gorgeousness that I was subjected to.”

“Oi, I had to suffer through being the object of James’s ham-fisted attempts at flirting.”

“Not the same, sweat heart, not the same.” Sirius gave her a wink. “Talking about the soppy stag, Prongs should be home shortly.” 

“That’s good. The three of us urgently need to have a proper conversation and we haven’t all been in one place at the same time for days. How long will the Lupins be with Remus?”

“I’m going to floo in and relieve them about eight - makes sense for me to do the night shift, the hospital fusses less when it’s one of their own staying over.” 

“I’ll come by first thing tomorrow and sit with him for a bit. Let you come back here and get some proper sleep.”

“Thanks Lil. That’d be great. They’re moving him to Minnie’s tomorrow afternoon, and I want to be there for that. Not that I don’t trust McGonagall, but…”

“Yeh, I know. Things can happen in transit. If you’re there, you’ll worry less.”

“Something like that.” Sirius rubbed his eyes. “So, what’s eating you, that needs a full committee discussion, Lil?”

Lily let out a long breath, “Lots of things, really. We need to discuss living arrangements going ahead, for starters, and security. Whether you and Rem still want to stay with us, given that it’s probably just a matter of time before whoever’s attacked the Longbottoms comes after us, too.”

“We wouldn’t want to leave you because of that.”

Lily laughed, “Ever the bloody hero, Pads. You probably should want to move out because of that. But thanks, anyway. You’ll need to talk it over with Rem - I’m assuming that wherever you’re staying is where he’ll move once we’ve got him out of custody.”  

“He’ll say the same.”

“Probably, but still. Talk to him, OK.”

“Sure.”

“And then there’s Rem’s imprisonment. Don’t know about you, but I’m not happy sitting on my hands and waiting for the law to sort itself out. Seems to me that isn’t going too well at the moment.”

“You can say that again. If Moony didn’t need me with him right now, I would be out trying to find the bastards who’re actually responsible for the attack on the Longbottoms.”

“Do you think Lestrange is right? Could Pettigrew have had anything to do with this?”

“I guess it’s possible. I wouldn’t put it past Bella to have just been using it as an excuse to hurt Remus, though. She hates that the two of us are together - besmirching her family honour and all that rot. Arrogant bint had better hope I don’t’ get to her before Moody does, is all I can say.”

Lily raised an eyebrow warningly, Sirius just shrugged. Not really the right moment to push things, Lily thought. She’d ask James to have a word. “Minerva thought someone at the housewarming could be involved,” Lily speculated. 

Sirius shook his head, “I would trust nearly who was at that party with my life, have done already in some cases. The only one I’m not sure of is Benji Grubbly - though I think he’s more annoying than dangerous.”

“We trusted Peter with our lives.”

“That way lies madness, Lily, and you know it. I’m not saying no one could have been involved, I’m just suggesting we wait for a bit more evidence before we assume anyone was. What we could really do with is a bit more background information on the whole thing, to be honest. I was wondering about contacting Aelia’s sister Acanthis to see if she had any insights as to which Death Eaters might have been motivated to look for the Longbottoms. It could be tricky, given she’s in hiding in France, but I think I could probably get in touch if Aelia helped me.”

“Talking about Aelia, she asked me to visit her. Wanted to see if I could mend bridges with Severus.”

“That poisonous git, I wouldn’t bother.”

“Yeh, but he’s a reformed Death Eater, he might have information same as Acanthis. Or at least know where we might look to find some.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, giving Lily a highly sceptical look.

“I know there’s bad blood between you and Sev, James too, if it comes to it, but he was once my friend. He’s not all bad, Sirius. I at least owe him a chance at redeeming himself.”

“So why haven’t you visited him yet? You’ve had the time and opportunity.”

“I’m scared. He’s a very good legilimens, and although my occlumency is passable, I’ve never been able to fully shut him out. I want to give him a chance, but I still don’t fully trust him…”

“Now that’s something I can help with,” said Sirius with a sly grin, “sometimes having grown up in the Black household has its perks. I know lots of tricks for avoiding unwanted legilimency…”


	15. Severus

Lily stepped lightly out of the floo into Eileen Prince’s kitchen. The room was much lighter and airier than the house the Snapes’ had lived in on Spinner’s End, but every bit as tidy and well-scrubbed. Lily thought some of the furnishings were the same, too - the simple, solid kitchen table looked familiar, as did the shining copper-bottomed pots hanging along the wall nearest the hob. And the smell. The smell was definitely the same, Lily thought, breathing in the warm aroma of bees-wax polish, dried herbs and lavender. Lily had forgotten Severus’s house had smelled like this; she suddenly felt fourteen again, small, excited and a bit anxious.

“If it isn’t Lily Evens!” Mrs Snape walked into the kitchen, carrying a large wicker laundry basket. “It’s good to see you again, girl,” she said, her eyes bright. Severus’s mother was smaller than Lily remembered her, her pallid skin pleated in a few more fine wrinkles, her dark hair shot through with silver and grey. Yet there was also an openness to Mrs Snape that Lily had never seen, she was less pinched than the woman Lily remembered, and she moved more lightly, as though weight of the world no longer stooped her bony shoulders.  Lily smiled.

“It’s good to see you, too, Mrs Snape. I mean, Ms Prince…?” Lily corrected herself, blushing.

“Yes, if I’m using a surname, I prefer Prince these days. But please, call me Eileen.”

“I’m sorry, Eileen, I forgot…”

“Whisht, child. Think nothing of it,” said Eileen, placing the basket on the floor, “if it comes to it, I made the same mistake. You’re Lily Potter now, am I right?”

Lily nodded.

“You children grow up so fast,” said Eileen coming over and giving Lily a half-hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I hear you’ve even got your own wee lad now?”

“Yes, Harry. He’s one and a half.”

“Make the most of it, love. He’ll be at Hogwarts before you can as much as blink.” Eileen pulled out a chair by the table, “Have a seat, dear. I’ve just boiled water for tea.” Eileen pottered around the kitchen, brewing tea and fetching out four cups and saucers, a sugar bowl and milk in a little jug.

“You stay here a minute and fix yourself a cup of tea and I’ll go fetch Aelia,” said Eileen, wiping her hands on her robes, “Severus, too. If he’ll shift his grumpy bones out here and be sociable.”

 

Dutifully, Lily was pouring herself tea, when she heard footsteps in the hall. Looking up, she caught Severus’s eye as he skulked into the kitchen. Aelia was right, Sev looked awful. Severus had naturally greasy skin and personal hygiene had never been his strong point, especially not when stressed or in other ways preoccupied, but Lily had never seen his hair as lank and filthy as it currently was. Also, his clothing had the tell-tale signs (and sent) of robes that had been charmed clean too many times without a proper wash. Lily wasn’t surprised his cousin was concerned. Looking up, Lily caught Severus’s eye and held it. The cool glare she received was less aggressive than Sev’s trademark lip curling sneer, but confrontational and angry, nonetheless. As expected, Lily felt Snape start to probe gently at her thoughts. He quirked an eyebrow, as though daring her to respond, to shut him out, to break eye contact, hell, maybe even to hex him. Instead Lily let her memories well up freely, showing him. She breathed deeply, centring herself, calmly offering Severus the thoughts he asked for, rather than instinctively drawing on memories she was afraid for him to see. If this was how Severus wanted to communicate with her, rather than have a conversation like a fully hinged and balance person, so be it. Two could play that game. It would be his loss in the end, Sev had a nasty habit of seeking out the memories of hers that would most hurt him. 

Sure enough, the first memory to rise out of Lily’s consciousness was of James. Her husband’s face appeared vividly before her, full of exasperation and worry.

“I don’t know about this, Lil. I know you and he were mates in school, but that was a long time ago and Snape’s dangerous.”

“Both Dumbledore and Aelia say he’s changed,” memory Lily’s voice responded.

“You honestly believe that creep has it in him to change? How on earth can you be sure?”

 “I can’t. But you were the one that was for trust, love and faith and all that. I want to give him a chance.”

“Yeh, but for Sinivilus?”

“James!”

“Alright… Lily, I’m sorry. Go try and convert the bastard if you must. Just be careful, and make sure you have an exit plan, OK?”

James’s face dissolved and a new memory floated to the surface. This time of Aelia.

“I’m really worried about him, Lily. All he does is mope about the house and snark at his mother and me. He’s barely eating and I’m pretty sure he’s not caring for himself in other ways, too. Like washing or changing his robes…” the memory dissolves and is replaced by another, newer, one. Again, it is of James, this time he is saying goodbye, just before she took the floo here, barely fifteen minutes ago.

“Just please be careful” memory-James’s face creases in worry “make sure you have your wand on you. Sirius, Remus and I will be there in a heartbeat if you need us.”

“James, I know.” memory-Lily replies patiently.

“I know you know.” memory-James hugs his wife close, “I love you.”

“I love you, too” memory-Lily replies. Lily-currently-in-the-kitchen focused hard on the memory of how much she loves her husband, the feel of his arms around her, the smell of his robes. James would never make her go through the indignity of legilimency in order to believe her. She leans as hard as she can into this thought. Severus flinched and broke eye contact. 

“Your occlumency skills are disgraceful,” he hissed, “and you honestly think you can be an Aura? The Death Eaters are going to have you on toast.”

Lily took a deep breath and smiled. “I’m delighted to see you, too, Severus,” she said serenely, gesturing for him to take a seat at the table. “Fortunately for me, the Death Eaters have recently lost their best legilimens, so I believe I have a fighting chance. After all, no one knows one’s weak points quite as well as one’s teacher. I also wasn’t trying to keep you out, just then, and you know it.”

“Don’t go blaming my teaching for your shoddy study habits,” said Snape, coolly, taking a seat opposite Lily. “Also, what kind of dunderhead simply allows someone to probe their thoughts?” Severus raised an eyebrow, turning a teacup towards him and reaching for the pot.

“One who doesn’t think they are going to be able to communicate in any other way with a stubborn idiot, I expect,” said Lily, dryly.

Snape scowled, “I’m not a charity case. You don’t need to come here and fix me.”

“Blame Aelia,” said Lily sweetly, “she was the one who invited me. On second thoughts, don’t. I’m sure she’s had more than enough of your bile for one lifetime, I would hate for you  to add to it on my account.” Lily stretched back in her seat and looked Snape up and down, before saying, “If you must know Severus, me being here has nothing to do with charity and very little to do with Aelia. I’m here because when we were children you were very kind to me. I had thought that boy died a long time ago. But when I heard that you had left Voldemort” (Snape flinched at the name, but Lily continued) “and were assisting the Order, I started to hope. I hoped that maybe there was something left of the Severus I had known and cared about. I wanted to come and see for myself if I was right.”

Snape looked startled for a minute, caught momentarily off-guard. “So, what’s your verdict then, oh mighty one,” he said with an attempted sneer he couldn’t make quite convincing, “Am I a redeemed character, or blackened beyond all hope?”

“The jury is still out on that one,” said Lily, giving him an appraising look. “I’m afraid you haven’t given me a lot to go on, thus far. However, as a gesture of good faith, I am prepared to make you an offer - one you may or may not wish to take me up on. But before I do, I think you need to have a more rounded understanding of my motives,” Lily drew out a small, empty vial from her robes. “I didn’t like your choice of memory just now,” she said conversationally, “I think you will have gotten a rather canted view of me from them.” Lily drew several memories out of her head, wispy, flowing, cloudy things, and dropped them carefully into the vial and capped it. “You have a pensive in the house?” she queried. Severus nodded. “Take these, I’ll loan them to you for a few days. After that I will want them back.” Severus took the flask from her and gave her an awkward nod, almost a bow, “Thank you,” he said simply before pocketing the vial. “You said you wanted to make some kind of offer?”

“Yes,” said Lily, picking up her own teacup, “I would like to spend some time with you occasionally, to try and re-establish our friendship. We don’t have to talk, if you don’t want. We could gather potion ingredients, or go for a walk, or, I don’t know, weed the garden or something. I’m not fussy. But no more mind probing, OK?”

“I’ll think about it,” said Severus, looking into his tea.

“There is one other condition, though, Sev.”

“What?”

 “I will be bringing my boy, at least some of the time. I don’t care if you hate James, I understand it. But Harry is my baby, he’s a more a part of me than my wand arm is, or my left lung, or any bit of my body really. If you’re jealous of him, or unkind to my boy in any way, I will leave and never speak to you again. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

“I’m pleased we understand each other then,” said Lily with a smile, sipping her tea. 

 

o-O-o

 

“So, Remus is out of hospital, now, then?” Aelia, asked, shuffling back in her chair. She and Lily were alone in the kitchen - Eileen had work and Severus had quickly tired of being sociable. 

“Yes, they moved him to the safe-house yesterday.”

“How is Sirius holding up?”

“Pretty well, all things considered. He’s glad Remus is somewhere safer now and that he doesn’t have to spend nights at the hospital anymore. Doesn’t mean he’s not grumpy about not being able to have him home - especially as the terms of Remus’s house arrest state that he’s not allowed sleepovers. Merlin knows why, when he is allowed daytime visitors. Still, it’s a lot better than the Ministry of Magic holding cell regulations.”

“Probably just a dehumanising exercise designed to let Ministry detainees know who’s boss.”

“Probably. There’s been quite a few of those. I still can’t quite believe they’re holding people indefinitely without a trial.”

“Not _people_ , Lily. I think you will find they are holding _Potential Menaces to the Wizarding Public_ indefinitely without trial. We can be certain of their villainous intent, because the Right Honourable Bartemius Crouch & co. have all felt it in their collective waters.”

“Hmm, quite.” 

For a moment, Lily thought about mentioning Remus’s assault while in Ministry custody, but something stopped her. She didn’t know how much Aelia knew about the reasons behind Remus’s hospital visit, and some deep instinct told Lily that the fewer people who knew the details about that particular attack, the safer Remus would be. So instead, she asked, “Do you know much about Auror Bellatrix Lestrange?” 

“You mean apart from that she was an obnoxious teenager and lorded it over us when we were children?”

“I’d gathered as much from Sirius. I was hoping you might know something more recent.”

“Not a great deal, sorry. I do know that she’s a pure-blood apologist and an active and outspoken member of the Nob Unit.” 

Lily nodded. _British Wizarding_ _Nobility United_ , aka the Nob Unit amongst their detractors, were a prominent wizarding lobby group promoting the sanctity of “Ancient Wizarding Traditions” and the importance of supposed blood purity. Although they publicly rejected Voldemort, or the Dark Lord, as they preferred to call him, _Nobility United_ were well known to be a politically sanitised front for the Death Eaters. It was almost certain that many of its (obscenely wealthy) members had privately funded Voldemort early on in his rise, and although the actual members of the lobby were not usually active Death Eaters, many of their friends and family were. 

“Figures that someone like Lestrange would be a Nob.” Lily observed, “Does she have any Death Eater connections?”

“Apart from being Regulus’s cousin? Not to my knowledge. Mind you, if she had any she would be keeping them very quiet. It would be frowned on, as an Auror. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no special reason. Just that I’m starting my internship with the Auror Department shortly and I’m trying to get the lie of the land. Bellatrix struck me as someone who could be problematic.”

“I would be inclined to agree with that.”

Lily glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner, “It’s getting late, I should probably go. Thank you for having me, and please thank Eileen for her hospitality earlier, it’s been lovely to see you all again.”

“It has been a pleasure, Lily. Thank you for coming.”

Lily and Aelia both stood, and Lily had taken a few steps towards the floo, when Aelia slapped her forehead.

“Lily, could you wait a minute? I have a few things for Remus.” Aelia moved to the door and summoned a small bundle of scrolls. “It’s just a few accounts and notes from the Werewolf Help Centre. I have been keeping things ticking over while Remus has been away, but I thought he would like to see these.”

“Thank you,” said Lily taking the paperwork, “I’m sure he’ll be touched. It’s good of you to look after the place for him. James, Sirius and I will need to talk to you and Remus about how we can support the project while Remus is house-bound, but I am sure he’ll be relieved to know that you’ve been keeping an eye on the place.”

“Thanks Lily. Give Remus my love, won’t you?”

“Of course.” Lily hugged Aelia briefly before stepped into the floo. All in all, it had been a successful visit. Lily was glad she had decided to come. 

 


	16. Safe Houses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is might be the last chapter posted for a while. I'll be busier again shortly and not have as much time to write. However, I'll try to get a couple up in 3 - 4 weeks time anyway.

Remus scrunched further under the covers on the four-poster bed in Minerva’s spare room and wrapped his arms around Sirius’s waist, pulling him close and tucking his head beneath his boyfriend’s chin. Lying like this was going to give Remus dead-arm and his nose was also uncomfortably squashed against Padfoot’s collarbone, but Remus didn’t care. It had been a week and seven hours since the last time they had enjoyed this kind of privacy, not since the Saturday morning after the Potters’ housewarming party. And they had both thought they would be separated for much longer; Remus didn’t want to think about that too much, or at all, if he was honest. He just wanted to be in this moment, these few precious hours snatched in the afternoon of Sirius’s day off, with Minerva well out of the way, busy gardening on the far side of the house. This wasn’t a fortunate coincidence - Minerva was intentionally giving them space. She had made a point of letting them know where she would be and Remus had even caught her casting silencing charms after they left. Not that they needed them. After two years of secret shagging in the Dorms at Hogwarts, Remus and Sirius were past masters in the art of the quiet romantic rendezvous. Still, they both appreciated both the concern shown by Minerva for their privacy, and the kindness and understanding that went with it.  Remus breathed deeply, he could feel Sirius’s heart beat through the thin layer of Sirius’s t-shirt, could smell the warm, complex, Sirius smell of his skin. For the first time in what felt like forever, Remus felt safe. 

“Moony,” Sirius shifted slightly, his chin pressed against Remus’s forehead, the light moist warmth of his breath ruffling Remus’s hair.

“Hmm?” Remus replied, eyes shut, sleepy. 

There was an awkward pause and when Sirius continued and his voice caught a bit, sounding rough, “You ever thought about us getting married?”

Remus froze, the only part of him able to move was his heart, and that was going five times its normal pace by way of compensation.

“I mean, if you don’t want to it’s no problem…” Sirius swallowed, sounding a bit panicked, “I mean, it’s just this last week… with you being in prison. I tried to go see you, but the forms, they wouldn’t let me because you had to be immediate family or someone’s wife. Lily had a fit about it, I thought she was going to hex the MoM office staff - it would have been really touching if it hadn’t been quite so scary. But it made me think. If I’m ever going to be anyone’s husband, I would like to be yours, if you’ll have me.”

This was a marriage proposal. Sirius was proposing to him, right here, right now, and Remus’s brain had jammed stopped. He had never really thought about marriage proposals, and if he had, Remus would have envisaged himself as the proposer, not the proposee. He supposed it was silly, given he was dating a man, but Remus had always thought of being on the receiving end of a marriage proposal as something that only happened to women. Or, more to the point, not ever to him.

“You don’t want to marry me, Padfoot” Remus said, his mouth dry and voice croaky.

Sirius shuffled slightly, so he was able to look Remus in the eye.

“Moony,” he said, earnestly, “make any objections against matrimony that you like, I’ll listen to all of them. All, except that one. Believe me. I want to marry you. Who the hell else would I ever want to marry?”

“But we can’t. It’s not legal. Two men can’t get married.”

“We don’t need to have a legal ceremony to get married. We just need to make a public promise to one another in front of our friends, followed by a big party. I mean, OK, the Ministry won’t recognise it - I still wouldn’t be allowed to visit you in prison - and we’d have to sort out financial stuff another way. But the relationship and commitment stuff is the same and that’s the bit that really matters.”

“The financial stuff?”

“Yeh. We’ll need to sort that anyway, whatever happens. I want to make you co-owner of the flat. Have done ever since I realised what a dick I was for throwing you out when I was having a melt-down over who was spying on James. The flat’s your home as well as mine and I would like that on parchment, not just kept as a gentleman’s agreement. I would have done it already, but I’ll need to pay gift duties and I don’t have the cash right now.”

“Padfoot. This is too much. You’re going to kill me. I’m dying here.”

“OK, Ok. Too much to fast, I get it. Will you at least think about it, though?” Sirius looked at him, his expression all tenderness. 

“Yeh, OK, I’ll think about it.” 

“Good. I can live with that.” Sirius smoothed his hands over Remus’s arms and back, kissing his forehead.

Remus was in shock. He moved away from his boyfriend slightly, looking at Sirius as though he was searching for something.

“But why, Sirius?” He said, finally. “Why on earth would you want me? You’re handsome, from a good family, and as soon as you’re finished your studies, you’re going to be a healer and be wealthy. Why would you want to marry a half-blood werewolf, who’s mostly unemployed and currently under house arrest?”

“Merlin’s tits, Moony,” Sirius cupped Remus’s chin in his hands, running a thumb along his cheek bone, “the things you ask me. Obviously, I want to marry you because you’re funny, loyal, extremely intelligent, scorchingly sexy and, most of all, I fucking love you, you wanker. Why on earth would I want anyone else, if I could have you?” Then Sirius kissed him, slow, hot and gentle. Remus’s kissed back, his heart fluttering. He didn’t know what to do, or what to think, but he knew he loved this man. Maybe it wasn’t such a stupid idea, getting married. 

 

o-O-o

 

_ Later the same day: _

They were all in Minerva’s living room recovering from an outstanding dinner. Remus was on the sofa, one arm looped around Sirius's shoulders, cupping a goblet of Minerva's excellent wine in his opposite hand. James and Lily, who Minerva had invited, were both sitting on a chair that had been transfigured into either the smallest sofa Remus had ever seen, or the largest ever armchair. Lily was sitting on it sideways with her legs over James's lap and her head resting on the wing, a sleeping Harry cradled in her arms. 

“How’s Aelia?” Remus asked, “Sirius said you visited her.”

“Aelia’s fine,” Lily replied, “She asked me to send you her love, but I forgot until now. Which reminds me -  _ accio _ ,” Lily summoned a small bundle of parchments from where she and James had left their cloaks, then broke the charm mid-flight, seamlessly changing it to a hover-charm that dropped the scrolls neatly in Remus’s lap. Lily always had been a dab hand at charms - and potions, too, come to that - still, Remus was impressed. “Nice wand work,” he said grinning, putting down his goblet and examining the papers. 

“Thanks,” said Lily with an impish grin. “They’re from Aelia - It’s some paperwork from your werewolf charity. She says she’s been keeping an eye on it this week while you’ve been away.”

Remus’s heart swelled; he had never expected Aelia would keep the centre running while he was imprisoned. “That’s good of her,” he said, a bit gruffly, hiding his face behind one of the scrolls.

Lily gave him a warm smile, “Just so you know, James and I are happy to help the centre, too - especially while you’re stuck here. We know how much supporting the pack members means to you.”

“Me too, obviously,” said Sirius, laying a hand gently on Remus’s knee, “but you’ll need to let us know what we need to do. You’re the boss, after all.”

“You don’t have too,” said Remus, embarrassed, “you’re all busy.”

“Remus,” said James, in his  _ don’t-be-an-exasperating-tosser _ voice, “we  _ want  _ to help you, mate. We can work around business.”

“We’re all proud of you Moony,” said Sirius, not looking at him, “the work you’re doing at the centre is helping support so many people. The least we can do is give you a hand.”

Remus had never realised how fascinating apothecary receipts were; he swallowed hard. He was not going to cry. He  _ would  _ be the bigger man, damn it.

“I guess there are some things you could help with, if you really want to,” he said, eventually, when he was sure he could speak evenly again. “We’re running low on first aid potions for cuts, burns and minor abrasions, for starters. The pack doesn't have many members who can cast proper healing charms, so they rely heavily on potions. They can’t brew them themselves and store-bought potions are expensive. Aelia and I have been making remedies for them at-cost, or cheaper when we can afford to.”

“Done,” said Sirius with a wink, “Lily and I will make short work of that. We’re experts.”

“Oi,” said James, looking hurt.

“You’re pants and potions, Prongs!” said Sirius, rolling his eyes.

“I’m fine at brewing simple ones,” said James, sulkily. 

“There, there Prongsy, of course you are,” said Sirius with an evil smirk, “but I’m sure Moony has a job that would be more fitting to your capabilities, hmm, I mean, your  _ strengths _ …”

“Now, now, don’t fight, gentlemen,” said Remus, quickly, quirking an eyebrow. “There’s more than enough work to go around, believe me. Several people need help with filling in legal forms and making formal complaints - a shocking number of werewolves are either illiterate, or nearly so. We also have a mother who is applying for shared custody of her children, and she could do with some practical and emotional support. We’ve already managed to find her a cottage she can afford and a job. She should be entitled to care for her kids for at least a few days a month now, so long as it’s not a full moon, but there court processes she has to go through first and they’re grueling.” 

“I’m sure we could manage to help out with that,” said James, his eyes sparkling. 

“You might need to get Aelia to come with you, at first. Most of my people are wary of witches and wizards they don’t know.” Remus stopped for a minute, thinking, “There are probably other odd jobs, too. I can make a list, if you like.”

“That would be great,” said James, giving Remus a funny, warm look. Pride, thought Remus. He ducked to pick up his wine, his hands trembling slightly and the inside of his chest feeling too tight and oddly tender. Some days Remus couldn’t really believe he had these people in his life - friends who loved him.

“How’s your job hunt going, anyway, James?” said Remus, changing the subject. Lily tensed slightly, and Remus winced. He had forgotten she and James had fought about Quidditch. 

“You’re looking into coaching junior league Quidditch, aren’t you James?” said Minerva, who up until now had been sitting quietly, sipping her wine.

“Yeh, that’s right.  _ The Wimbourne Wasps _ have offered me a job coaching their under-elevens teams - they give the kids a head start before they go to Hogwarts. I think some of them come back and train during school hols as well. It’s a good tactical move for the Wasps, they spot talent early and develop team loyalty as well. Many of their best players have come through the programme - Ludo Bagman, for starters.” James rubbed his nose, he looked uncomfortable. “Minerva put me in touch with the Wasps manager,” he shot Minerva a weak smile. 

“James has had a few hard calls to make, work wise, while you’ve been away,” said Sirius.

“Really?” said Remus, feigning surprise.

“Yeh, Puddlemere United asked to sign me as reserve Seeker.”

“Wow, um, you didn’t take the offer then?”

“No, I was tempted, but it was better not to,” said James squirming slightly and carefully not looking at Lily.

“Pud U supporters are all wankers, anyway,” said Sirius bracingly, “remember the hexes they threw at us at that Magpies match?”

“Yeh,” said James, “and their current seeker’s really young and quite good. I would have had to agree not to sign with anyone else for five years, too.”

“Classic strategic move aimed at keeping a potential rival out of action,” said Minerva, crossing her ankles. “Sign the player for a nominal salary, then if they’re better than your man, you’re on a winner. And if they’re worse…”

“You can keep them on the sideline, so no one else benefits from them,” James finished. 

“Like I said,” Sirius leaned back against the sofa grinning, “Pud U, Wankers all. The Wasps are a far better team, too.”

“I haven’t got a place on the team for the Wasps,” James pointed out.

“Yeh, but it’s an open secret that Greengrass is retiring at the end of this season,” said Sirius. “You’ll be perfectly placed to try out for the position of seeker, if you’ve been coaching their juniors.

“That was my line of thinking,” said James. Minerva coughed.

“At least, it has been, ever since I was given some outstanding advice by a well seasoned Quidditch expert,” James added, with a look in her direction. Minerva smiled. 

“Also,” he continued, “it gives Lily and me some time to work out security measures. Lily’s studying part time, so if I was working full time we would need to hire someone to look after Harry. Neither of us are very keen on that option, especially after what happened to the Longbottoms. We would need to find someone we absolutely trusted and they’re few and far between. Especially after Peter.” 

“We would help watch Harry,” said Sirius.

“Thanks, Pads,” said James, “but you’re busy with your own work and it’s not your responsibility to look after Harry. He’s our son.”

“And my Godson, James. I want to make sure he’s safe too,” said Sirius, with pugnacious glint in his eye.

James smiled disarmingly at his best friend, “And your Godson, Padfoot. I appreciate your concern and if you want to be involved with babysitting, I’m sure that could be arranged. But my point is, that now we have a whole year to work this out. If I had signed with Pud U we would have had two weeks - it was all way too rushed. I also want to make sure I have security arranged for getting to and from work. Lily can floo to the Ministry, but with Quidditch work I’ll be outside at predictable time intervals. If I’m lucky enough to end up in the British and Irish Quidditch League, I’ll be outside at highly publicised predictable intervals. Considering there seems to be a bunch of Death Eaters after our family, I want to be sure security is up to scratch - both for my safety and the safety people I’m working with.” James wound an arm around Lily protectively, drawing her and his son in closer to him. Lily leaned her head briefly against his shoulder and James kissed her forehead. “While we’re on the topic of security,” he said, “Lily and I need a serious conversation with you both about some additional precautions we could be taking at home.” 

“Albus wanted James, Harry and I to go into hiding, after what happened to Frank and Alice,” said Lily.

“But we aren’t keen on the idea. It didn’t exactly work that well for us last time,” James continued. “Not least because we worry about our friends - being someone’s secret keeper is a dangerous occupation. Even though we know you would be happy to take the risk, Pads,” James added hastily, at a scowl from Sirius. “Originally, we were just going to continue with our current wards, but Minerva has suggested we use a rare charm that she thinks would protect all five of us. It’s a lesser known protective enchantment, often referred to as the double fidelius.”

“The double, or many-headed fidelius is an old variation of the charm Lily and James used to protect the cottage in Godric’s Hollow,” Minerva explained. “When the spells were first invented, it was actually the more commonly used of the two, as it is well suited to protecting family and community units spread out over a range of dwellings. For the charm to work, you need at least two safe-houses and a secret keeper for each dwelling. Unlike the regular fidelius, it is very desirable for the secret keepers to be living in the protected dwellings, at least some of the time, as it is essential for each of the secret keepers to feel at home in both places. This requirement is ultimately why this version of the spell has fallen out of fashion. Unlike the scottish warlocks and witches the spell was designed by, we don’t tend to share our homes with extended family clans any longer, meaning a double fidelius is an impossible security measure for most people. However, in your case it could work.”

“Because I lived at the Potters’ as a kid, after my parents kicked me out,” said Sirius, eyes brightening with understanding.

“And because you and Remus have lived with us since we moved back,” Lily added, “not to mention that James, Harry and I are currently living with you in your flat.”

“The advantage of a double fidelius,” Minerva continued, “is that it’s far harder to break. You need the permission from both secret keepers in order to enter either home. Also, you need both keepers in order to lift the enchantment, which alone would have prevented Pettigrew’s betrayal. Voldemort would never have been able to break the charm on the Potters’ house if it had been under a double fidelius.”

“That sounds brilliant,” said Sirius, “but if it works so well, how come more pureblood families don’t use it? Many of the wealthier ones have two or more houses and enough relatives for it to work.”

“Not many people are aware of the spell,” Minerva explained, “even Albus hadn’t heard of it until very recently. Even the regular version of the fidelius charm is extremely rare, there are only a handful of dwellings in Britain that have been protected by it in the last hundred years, and the double fidelius is rarer still.” 

Sirius nodded. “So, are you two keen to try this, then?” he looked at Lily and James.

“Yes,” said James, “but only if you and Moony want to as well. We don’t want to pressure you.”

“What do you reckon, Moony?” Sirius turned to Remus, “what’s your expert opinion as a curse breaker? Does it sound like a good plan?”

“This is a protective charm, not a curse,” Remus pointed out, “they’re hardly the same.”

“OK,” Sirius shrugged, “but they’re both used to protect things and spaces. So, they aren’t entirely different, either.”

“It sounds fine to me,” said Remus shrugging, “unless there are side effects to the double fidelius that aren’t found in the regular type?”

Minerva shook her head. “My father’s uncle was one of a pair of keepers for a family estate protected under the charm since the 1400s. I helped Dad to renew the enchantment after his cousin died. There were no side effects for either the keepers or the land that I’m aware of.”

“Then let’s do it,” Remus smiled, “I have to say it would give me peace of mind to know you were all properly protected while I’m cooling my heels in this beautiful corner of the country.” 

“We need two people to cast the charm,” said Minerva, “and as Lily has experience casting a regular fidelius, it would make sense for her to help me.” 

“Which makes me the secret keeper for the pair of us,” said James.

“So, which of you two will be secret keeper?” Minerva looked between Sirius and Remus.

“I will,” they replied together. 

Sirius laughed. “I think Remus should,” he said, “he’s the responsible one.”

And you feel guilty for suspecting me last time, Remus thought, unkindly. He knew it was mean spirited, and at least partly because it was easier to feel bitter than trusted, but he’d had enough heartache today. Not that he was about to voice any of this. 

“It won’t be a problem that I’m under house arrest here?” he asked, instead.

“No, it’s where you normally live of your own volition that counts for the spell,” clarified Minerva, “and you can give James a signed note to approve of people being allowed into the safe houses - Sirius and Lily, for instance.” 

“Are we able to perform the charm tonight?” Remus asked.

“If Lily is feeling up to it,” said Minerva. Lily nodded, standing.

“Then what are we waiting for,” said Remus, with a grim smile. 


	17. Desks and Dossas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here are the next three chapters in the story - Sorry it's been a while since I last posted. It's taken me longer than usual to write these chapters and I didn't want to post them until I had all the bugs in the plot ironed out. I think they should be worth the wait.  
> Also, as I've now dealt to those annoying plot wobbles, the next few chapters should theoretically be a bit quicker to write.  
> Love to all my readers,  
> GGV xx

 "And this" said Auror Bob Ogden, turning to face Lily with the air of someone bestowing a grand favour to a budding protege, "is your desk."

Lily looked at the small shabby wooden school desk with its folding top and cramped inkwell in the top right-hand corner. She had used nicer desks than this in her Muggle primary school.

"Thank you, sir," she said politely, "it's good to have my own workspace."

Ogden gave her an odd look, as though slightly miffed at her lack of enthusiasm. “In my day we didn't get desks of our own until we graduated."

"Then I am deeply flattered to have one," said Lily, looking at her shoes. She felt embarrassed about the unintentional slight of Ogden's gesture, but also, WTF? Having a flat surface to write on was a privilege in the Auror department? Did they want productive work out of the interns or what? Maybe this was some kind of pecking order bollocks that so many guys insisted in making apprentices go through - a weird desk-based rite of passage. Lily remembered visiting her father’s work as a girl. He was a builder and the older guys had subjected the new lads to all kinds of minor (and not so minor) indignities during their training. Were Wizards as exasperating as Muggle blokes? Did she have to worry about being sent to get the Auror equivalent of a long weight (also known as a long wait…). It was something she would need to watch.

Ogden was still contemplating her desk, "It'll probably be a while before you need to use it. We always start newbies on filing. Deathly dull, but it needs to be done. It'll give you a chance to get your eye in and learn the ropes. Oi, Shacklebolt!"

The young Auror who had tailed Umbridge during the interviews at Potter Manor looked up from the paperwork he was completing at his desk on the other side of the shared office. Lily noted that although his desk was nicer than hers, it wasn't by much. There also appeared to be a large, very ornate desk that no one was using in the corner of the room. She counted this as further evidence towards her suspicion that desk size was linked to hierarchy within the Auror department.

Auror Shacklebolt stood and walked towards them.

"You called, sir?"

"Potter here is our new intern."

“Pleased to meet you again under better circumstances, Mrs Potter,” Auror Shacklebolt offered her his hand along with a warm smile. 

“Please, call me Lily.”

“Welcome then, intern Lily. I’m Kingsley.”

“Youth these days,” Ogden harrumphed, “no sense of decorum. In my day…”

“You called each other strictly by surnames unless asked to be best man at their wedding,” said Kingsley deadpan, but obviously teasing, “we know, sir. But times do change. Which is just as well, really. As Mrs Potter is already married, we may have never managed first-name terms.”

“I should report you for cheek, Shacklebolt,” Ogden slapped Kingsley’s shoulder jovially. “But I am happy to turn a blind eye this once, if you will take Potter here down to records and show her how to perform the filing charms.”

“Right you are, sir.” Kingsley beckoned to Lily who followed him into the corridors. His pace was so brisk that Lily had to half-jog in order to keep up. The ministry corridors were narrow with more corners than was strictly natural. Lily needed to concentrate carefully on which turns they took in order to have any hope of finding her way back, so she didn’t have the breath, or the headspace needed to converse. Kingsley didn’t seem to mind, the silence between them was amicable. Finally, he rounded a corner and stopped suddenly, with Lily almost running into him from behind.

“This is the record library,” said Kingsley, opening one side of a set of heavy ornate oak double doors.  “This is where Aurors store case notes, transcripts and sketched evidence for all cases both current and past. We’re supposed to file everything both alphabetically and by date and case number.” Kingsley stepped through the doors; Lily followed him. She had to work hard to stop her jaw from dropping - the room was the size of the Great Hall at Hogwarts and was full, floor to ceiling, of bookshelves stacked with tightly packed bound folders. “Needless to say, as soon as we’re too busy with the more interesting aspects of the job, we get a bit debonair with our filing. It’s time consuming and unlikely to kill anyone if it’s not meticulous. Whenever there’s a quiet spell, whoever is the most junior chump around gets sent down here to tidy things up.  Usually the honour is mine,” Kingsley gave her a wicked grin, “but since you’ve turned up, I’m more than happy to allow you the privilege.” Kingsley made a few quick jabbing motions with his wand and glowing crosses appeared on about twenty of the shelves. “These are the ones that are the most urgent. They’re notes from recent cases - I haven’t managed to sort them at all yet. Since Alice and Frank were attacked, we’ve been short staffed. So, no quiet spells.” Lily must have involuntarily flinched at the size of the task, because Kingsley patted her comfortingly on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you the sorting charms. It’s not hard, just deathly boring. You’ll have the hang of it in no time.”

The next half hour was spent with Kingsley teaching her the most efficient way of working through the mountains of mostly-unsorted paperwork. The charms were simple enough, and Kingsley was a good teacher. By the end of the time Lily was feeling far more confident in her ability to last the day without making a fool of herself. 

“Right,” said Kingsley, wiping his hands on his robes, “that’s everything. You’re doing fine now, so I’ll be off. Any questions?”

Lily shook her head.

“Excellent, lunch break is at 12; if you like, I’ll come and collect you. There’s a few nice cafes near here, I can show you which are the best and the cheapest.”

“Thank you,” said Lily, a bit taken aback, “but I’ve brought a packed lunch today. Maybe another time?”

“As you like,” said Kingsley, unusually loudly. He smiled at her and leaned in close, on the pretext of checking the files she had just charmed were in order. In an undertone he whispered “I need to talk to you and this place is covered in recording charms. It’s best to steer clear of Lestrange. If she comes down here, you can grab a file and come find me - say I asked you for the paperwork. Here,” Kingsley passed her a small metal disk, “there’s a protein charm on that. If you need me tap it with your wand - it’ll heat up and go red.” Lily nodded, dry mouthed, and pocketed the disk. Kingsley stood. “This is looking good. I’ll be off now - if you get stuck with anything, I should be in the Auror office. Do consider coming with me to lunch, though. My treat,” he said loudly, giving her a wink.

“Well, if you put it like that, I might let you twist my arm,” said Lily, matching Kingsley’s volume.

“Excellent, I’ll see you at twelve, then.”

 

o-O-o

 

The "cafe" Kingsley took her to was actually an Indian restaurant that opened early enough for lunch customers. It was in muggle London, walking distance from the leaky cauldron, and Kingsley assured her it served the best dossas in the city. Not being a dossa connoisseur, Lily had let Kingsley order for her, just requesting that it wasn't too hot. He had also ordered a large pot of what appeared to be some kind of spiced tea brewed in milk. After her original scepticism for the beverage, Lily had been pleasantly surprised to find that it was delicious, if quite sweet and somewhat reminiscent of mulled wine spices added to milky tea.

"How's Mr Lupin doing in his new lodging?" Kingsley asked politely, leaning back in his chair and sipping his drink.

"He's fine. He recovered well from the attack but is still understandably shaken. You were the one who found him, weren't you?"

Kingsley frowned, "I never thought I'd see the day we had someone molested in the holding cells. Makes me ashamed to be part of the department, to be honest."

"You mentioned that Bellatrix was still working in the Auror department - I thought she was supposed to be under investigation? Remus was certain it was her that hurt him - she was a couple of years ahead of us in school, so he's unlikely to have identified her incorrectly."

"Which brings us to the real reason I asked to meet you outside of the Ministry and chose a muggle establishment. That, and the outstanding cuisine, obviously."

Lily looked nonplussed and Kingsley continued, "Bella claims she was never in the cells the day Mr Lupin was attacked. According to her, either Mr Lupin was mistaken, or it was someone who was impersonating her.”

“So, she thinks someone was using polyjuice potion?”

“Presumably that’s her argument. However, Moody and I think it’s more likely that she was using illicit interviewing tactics as part of the investigation into the Longbottom attack. Unfortunately, Umbridge is backing her story, saying that she was with him at the time of the attack. We can’t prove that she wasn’t - but it would be highly unusual. She doesn’t usually work with Umbridge and Moody, her usual partner, noticed she was missing at around the time Mr Lupin would have been attacked. However, we don’t have enough proof to successfully overrule evidence given by a senior Auror, so the panel reviewing the case has cleared her of wrong-doing.”

“So what’s happening with the investigation into the attack on Remus?”

“Umbridge is supposed to be looking into it. You can imagine how well that’s going particular, considering we’re fairly sure he was one of the people who organised it in the first place.”

“But that’s completely immoral.”

Kingsley laughed humourlessly, “If the Auror department was ever moral, it certainly isn’t now. We’ve been short-staffed for so long and under so much pressure with the war and its aftermath and corners have been cut in order to try and make things work. Virtually no one follows regular procedure anymore. Even the best of us bend the odd rule here and there, just to survive. The problem is that, as time consuming as it is, the proper procedures are there to stop people working the system for their own ends. With so few checks and balances, it’s easy for lazy Aurors to ‘speed things up’ by using underhand practises and, as long as they’re careful to cover their tracks, there’s not a huge amount of come back.”

Lily was starting to feel a bit sickly, “So are you telling me I should reconsider my choice of career?” 

Kingsley shook his head, “it’s not that bad, so long as your boss is alright. You’re working with Ogden and as old-fashioned and stuffy as he is, he’s a solid Auror. He knows a lot, too. Started with the department when Grindelwald was still on the rise and has been in the business ever since. Ogden and Moody would be the best, most honest Aurors I’ve ever met. So long as you’re with him, you’ll be alright.”

“So how come you warned me to stay clear of Lestrange? Do you think she’s dangerous?”

“Lestrange is a loose cannon with a blood purity fixation. She tried extremely hard to have me excluded from Auror training when I first started. Even though I’m pureblood, I’m also black and she had a problem with that.”

“What?!”

“Well, not in as many words, but that was the gist of it. I would put money on her trying to oust you, she will hate that you’re muggle born and Lestrange has always played dirty, she’s well known for it. If it wasn’t for her family connections and the fact she’s the best dueller we have, I suspect she would have been suspended by now, even with the how lax discipline in the department has become. Mr Lupin isn’t the first of her suspects to have shown signs of torture, although his case was by far the worst. That’s why she was partnered with Moody in the first place - he wanted to keep an eye on her. He does to cramp her style somewhat, but it would appear she’s managing to work around that.” Kingsley looked at his watch. “We better head back, it’s almost one.” Lily gathered her things and started to stand, Kingsley placed a hand on her arm, “Don’t worry too much about her, alright? Just be careful. From what I hear you’re a smart witch and to have taken down Voldemort the way you did, you must be powerful and cool under pressure. We need people like that on the force. It’s all a lot to take in when you first start, and things are completely crazy at the moment, but you’ll get the hang of the job in no time. If you need help with anything, let me know.”

Lily nodded and smiled. This lunch break had given her more to think about that she was entirely comfortable with. She wished she could talk to Remus - but then, it was just as well she couldn’t, really. He had enough problems.

“Any new leads on the Longbottom case?”

Kingsley gave her a grin, “Nice try, Lily. You know I can’t discuss that with you, when you and your friends are part of the investigation.”

“Fair enough,” said Lily, shrugging, “but the Longbottoms are my friends, too. I want the bastards who did this to them caught as much as anyone.”

Kingsley nodded, “We all do, believe me. We’ll get there, don’t worry.”

“You know Remus had nothing to do with it, right?”

“That counts as discussing the case, Lily.”

“OK, sorry.” Lily gave him an apologetic grin and they headed back to work. 


	18. Dittany and Dissatisfaction

It was Saturday and Lily was standing in a country lane, the icy ground turning slowly into muddy slush around her as she waited for Severus. They had met twice since their first reunion at Eileen’s house; on her second visit, she and Sev had gone for a chilly and stonily silent walk in the nearby countryside. However, the next visit had been more amicable: on that one, they had collected dittany and boom berries for use in making the healing potions Remus needed. Although they still hadn’t talked much, the sense of purpose found in having a shared task had been comforting. With this in mind, Lily had asked Severus to meet her today to brew healing potions together. By far the best place available to do so was the Potter’s domestic potion lab. The fly in the ointment being that Severus was unable to enter Potter Manor, as there was no way that James was allowing him access to their house. Not that Lily blamed James for this, as much as she wanted to believe Severus had changed, she still didn’t entirely trust him. At least, not enough to give him free access to their home and, with it, her son and husband. Fortunately, it was just the homestead that was covered by the fidelius - the grounds (where the lab was) were protected by wards, but still possible to enter provided the person was accompanied by someone who knew their way through the charms. Hence the need for Lily to meet Severus outside of the grounds and walk him to the correct place. While explaining this necessity to Sev, she failed to mention to him that their home was nearby, merely mentioning that there was an orchard and an old barn converted to a lab that James’s parents had owned. She had also temporarily ousted the owls in the owlery in order to keep up this pretence - although she strongly suspected Severus would not be fooled, even so. However, the fidelius was such a strong enchantment that the risk was negligible. James also liked the idea of her being close to him, in case there was trouble with Severus. Like that was going to happen. But it kept him happy, and suited her, so she wasn’t complaining. 

Severus appeared at the far end of the lane, tall, painfully thin and swathed in billowing black robes. Lily waved enthusiastically and he started making his way toward her.

"Have you made sure the dittany has been drying correctly?"

"Good morning to you, too, Severus."

Snape waved a hand at her in irritation. "Many felicitous greetings to you also. Have you, though?"

Lily insisted on giving him a brief, very awkward hug. He smelled cleaner than the last time she had seen him, and his robes appeared to have been properly laundered. 

"Yes, after a huge amount of fussing around I managed to find a place where I could set up a timing charm. They've been hanging in the warm dry darkness for 23 hours a day and in direct daylight at midday for exactly one hour per day, fussy britches."

"Good. I picked up the extra things we needed from the apothecary yesterday, but they don't look particularly well kept. However, if the dittany has been dried properly it may still be alright."

Lily rolled her eyes. The apothecary Sev had been at was the same one Charlotte worked for and Lily had never had substandard goods from them. Sev was just unreasonably fussy. She waved her wand in complicated pattern as they walked and silently performed the charms that would allow Severus through the wards.

"You have wards protecting your orchard?" Severus quirked an eyebrow in a way that dripped scepticism.

"I have wards protecting my potion lab," Lily said in what she hoped was a convincing tone. "Unless you fancy having our work interrupted by dark wizards? I mean, I guess it would make things less dull."

Severus snorted, "Because there are so many dark wizards eager to ambush you."

Lily gave him a long look, "Considering my history with the Order of the Phoenix, my current employment as an Auror intern and that I'm with an ex Death Eater who defected? Your right. It’s completely paranoid to put wards up around somewhere we’ll be working for several hours. No one could possibly want to hurt us.” Severus harrumphed a bit, but he let it drop. Lily lead the way into the lab.

Lily and Severus worked well together and Severus’s passion for potion brewing won out over his desire to be snide, so he was reasonably pleasant company. They worked quietly only talking about necessities ( _can you pass the silver knife?_ ) or when Severus wanted to show Lily a clever trick, he had worked out that made the potion work better. Lily was a dab hand at potions herself, she had come second in their year at school, but she was still impressed by Severus’s talent and work ethic when it came to brewing. After an hour of solid work, they had one cauldron full of what would eventually be Wiggenweld Potion and another brewing essence of Dittany. The hard work mostly done for the time being, all they had to do was stir the potions at carefully timed intervals.

“How is your internship at the Auror office going?” 

Lily started slightly; it was the first time since rekindling their friendship that Severus had made an attempt at starting polite conversation.

“It was this week you started, was it not?” Severus asked, when Lily was slow to answer.

“Yes, that’s right. I started on Monday; it’s going well so far. Although, as yet, I haven’t done anything particularly taxing - mostly sorting paperwork, to be honest.”

Severus nodded, followed by an awkward silence.

“Do you know anything about Bellatrix Lestrange?” Lily asked. This time it was Snape’s turn to start in surprize.

“A little. Why do you ask?” 

“No reason, really. Only that she was a couple of years ahead of us at school and in Slytherin. I thought you might have known her. She’s one of the Aurors working in the department.”

One of their timing charms activated and Severus was distracted for a minute stirring the Wiggenweld potion.

“Are you working with Lestrange?”

“No. I’m working with Bob Ogden mostly. But she has a reputation within the department. One of the other Aurors warned me to steer clear of her.”

“Probably wise. Bellatrix Black was well known for baiting muggle-borns when she was at school.”

Lily nodded, “It was quite common, unfortunately. Although I never had a run in with Bellatrix.”

“I warned her early on that she was to leave you alone. Her and a few of the worst bullies in the house.”

Lily looked at Severus for a beat, taking in this new information. “They listened to you then? You were a lot younger that Bellatrix.”

Severus laughed mirthlessly. “Well, I had a reputation myself, if you recall. Not many of our classmates wanted to risk me hexing them, it was one of my more infamous talents when I was at school.”

Lily nodded; it was true. Sev had known as many hexes, jinxes and curses as most of the senior school when he was still in first year and his prowess had only improved with age. It had been one of the things they had argued about. “Thank you,” she said, simply. Severus shrugged.

“It was a long time ago.”

“Still.”

“It’s fine. Don’t bother yourself about it.” He turned to tend to the potions, even though neither cauldron really needed any attention.

“Do you know if Bellatrix ever had Death Eater connections?”

Severus drew a breath sharply, through his teeth. “Do not ask me about Death Eaters, Evens.”

“Sorry.” Lily kind of was. She had known it was a risky question, but also, if anyone was likely to know it was Severus. They sat quietly for a while.

“I couldn’t say if Bellatrix was a Death Eater,” Severus said, “I never worked with her. However, some of the people she was friendly with at school were.”

“Thanks,” said Lily. It was something to think about. 

Severus looked up from his work and caught her eye. “Death Eater connections or not, Bellatrix is dangerous, and she can be a little unhinged. Be careful, Lily, won’t you?”

Lily smiled, “You sound like James.”

Severus didn’t say anything, but his expression darkened.

“In that you both worry too much about me,” Lily clarified. “I’ll be careful. But I’m a big girl Sev, I know how to look after myself.”

 

o-O-o 

 

"So how did your brewing session with Snape go?" James gave Lily a hug as she walked in through the front door. He was warm and smelled of cooking. Lily hoped this meant she didn't need to worry about dinner.

"It was fine, we finished two batches of Wiggenweld potion and enough essence of dittany to heal a small army for a month."

Lily hung her cloak by the door and headed into the kitchen. There was a large pot of stew bubbling on the hob, Lily blew James a kiss.

"Did I ever mention how much I love you? That smells amazing."

"So, the way to a witch’s heart really is through her stomach?"

"You better believe it."

James laughed and came up and hugged her from behind. "You want a cup of tea?"

"Hmm, talk dirty to me, darling."

"OK, I'll put the kettle on to boil," he said, kissing the top of her head before going to fetch water.

Lily laughed and eased herself into a seat at the table.

"Where's Harry?"

"Sirius is playing with him. He got home from work half an hour ago."

"Did you two boys have a good day?"

"It was fine. I spent most of it entertaining our boy."

James brought over a couple of mugs and the tea pot.

"Have you heard anything more about the hunt for the Longbottom's attackers?" Lily asked, leaning her elbows on the table while James poured the tea. "It's been three weeks now and, so far, I haven't seen any progress. The only person that seems to be in custody is Remus. I was hoping something might come up at work, but no luck. I'm not allowed access to any information about the case, any notes on it are locked away and no one will talk to me about it. Not even Shacklebolt, and he's the only Auror working that job who I even halfway trust."

James shook his head. “I know Minerva said not to get ourselves involved, but…”

“Yeh, I know,” said Lily, rubbing her eyes, “it feels like we should be.”

James nodded, “after all, this is Frank and Alice we’re talking about here.”

“And Remus. We need to make sure he gets a fair trial and if he’s the only suspect…” Lily trailed off, worrying her lip between her teeth. The wizarding public wanted someone’s blood and they needed to make sure it wasn’t Remus’s they ended up getting. 

“So, let’s go over what we do know.” James settled next to her, nursing his mug of tea.

“We know that they were attacked on the night of our housewarming, sometime between ten thirty that evening and seven forty in the morning on the following day. We know their floo and wards had been playing up in the days before, and we know that whoever attacked them used the cruciatus curse but didn’t kill them.”

“I think that covers the hard facts,” said James, “so let's move on to conjecture. We think it’s probable that whoever did this wanted information,”

“Because of the use of crucio,”

“And Minerva thought it could be linked to Death Eaters.”

“Hmm,” said Lily, “I wonder what Frank and Alice knew that Death Eaters would want to torture out of them?”

“They were Aurors. Surely the list would be substantial.”

“True. But it would be beyond helpful to know the specifics - it would give us a clear motive.” 

James shrugged, “sure, but I don’t see a good way of working that out right now, do you?”

“No,” said Lily, reluctantly, “not right now. But maybe in time.”

“Fair point. But in the meantime, what’s our plan of attack?”

“Seems to me, we need to find out what our dear nemeses have been up to since Voldemort cashed in his chips.”

“Without letting Minerva know what we’re doing.”

“Something like that.”

“Oh joy. Well, at least we’ve had plenty of prior experience.” James gave her a wry grin and Lily laughed. This was the war that kept on giving, after all. Lily wondered if they would ever be rid of the thing. 


	19. Problems, Post, and Protein Charms.

Remus was sick of house arrest. He knew he should be grateful, Minerva's place was hardly Azkaban and there was zero possibility he would be assaulted by mad Aurors, but it didn't change the fact that he hadn't been outside for almost two weeks and spent all day (and even most nights) in a house on his own. Minerva worked long hours and, despite how close her home was to the school, she was almost never there. Remus had occupied himself fairly happily during the first week, reading up on new and interesting curse breaking techniques and devising long term plans for his werewolf charity. But although these were interesting activities and purposeful uses of his time, he had eventually tired of them and cabin fever was starting slowly but surely to set in. He felt perpetually twitchy and it was hard to concentrate for any length of time. It was also becoming harder to ignore worries and he regularly found his attention slipping from his research to topics to problems that were harder to solve than breaking curses and infinitely more disturbing. His two favourite worries currently were his upcoming trial, pregnant with fears around how exactly he was supposed to argue his innocence when he knew so little about what he was supposed to have done, closely followed by the worry of what to say about Sirius’s proposal. Because as much as he tied himself in knots trying to work out pros and cons over matrimony and exactly what his current emotional state was, and whether it fell into the pro or the con camp, he really wasn’t much closer to making a decision as he was the night Pads had posed the awkward question. Both the proposal and the trial had been thrust upon him unlooked for and definitely unrequested, and although one blow had been dealt by a loved one and the other by an enemy, the two problems seemed equally insurmountable and he felt equally poorly equipped to tackle either of them.

The fire in the living room grate flickered green for an instant before coughing loudly and spitting out two rolls of parchment so forcefully that they shot across the room and hit him disconcertingly in the shin,  followed by a short note in Minerva’s handwriting that fluttered across the room and settled in his lap.

 

_Will be home late. Molly W.’s cousins have flooded the dungeons again,_

_they appear to find it amusing. Will send elf with food for dinner shortly._

_MM_

 

_P.S._

_These letters arrived for you this morning._

 

Remus stooped to pick up the letters. Owls for him were redirected to Hogwarts via Minerva in the name of security. Remus thought it was stupid. No one was going to be bothered by owls visiting a house in Hogsmeade, whatever the time of day, he huffed irritatedly under his breath as he opened the first missive, tapped it with his wand and muttered the incantation that Lily sealed all her correspondence with. Now that was a sensible security measure, he thought, as the tidy scrawl of Lily’s handwriting emerged wetly from the parchment. Remus wished bitterly that he had received it in the morning when her owl had arrived. He could have replied instead of stewing unproductively. He flattened the now-dry parchment and read:

 

_Dear Rem,_

_We miss you!! And not just because Pads is a sulking grumpus with you away, either. Although **he is ,** Moony, he’s unbearable - you have no idea. _

_My Auror internship is going well so far, although they won’t let me do anything remotely interesting - it’s been something of a crash-course on file sorting and Minding My Own Business. I’m not a very talented student at either of the above, although it pains me to say it. However, Kinsley is very kind, and Ogdend is bearable in a way that suggests he’ll become more so, rather than less. The “Minding My Own Business’ caveat has cramped my style no-end; I haven’t been able to find out much about your trial, despite diligent nosiness. James says it’s my own fault - If I had dated him sooner he could have trained me up properly at school. Honestly. The utter bollocks I have to put up with, I thought matrimonial bliss was not meant to involve such a lot of eye-rolling and tongue biting. Although, possibly I was wilfully mislead by romantic literature and a long-but-silently suffering mother…. I don’t know._

_The Werewolves are well. Aelia and I went around making house calls yesterday and they seem to be slowly getting used to me. One or two of the pack even talked to me and they all accepted the medical supplies we brought with us. The young mother we’ve been visiting has settled into her flat really well and she’s continued to show up on time for her job as a cleaner at the ministry. She was looking a bit peaky yesterday, but the moons have been hitting her hard lately and she’s stressed about the custardy application. Sirius and I are going over the legal stuff with her in the office, she is obviously scared by the thought of going to court to it processed, but you’re right, she should definitely be entitled to visits from her children and possibly even partial custody. We’re hoping she can submit the paperwork next week after Sirius has had a lawyer friend of his read over the documents - one of the Bones family, I think. Though there’s not many left of them now._

_On the topic of legal matters, James, Sirius and I are trying to look into the background to the Longbottom case to help you prepare for your trial. You don’t have any extra information about what they are officially charging you with, by any chance?_

_I have a strong feeling that our dear enemies the DEs may be involved in some way - but I have no idea what that ragtag lot are up to now their commander in chief has disappeared. I suspect there’s more than a few remnants hanging around the NOBs, but I can hardly rock up to one of their meetings and start snooping. James is also persona non grata - due to his marriage to me - I’ve tried to persuade Sirius to ‘join’ so that we can snoop, but his family are involved to the hilt and he won’t go near the place. It’s all very frustrating._

_Not being able to talk to you is a proper pain in the posterior. There are so many things I would like to check and/or discuss with you. The number of visits we’re allowed to make to Minerva’s doesn’t even begin to be enough talking time. I’ve been experimenting with protein charms on a couple of old muggle note-pads, that way you could write on your one and it would appear on mine, and vice versa. It’s worth a shot. If I manage to get something promising finished by this evening, I’ll send it over with Pads when he comes round to see you. Wish me luck! xx_

_Love,_

_LP xoxo_

 

Remus laughed, pushing his hair out of his eyes and rocking back in his seat. Lily was fantastic. He really hoped the notebooks worked - why hadn’t he thought of a protein charm? It was basic NEWT level magic, after all, and such a simple solution to his isolation. If Lily didn’t work it out, he would have to turn his attention to adapting the spell himself. Remus carefully stowed Lily’s letter away and pulled out the second of the two rolls. This one was lighter than the first and when he prised it carefully open, he found a brief missive in Aelia’s tidy hand: 

 

_Dearest Remus,_

_I am afraid I need your help._

_Lily and I went to visit Adalwolfa yesterday. She has settled well and is working, but I think she is pregnant.  One of the other werewolves told me in confidence that she thought that Adal was - she’s been seeing someone and apparently her smell has changed. When we visited, she was unwell and answered vaguely, when pressed. Lily agreed that it could be morning sickness, but thought it wasn’t a sure thing, and not really our business. Although, normally I would say she had a point, I am worried about the medical implications for Adal if she is pregnant. Also, I don’t know what the effect would be on her child. I’m worried she won’t seek help, because of the custody case going to court, but she needs to see a healer. _

_Do you know anything about childbirth with Werewolves?_

_Can lycanthropy be passed on mother to child?_

_Also, who would I go to for medical advice? I know Sirius is sympathetic, but he’s only a Healer in Training and doesn’t specialise in maternity care, even if he has a strong interest in lycanthropy._

_Sorry to drop all these questions and worries on to you, but I really need a second opinion on this. If you could write to me with your thoughts it would be hugely helpful._

_As ever, your loving friend,_

_Aelia_

 

Well, on the bright side, now Remus had a good distraction from his own worries. However, somehow a third apparently unsolvable problem didn't feel like a particularly comforting distraction, even if the problem was someone else's. He swore loudly and punched his fist into his other hand. He had no idea if lycanthropy could be transmitted to a baby in the womb. This had never really been an issue he'd considered. Remus ran his fingers through his hair until it was properly on end. He'd have to ask Sirius for help. There could be something in one of his medical textbooks. And then there was the issue of what the court would say about Adalwolf ‘risking’ pregnancy if her baby could contract her illness. Somehow, he thought it was unlikely to be considered model parenting. Fuck. 


	20. Plans of Espionage and Duplicity

"Please, Sev," Lily wheedled. 

“Absolutely not.” Severus punctuated the finality of his statement by turning on his heel, in swish of fabric, his black-robed back resolutely parrying Lily’s pout. He proceeded to hunch over the nearest cauldron and pretended to check its contents. They were in the Potters' potion lab again. The idea had been that Severus would help Lily invent a simple potion by adapting an existing one. It was advanced NEWTs stuff, the type only a handful of seventh year students ever fully covered, and although Lilly had definitely been amongst the selective few, she hadn't had call to attempt this type of brewing since school. However, it _had_ been going swimmingly, right up until Lily had the bad grace to mention her need to spy on the NOBs and asked if Sev would help. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time; in many senses, Sev would be the perfect candidate. He was seen within the community as a potential political ally of the group anyway, as many of his old school cronies were members and - as the NOBs were nominally anti-Death Eater - the little-known fact that Sev had played spy against Voldemort shouldn't count against him. Once in the meetings, Severus could let Lily through the wards, concealed in James’s invisibility cloak, and then she could snoop to her heart's content. _If_ Sev would go to the meetings, that is.

“Don’t be like that,” Lily touched Severus’s shoulder lightly and he flinched, turning slightly so that his back was squarely facing her again. Lily sighed.

“I don’t see why it’s such a terrible thing to ask. It’s not like I’m asking you to spy or do anything else dangerous. Boring and distasteful, maybe, but you have semi-voluntarily spent time with most of the NOB Unit wankers in the past. How much worse than an evening in the Slytherin common room could it possibly be?”

Severus ignored her. He had decided the potion in the silver cauldron needed stirring. He must be fuming, that one shouldn’t really be touched for another five minutes. Not that early stirring would wreck it, but this was _Severus_ they were talking about here. Lily sighed and waited. 

 -

“Whatever gave you the impression I would still find the company of Death Eater sympathisers tolerable?” said Snape suddenly, staring fixedly at the bagged herbs he was putting in order. It was nearly evening, and they were tidying the lab, preparing to leave. Lily started slightly, surprised. She had assumed this topic of conversation was firmly off the table, given the full hour of silent treatment Severus had given her after she had brought up the subject earlier. 

“I never thought you were going to willingly seek out their company,” she answered, carefully. It was an oblique response and didn’t actually answer Sev’s question, but ‘because you’ve been mates with them most of your life,’ or ‘because most of them are primarily blood purists, and I thought you still might be’ were both  dumb answers considering the fragility of their newly mended friendship. There was a time and place for frank honesty, and then there was a time when it was best to shut the fuck up. Lily had grasped the finer details of the nuances of this skill at an early age; James and Sirius still hadn’t. There was a reason that Severus and Slughorn - died-in-the-wool Slytherins both - had doted on her. A shared penchant for skilled potionary was only the half of it. 

Sev turned slightly towards her, giving her a quizzical glance, “Then why ask me? Are the rest of your friends to dunderheaded to manage espionage? Or do you think I’ll find it diverting? Pleasant memories of old times, playing turncoat for Dumbledore? Obviously, I hardly know what to do with myself, now that my life isn’t in constant peril. Since the war ended, the lack of spying and it’s various uncomfortable exigencies have left my life insensate and caused me to become half-dead from ennui.” 

Internally Lily rolled her eyes. Sev’s vocabulary always became particularly florid when he felt threatened. It reminded her of a rooster with his hackles raised - Severus was trying to make himself appear bigger, more impressive, well-bread, detached, and intelligent. It was a bad habit ingrained since childhood, when he had felt so small, poor and helpless. It was important to be kind to Sev when he started using unnecessary multi-syllabic words and too much French. It was when he was at his most vulnerable and, consequently, also his most volatile. Lily looked at her shoes for a minute, before turning towards her friend.

“I’m sorry Severus. I shouldn’t have been so tactless; I know you risked a lot to help us during the war. I didn’t think, as I was the one who would be doing spying. But I realise now that, as my cover, you would need to do a fair amount of acting as well. If it’s any consolation, one of the reasons I asked you was that I knew you would do a more convincing job of playing the part than either James or Sirius would.”

Severus snorted his derisive agreement to her last statement, and Lily continued.

“I guess I also thought that if you helped me, it might make James trust you a little more.” Lily bit her bottom lip and looked penitent, waiting to see if Sev would take the bait. 

“Why should I care if that tosser trusts me?”

Lily looked at her shoes for a minute, controlling her urge to smirk. This was just too easy. Instead she looked up at Sev with soft eyes, “Because then he might let me introduce Harry to you. I would love for you to meet my boy. Also, if I didn’t have to constantly arrange babysitting, it would make it easier for me to meet you more regularly.” 

Severus shoulders hunched, and he looked at his shoes. “I’ll think about it,” he muttered.

“Thanks,” Lily said softly, squeezing Sev’s arm. 

“No promises, mind.”

“I know. But all the same.”

“We better get this lab cleaned up,” Severus straitened, and Lily nodded, returning to her work with apparent vigour. She felt slightly dirty, even though she honestly didn’t think she had done anything very wrong. Bloody Severus always brought out the worst in her. She would never have felt the need to use _feminine wiles_ in order to convince James of anything. James never forced her to be manipulative. Not that she supposed anyone could strictly _force_ one to be manipulative, but somehow it always felt like a necessity around Snape. He would only listen to her when she played the part. However, if it meant they were able to help Remus and bring the Longbottom’s tormentors to justice, it was surely OK that she’d had to bat her eyelids and be vaguely duplicitous. It wasn’t so bad. After all, everything she said had been true: James _was_ more likely to trust Severus if he helped them, she _did_ want Sev to meet Harry, and it _would_ be easier to meet up if she didn’t need a babysitter. Having an ulterior motive as well didn’t make her argument less valid, surely? The feeling of being vaguely grimy would pass in time - she was probably just being too much of a Gryffindor about the whole thing. 

Lily finished the scouring charms she was using on the floors and hearths and collected her things. All in all, she was glad to be going home.

 

o-O-o

 

Lilly settled with a cup of tea and her half of the journal she’d duplicated for Remus. She was excited, if this worked it would open a whole range of possibilities for communication between the four of them. Gently, she placed the book on the coffee table, working the spine open so it lay flat, and tapping it lightly with her wand, so the cover sparkled for an instant. With bated breath, she inked her quill and wrote:

 

_Hi Rem, James and Lily here. Did this work?_

**_Yes, perfectly. Remus and Sirius here, Remus writing. Minerva is out._ **

_Oh, good. Can you not tell Minerva about this?_

**_??_ **

_I want to have a little privacy, that’s all._

**_What is it you don’t want her to know?_ **

_James and I want to do some behind the scenes snooping for your trial. Minerva told us not to._

**_What a surprise. OK, what was your plan? Or have you already done something stupid?_ **

_Ye of little faith. Of course, we haven’t done anything stupid. Well, I may have tried to look up your MoM file and pump Kingsley for info. But I couldn’t, and he wouldn’t give me any, so that doesn’t count._

**_Right. Of course not. I have no idea why I would think such a thing…. (is the sarcasm coming through, it’s so difficult to do without eye rolls). So, what is your very reasonable, non-stupid plan, that you never-the-less don’t want to tell Minerva?_ **

_Not much at the moment, because I don’t have a lot to go on. I want to spy on the NOBs, though. Sev says he’ll help._

**_Snape says he’ll help?! But he hates me._ **

_But he doesn’t hate me. You’re right, though. He wasn’t thrilled about the idea to start with. I had to persuade him, but he sent me an owl half an hour ago agreeing to be my cover, so it worked._

**_Your cover??_ **

_Yep. He’s going to join the NOBs. I’m going to tail him to the meetings in James’s cloak & spy. It is a plan of complete brilliance. _

**_Nothing I say will convince you not to do this, right?_ **

_You know me so well._

**_Bugger. OK, but be really careful, won’t you?_ **

_Promise xx_

**_When are you going to the first meeting?_ **

_Wednesday. Sev’s contacting one of his old Slytherin buddies tomorrow to set it up._

**_Do you know who his contact is?_ **

_Narcissa Black, I think. Sorry, Narcissa_ Malfoy _\- she married the slimy blond one from school._

**_Could be worse, I guess._ **

_True._

 

**_Aelia says she thinks that Adalwolfa might be pregnant._ **

_So she says. I didn’t realise she contacted you about it._

**_You don’t think Adal is?_ **

_Pregnant people don’t have a little read-out on their forehead only legible to women, you know._

**_No need to be shirty. It can be easier to pick up on signs when you’ve experienced the condition yourself._ **

_I don’t know Rem. She says she’s not, but I guess it’s possible she’s hiding it. Is it really our business?_

**_If she is, then she needs our help._ **

_I can arrange transport so she can see a healer if she wants one._

**_She won’t want one. Werewolves usually avoid Healers - most of us have had some very bad experiences. But she really needs to see one, just the same. Transformation during pregnancy is dangerous - I’ve been reading about it._ **

_I’ll talk to her. Can Sirius fill me in on the medical details? Next full moon is in two weeks’ time, right?_

**_More like one week, sorry. And yes, Sirius has scrolls etc - he found them for me. Aelia talked to him, too._ **

_She’s very thorough. I can see why you two get on._

**_Reminds me of one of my other friends._ **

_Shall I assume you mean James?_

**_Lil, Prongs couldn’t be organised if his life depended on it, and sometimes it HAS. If it wasn’t for you, I think he very likely may have been dead by now._ **

_I always tell him he doesn’t know how lucky his is to have me. Ow! He just poked me. This is unfair, Remus, tell him!_

**_Don’t poke your wife Prongs. Even if she is unbearable._ **

_Oi, this is a betrayal. You had better talk to him in person if you’re going to be rude. I don’t want to have to be the go-between for insults on my person._

**_But as go-between you at least know what we’re saying about you._ **

_I’m not talking to you anymore._

**_In that case, you better pass me over to James._ **

_OK._

 

Lily passed James the journal with a grin. It had been good to talk to Remus; the shared journal had been a good idea. Even though she now had to solve werewolf related maternity problems in less than a week, on top of parenting, her internship and a spying appointment on Wednesday. Oh well, she had always liked being busy, after all. 


End file.
